SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!

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JoelsPrettyPres... Posts : 41 Registered: 12/2/09
SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!
Posted: Apr 11, 2010 4:42 PM

OK I know your thinking "you can't steal a wedding date", which is what I thought to, but I'm sure you will change your mind after I tell you what happened.

My fiance is pretty close with his boss (we will call him brian), they go to the bar sometimes, or have poker night at his house. They work together frequently and when I bring my fiance lunch at work I always chit chat with Brian as well. As a matter of fact after Joel and I got engaged I went into his work and showed the guys the ring, and Joel told everyone the date he picked for our wedding. He thinks he is so clever. lol . Anyway Brian is engaged as well (we will call her blair) and he invited us out to meet her about a month ago.

Once I met Blair she immediately began talking about wedding planning and so on, they had been engaged for two or so years yet had not set a date. Us on the other hand chose our date about two days after getting engaged, and began meeting with vendors two months after. Blair stated that she was thinking about some time in May but wasnt set on a day yet, then of course she asked our date. I more than willingly gushed about all the plans we had made and told her the date. To which Blairs reply was "your getting married right after 9/11? I guess thats alright". ( I only clearly remember the conversation because she said that.) Then of course she explained all she had in mind for her day and I forgot all about it. Until...

Just yesterday, my fiance had to give Brian some work related items and I was with him so we stopped by their home. They invited us in for a second and thats when Blair told us they had finally picked a date. I was so happy and asked with all enthusiasm when it was. To which she said "9/10/11" I was shocked, I'm pretty sure my mouth was hanging open. I of course said as politely as possible "oh that's our date to" (mind you I was trying not to be rude, I mean I am aware you can't call dibbs on a day so I was trying to feel out if she did this on purpose or it was an honest mistake.)

Here is the part that just erks me! That just drives me nutts when I think of it. She looked up at me smirked (like I know its your date) looked at Brian, smirked, then finally laughed and said "well you better switch your date cause Brian will be taking off for that and Joel will HAVE to work for him"...Pardon my language but... Bitch! What the hell??

The worst part of it is she is right! The way the order goes down at their work, Joel would have to cover for Brian. Though Joel assures me, and says "I don't care if I have to switch to another corporate location, we won't change our date." The problem is that might not be so easy, he just got promoted at this location and switching within the first year is not possible. So what can I do? I wanted to say right then and there what I thought of her, however I held my tongue for my fiance and just left the house.

What would you ladies do? Is this wrong?? I think I just want people to assure me it is wrong. Or am I wrong? I honestly, in this particular situation, believe I'm not. I want to confront her about it so badly. She knew that was our date! That we had put deposits down, and had chosen it when we first were engaged. I just feel like my time to confront her was when she said it, and now its past. She knew, she had to have! The two times I mentioned aren't the only times we said our date, those are just the two times I know for certain, we must have told them hundreds of times. What should I do?

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jmrosazza Posts : 12 Registered: 2/7/10
Re: SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!
Posted: Apr 11, 2010 4:50 PM Go to message in response to: JoelsPrettyPres...

Who is in charge of approving time off? If it isn't Brian, have your FH put in his notice for time off now - if he hasn't already.

I would be mad too - given you have a pretty desirable date, but still..what a bitch!

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MagicalMomentsP... Posts : 742 Registered: 3/6/06
Re: SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!
Posted: Apr 11, 2010 5:49 PM Go to message in response to: jmrosazza

Your FH needs to have a little chat with his boss. What Blair did was just plain mean and nasty. I hope the guys can work this out. Perhaps Brian was not aware of what was going on and might not want to be a party to Blair's game. But in the worst case, I'm sure some managers from another location could cover for both of the guys. Then if your FH wanted to be mean, he could quit a couple days before the wedding days (assuming he has a job to go to) and then his boss would be forced to work. Serves her right.

Seriously, I would not give her any more information. She could start canceling your vendors and such. Some vendors are not very careful and will take a cancelation via phone with no other written confirmation. Then your vendors might not show up.

Howard Kier, Certified Professional Wedding Photographer

Magical Moments Photography

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!
Posted: Apr 11, 2010 7:15 PM Go to message in response to: JoelsPrettyPres...

Dear PPB,

Your FH needs to have a business meeting with his boss and get that date cleared for his wedding and honeymoon, and get that confirmed in writing. If the boss wants that same date for his wedding, then it will be up to him to get other coverage if both guys are off at the same time.

Forget the fiancée. She's a jerk. Get a confirmation, get it writing and copy the corporate HQ on the correspondence.

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BWFrancie Posts : 70 Registered: 11/11/09
Re: SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!
Posted: Apr 11, 2010 8:30 PM Go to message in response to: JoelsPrettyPres...

What a mean, nasty thing to do! I agree with Aunt. She gives you good advice.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!
Posted: Apr 11, 2010 9:45 PM Go to message in response to: JoelsPrettyPres...

PPB - When I first read the title, I was like 'really?' - HOWEVER, upon reading the post, wow.

I'm with AOTB. Also is there any HR department at his job? Just nasty.

EDIT: Also, with it being in 2011 (is that correct?), he will have been promoted for awhile and can move prior to the date, but let's see what can be done before that!




Edited by: PharmToxGirl on Apr 11, 2010 9:45 PM

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 8:47 AM Go to message in response to: JoelsPrettyPres...

Honestly...you have one of those dates that's going to be really popular because of the numbers. Remember all the issues with 07/07/07? Well, maybe you don't, but I was invited to three weddings for that day. Ergh. But the point is that nobody owns ANY wedding date, and when you choose a popular one, the chances are higher that someone else you know will choose it.

