Is it ok to plan my own party?

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Is it ok to plan my own party?
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 8:15 AM

Is it wrong for me to plan my own bachelorette party? I started planning my own girls-get-together and then I started thinking if it's right for ME to throw myself a party? My maid of honor asked me a few months ago what I wanted to do for my bachelorette party and when I told her my ideas she said okay. I never expected her to throw me a party since she's throwing me a shower. So I took on the responsibility to throw myself a party. I'm not asking anyone for money. I just want them to show up and have a good time. Is this ok to do?



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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Is it ok to plan my own party?
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 8:33 AM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

As long as you're not expecting anybody to pay for you, I think it's fine. But that's me - others may disagree. Thinking it over a little more, I guess it depends on what type of party it is. If you're inviting your girlfriends to your house to hang out and calling it your BP, that sounds great. If you're inviting them to go out for the night, that's fine, too. But if the whole thing will involve a lot of money on their part (say, more than $30), it's probably best to have your MOH invite everybody. For example, I'd be cool with a friend planning her own BP if it was a night out and I could control the amount of money I spent (perhaps a cover charge for 1-2 places and a couple drinks), but if she planned a big thing, involving a spa day, a baseball game, a limo, AND a night on the town and expected me to shell out the money for each of those things, I might be a little turned off if she planned it herself. But again, that's me. I'm also a little turned off when a MOH plans a BP and expects each guest to shell out hundreds of dollars to attend.

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: Is it ok to plan my own party?
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 9:45 AM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

I don't think it's that unusual for a bride to plan the party. Usually, the MOH or another woman hosts, but I tend to assume that the bride is really planning it. The b-parties I've been to have mostly involved weekends somewhere else, and I know it was the bride's idea, with the MOH in charge generally of just communicating everything.

A party that isn't sensitive to other people's budgetary limits isn't cool, no matter who is planning it, so as long as you know that, I think you're good to go. I would figure out what it is that you want to do, how much you'd expect it to cost, and disseminate that information. The more casual, the better response you'll get. Also, try not to take any no's personally.

Have fun!

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Is it ok to plan my own party?
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 9:50 AM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Dear CA,

It depends on what kind of party you are planning, and depends on how the party will be financed.

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Is it ok to plan my own party?
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 10:12 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

I am actually thinking of having two parties. I wouldn't really call them a party, just mostly girls get togethers. I am having 3 nieces in the wedding party and they are 8, 13, and 15. So I was thinking of having one party where they can participate and then another party just for the 21+ girls.

The underage party will be only for my bridesmaids and my nieces. I was thinking of having it in my apartment and giving each other facials and manicures. We'll have pizza, snacks, ice cream sundaes, etc. It'll be a stay in relaxing having a girly time night. I can supply all the food if no one chips in.


The other party I was thinking of having it 2 nights before the wedding. I was thinking of going to a Casino close by to home with my older bridesmaids and 2 other of my out of state friends who will be visiting for the wedding. We'll just eat, drink, walk around (they have many shops there), and maybe even try our luck at the slots machine. I was even thinking of getting a hotel room for us. I'm thinking of paying for the room but I figured for the food, drinking, and gambling part whoever wants to participate can chip in on their own. I don't think it's too pricey for them unless they decide to spend their whole life savings playing the games lol.


 

                           
                                          CIMG7482-1.jpg picture by CheetahAngel81

 

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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Is it ok to plan my own party?
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 11:58 AM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Cheetah, since your not expecting people to pay for you our themselves for either party, I think it's totally fine for you to plan it. I think it's more common for brides to be involved with the B-party planning because you never know what someone wants, and what the MOH might think is the perfect B-party, the bride could totally hate it. Hope you guys have fun!

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Is it ok to plan my own party?
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 12:13 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Dear CA,

That sounds fine.

For the underage party, you will pay for all the food and drinks, then provide a place for the party. That's the definition of "hosting" a party. The guests need only show up and have a good time.

Your over-21 party sounds OK, too. My suggestion is, as party host, you pay for the hotel room and a round of food and drinks. If people want to gamble in the casinos, that's their business. They gamble with their money, then keep any winnings.

I guess the question I would ask you is this: Can a guest come to the over-21 party with no cash in her pocket, and still have a good time? She might not gamble, but she can partake of the hotel room, the food and drinks in the room and walk around with the others.

The "litmus test" of a hosted party is if the guest has to fund any part of it. Do I have to pay money out of my own pocket as part of my participation as a guest at your party? (This does not mean you can't say something like "Bring your makeup, nail polish and facial supplies so we can try things out." That's fine, if make-overs are part of the entertainment.)

Some of your guests, especially the older ones with actual paychecks, might offer to help fund the party. If they do that on their own volition, then great, accept their offer as co-hosts. Start planning and budgeting, however, under the assumption that you will pay the entire cost out of your pocket.

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: Is it ok to plan my own party?
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 12:25 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Your plans sound perfect to me.

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hljanes Posts : 57 Registered: 12/31/09
Re: Is it ok to plan my own party?
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 2:55 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Cheetah,

I think that's fine. I know I'm a little lax on etiquette rules, but it certainly wouldn't bother me, what you have proposed.

Out of curiosity, which casino are you planning to hit up? (I lived ~2 years in CT.) Mohegan Sun or Foxwoods? Mohegan is so much fun, but FH and I always always lose money there. I swear they stack the decks!

LOVE the spa there though! Were you guys planning on doing manis/pedis? If so, with the timing you're looking at, might be fun (though it definitely isn't cheap there). And I would think, if your bridesmaids were already planning on getting their nails done, it would be okay for you to suggest doing it while you were there - if you all were okay with the pricing. Though I could be wrong...

Heather

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Is it ok to plan my own party?
Posted: Apr 13, 2010 9:09 AM Go to message in response to: hljanes

We're thinking of going to Mohegan. I love that better than Foxwoods :) I think the spa will be too pricey for my girls and me but I did look into it. It would be fun but unfortunetly it's too much money. But I could ask however how much just a manicure would be.

Now the hard part is trying to decide what day to do it because 1)My MOH may have to work on the 8th and she already took tons of days off for the wedding and another party she is attending 2)My MOH and other bridesmaid thinks that having the Casino trip on the 8th may be too tiring for me and them considering the wedding is on the 10th. I don't think I will be tired. I have all day on the 9th to rest.

 

                           
                                          CIMG7482-1.jpg picture by CheetahAngel81

 

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Julie1019 Posts : 1 Registered: 10/20/09
Re: Is it ok to plan my own party?
Posted: Apr 13, 2010 12:49 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

You could do what I'm doing with mine where you plan out the event yourself but let your MOH or friend send out the invites. If your bridesmaids are anything like mine they'll be glad to not have to do the grunt work on scouting out places to have it, plus it will allow them the oppertunity to add their own flair to it if they'd like.

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hljanes Posts : 57 Registered: 12/31/09
Re: Is it ok to plan my own party?
Posted: Apr 13, 2010 1:47 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

I've only been to Foxwoods once, but Mohegan just seems like a lot more fun :)

What about doing it a day earlier? Will that work for everyone?

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GoingCrazy5110 Posts : 2 Registered: 11/28/08
Re: Is it ok to plan my own party?
Posted: Apr 17, 2010 2:26 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

JUST came back from my party. If I could go back, I would TOTALLY plan my own party. Didn't do a single thing I wanted to do because the girls were indecisive and needed to be together the ENTIRE TIME. Very annoying. Do what you want to do and definately have your own money.

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