We can't get married?!!!!!?

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Jodi20 Posts : 4 Registered: 8/7/09
We can't get married?!!!!!?
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 1:42 PM

My fiance, Don, and I have been planning our wedding at the El Dorado Royale in Mexico for 9 months now. Our wedding is in one month and today I found out from the resort that we cannot be legally married in Mexico because Don's divorce to his first wife was finalized less than a year ago. They've been separated for years, but that doesn't matter in Mexico. It's too late to postpone our trip so we're stuck getting married here at the Justice of the Peace and then having our religious ceremony in Mexico. I'm heartbroken! Can you beleive it? I just don't understand why this didn't come up sooner.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: We can't get married?!!!!!?
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 2:16 PM Go to message in response to: Jodi20

Honestly, you can get married, will get married and still have the ceremony in Mexico, so I don't really see what the big deal is. I can understand being a little upset that it's not going exactly as planned, but that's sort of what life is about.

It's not like you found out the divorce was never finalized or something.

Take a deep breath and just re-orient yourself. It's OK and will turn out just fine!

 

 

 

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: We can't get married?!!!!!?
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 3:58 PM Go to message in response to: Jodi20

I agree with PharmTox - stop stressing. So you'll be legally married a few days before your ceremony in Mexico. At least you can get legally married here, and at least you can still have the trip, ceremony, and celebration in Mexico. It could be far worse.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: We can't get married?!!!!!?
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 4:16 PM Go to message in response to: Jodi20

That sucks. I get that you want the first "I do" to be the official one.

Must you do it before? Can you wait till after your wedding, maybe a small, legal ceremony for the people who could not go to Mexico and see it in the first place? Just throwing it out there.

__________________________________________

"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, or insanity, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson

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julyhymn Posts : 3 Registered: 10/2/09
Re: We can't get married?!!!!!?
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 9:04 PM Go to message in response to: Jodi20

It sucks that this isn't originally what you wanted, but look on the bright side- getting legally married here will save you having to get the blood tests in Mexico, having the marriage certificate translated, etc, etc. My fiancee and I are getting married here first specifically to avoid the hassle! Then when you get down there all you have to worry about is having a great time! And like someone else said, if you want the DW to be the "special" (or first!) time you say I DO, get legally married here after the ceremony. You don't even have to tell anyone else - as far as they know, it will be your legally binding ceremony!


"i have to return some videotapes...."

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: We can't get married?!!!!!?
Posted: Apr 13, 2010 12:25 AM Go to message in response to: julyhymn

And you can get legally married here before the ceremony in Mexico too.

You can still get married - in the country that it counts.

 

 

 

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: We can't get married?!!!!!?
Posted: Apr 14, 2010 10:29 AM Go to message in response to: Jodi20

Dear Jodi,

" I just don't understand why this didn't come up sooner. "

Why? Because you did not do your due diligence researching the legalities of a foreign wedding before you made concrete plans. This is like someone showing up at the airport, denied boarding, and saying "Why didn't someone tell me I needed a passport?". (I've seen that in my own travels.)

This is now water under the bridge. You will have to have a courthouse real, legal wedding, then a fake wedding in Mexico.

Don't make this mistake again. Take time to research things before you commit to anything. Buying a new house? Do your research in advance. Buying a new car? Research. Travel? Research.

Your wedding situation is a huge disappointment, but you may learn a lesson that prevents you from making an expensive mistake in the future.

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elitegrp Posts : 1,048 Registered: 9/12/06
Re: We can't get married?!!!!!?
Posted: Apr 14, 2010 10:29 PM Go to message in response to: Jodi20

Sorry to hear about this problem you ran into! The wedding coordinator at the resort or even the agency you are working with should have provided this information to you before you even put down your deposit to book. We are always up front and give all information to our clients before anything is set in stone!

Congrats again!!

Tammy Levent
www.honeymoongiveaway.com


 

Cool Have a great day! and Congrats to you

 

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Jodi20 Posts : 4 Registered: 8/7/09
Re: We can't get married?!!!!!?
Posted: Apr 19, 2010 3:39 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

wow, Auntofthebride, the one thing I've noticed during this whole wedding planning process is that everyone is so full of criticism and so quick to judge. And coincidentally, it's those same people who have not lifted a finger to help me or support me. I'm doing the best job I can possibly do considering I have a life outside of planning a 4 hour event. And I'm doing this alone, with no help. On top of that, I've never planned a wedding before and am out of my league. I remember my mother telling me when I was younger that if I couldn't say something nice, that I shouldn't say anything at all. Words I try to live by. And you? hmm.
To the rest of you, thank you for being supportive! I've calmed down and Don and I are actually loving the idea of saying 'I Do' twice. And we both think it will be romantic to sort of elope before the family ceremony in Mexico and have a private wedding for just the two of us. I really appreciate that you supported me in my little screw-up rather than judge me. No one needs that. You're the best! Cheers.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: We can't get married?!!!!!?
Posted: Apr 19, 2010 8:25 PM Go to message in response to: Jodi20

Dear Jodi,

I did not write what I did to be critical, but to suggest a silver lining to the cloud. You learned a good lesson in the value of due diligence.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: We can't get married?!!!!!?
Posted: Apr 19, 2010 11:36 PM Go to message in response to: Jodi20

Honestly, this is your fault. Learning to look beyond it and learn from it are in your grasp.

Pointing out how to look beyond that and use it in different ways shouldn't be nasty - it's called critical criticism - i.e. you can learn from it.


 

 

 

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: We can't get married?!!!!!?
Posted: Apr 20, 2010 8:40 PM Go to message in response to: Jodi20

Dear Cass,

". But don't worry about whether you get married legally because you can hold your wedding without telling anyone."

So, not only does she have a fake wedding, but she lies to her friends and family about it.

"Evry girl wants to walk into the holy matrimony to be the most pretty bride."

Not true. Plenty of woman live long and happy lives without ever getting married.

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