That said, this girl does sound like a piece of work, but I don't think I'd worry too much about it. The date is still about a year and a half away and you said that they've already been engaged for quite some time, right? Chances are, they'll change it.

I wouldn't confront her about it. That's just high-schoolish. Just go forward with your plans, and for God's sake, don't share any information with her or you'll find everything from guests to vendors stolen out from under you.

About the work situation, he should speak to his supervisor NOW. If Brian is the supervisor and approves time off, speak to his supervisor. With a year and a half's notice, they can work something out that will allow both men to take the time off - how about bringing in somebody for a week from another one of those corporate locations you've mentioned? Also, he has a year and a half to work this out. You said that he can't transfer to another corporate location in the first year, but he'll have been working there for a year and a half by then. In any case, if your FH brings this issue up to his supervisors/HR now, they can certainly work something out by Sept 2011 so that both men can take the time off that they need. I think you're worrying for nothing.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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Marryingmytruel... Posts : 135 Registered: 2/11/10
Re: SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 9:06 AM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I agree that your FH should put in a vacation request now or atleast notify the appropriate person/department. It sounds like "Blair" is just being a b*tch but try to ignore her. You probably won't have anything to worry about.

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WellWisher Posts : 175 Registered: 1/2/10
Re: SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 12:43 PM Go to message in response to: JoelsPrettyPres...

I'm really sorry this happened to you: What a nightmare! Don't worry about it, it sounds like Brian is a reasonable guy and I'm sure everything will work out. In the meantime, just imagine everything you could do to hurt this woman (not actually doing any of it, of course) and getting married to your favorite person in the world.

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JoelsPrettyPres... Posts : 41 Registered: 12/2/09
Re: SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 1:08 PM Go to message in response to: Marryingmytruel...

My FH set up a meeting with the district manager, the one above Brian, for tomorrow. Thank you AOTB you do always have good advice.

I did realize it was a year away and we would have the time to resolve it. I just think I had to post it to see if others felt that it was as wrong as I did. I know you can't be the only one who gets married on a certain day, I know I have a popular date, but I also know the way this woman imparticular went about choosing her date, while knowing the impact she could have on my day was just wrong.

So yes, basically it was a venting post. But you ladies did help me out, since Brian is who does the scheduling, and approves all time off, FH has to go to his district manager to settle the date request, and I wouldnt have thought to tell him to try if you guys didnt suggest it. It's a very good thing too! When FH spoke to his DM on the phone he was pleased he was requesting this length off time this early (Our wedding weekend then two week honeymoon). Apparently they like how he is showing concern that the dates will be covered and worked. So that seems to be turning out well.

Not mad about it anymore, just shocked that a fellow bride would behave in such an outright nasty way. And your all right I wont be saying one more word about my wedding to her, she actually left me a voicemail last night asking for "that photographer I liked so much number." She knows we haven't booked her yet, but she know I want her. Hmmmm......

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 2:38 PM Go to message in response to: JoelsPrettyPres...

Wow, that's insane. Hopefully you'll get the time now and that won't be an issue.

You're right not to confront her, although I certainly understand the temptation. It's the smirk that gets me. I mean, if it's a popular date (and I wouldn't have imagined it would be, with the whole 9/11 angle) then of course others will get married on the same date. But at the very least, she could have said something to the effect of "we like your date so much, we chose it ourselves!" rather than being all smirk-y. I mean, it still wouldn't have really been cool, but people choose dates for a variety of reasons (it could have legitimately been the best date available to them) and she could have addressed in such a way that would have shown consideration for your concerns.

Blech. Yeah, don't share any further info with her. It's not like she's going to be coming to your wedding anyway. And I agree with ART -- with the prolonged engagement she's had, it's up in the air whether this date will even stick.

__________________________________________

"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, or insanity, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson

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MagicalMomentsP... Posts : 742 Registered: 3/6/06
Re: SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 4:14 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

she actually left me a voicemail last night asking for "that
photographer I liked so much number." She knows we haven't booked her
yet, but she know I want her. Hmmmm......

Well..... you could always give her MY number.....

Howard Kier, Certified Professional Wedding Photographer

Magical Moments Photography


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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 6:09 PM Go to message in response to: JoelsPrettyPres...

Dear PPB,

Yeah, just let your FH handle it on a purely professional level. Talk to the DM, get the time off engraved in stone, and you're good to go.

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alymar Posts : 100 Registered: 3/2/10
Re: SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 10:16 PM Go to message in response to: JoelsPrettyPres...

ugh... Its one thing that other weddings will happen on the same days as yours but its a different situation, imho, when you know its someone within your same community and making a comment like that... wow!

Good luck with everything.. .and yeah so not someone to talk to about wedding plans. And I would say if you like that photographer - book her now and just let her know if something were to change you would speak to her face to face.

And congrats to your FH for handling it so well at work.

Friendship is a wonderful base for love...
When is my wedding
Wedding Ticker from WhenIsMyWedding.com

Edited by: alymar on Apr 12, 2010 10:16 PM

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SarahSarah Posts : 93 Registered: 10/9/09
Re: SO MAD!! Someone stole my wedding date!!
Posted: May 14, 2010 3:28 PM Go to message in response to: alymar

That girl is a piece of work. What a snot! I'm picturing this random girl in my head smirking, I wanna smack her, haha!

Secondly, congrats! I'm getting married on 9/10/11 too!

And don't worry about it being a day before ''9/11''. I was actually going to get married this year on 9-11, because that is my grandparents wedding anniversary, so it also has a different meaning to my family.

I hope this works out between your husband to be and his boss.

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