Wedding in 15 days...lots of things going wrong = bad luck?

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loislaneisabrid... Posts : 51 Registered: 2/22/07
Wedding in 15 days...lots of things going wrong = bad luck?
Posted: Apr 8, 2010 1:46 PM

Ok...calm me down. LOL

In the last three days several major things have happened that have me freaking out a bit (I'm a bit superstitious).

  • One of my bridesmaids backed out 2 days ago - less than three weeks to the wedding - because she couldn't afford the dress/hair. I had let the girls pick out their own dresses from whatever store they wanted. I didn't care the style, cut or length. Just the color had to match. So I had to quick find someone else to fill her spot.

  • My mother and I have been arguing since LAST YEAR about my uncle walking me down the aisle and my aunt throwing me a shower. My mother, who has made it crystal clear that she is not coming to my wedding and really wants nothing to do with it, has been going on and on and on and on about my aunt and uncle. She (my mom) was not planning on throwing me a shower, but now my aunt is being sneaky by doing so and not inviting my mom. Even though we know that she had NO plans of coming. BTW, my father is deceased and that is why my uncle, who is my mom's brother, is walking me down the aisle. We got into another huge fight about it today. I've had enough. She tried to call me after she left and I wouldn't pick up the phone.

  • Seamstress calls today. Says that the dress won't be ready til the 13th now - is that ok? Well, what am I going to say? It's gonna have to be ok.

  • Hair salon calls. The girl, whom I've been going to for over two years and who I had planned for a year to do my hair AND who already did the hair trial with me, has quit. GREAT. The new girl who is replacing the old stylist called and asked me to come in a few days before the wedding for a hair trial, which is great.

Now I know this may all seem like small potatoes but all of this has happened today (with the exception of the bridesmaid - that happened Tuesday). I'm BEYOND stressed. This isn't bad luck and this isn't fate or the universe saying anything bad about our impending marriage. Right?

Please help calm me down! Thanks!

Edited by: loislaneisabride2b on Apr 8, 2010 1:46 PM

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Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Wedding in 15 days...lots of things going wrong = bad luck?
Posted: Apr 8, 2010 2:23 PM Go to message in response to: loislaneisabrid...

This is not bad luck, a sign or fate. It just happens. The week of my wedding I had a close friend cancel because he got pulled into mandatory overtime at work. Then my aunt, who is 80, fell and broke her hip, so she couldn't come. Our priest wasn't able to make the reception. My make up artist had to push me back an hour because of a double booking. My dress has a stain on it so I had to bring it back to the shop for an emergency spot cleaning.

When there are so many different variables involved in ANY event, there are bound to be a few hiccups. I understand that it can be frustrating and upsetting. But it will be okay.

 

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Wedding in 15 days...lots of things going wrong = bad luck?
Posted: Apr 8, 2010 3:01 PM Go to message in response to: loislaneisabrid...

Relax. Take a deep breath. These things happen to everyone. Do you know a single person who doesn't have a funny story about some crazy thing or other that happened right before their wedding? Here's a good one for you - when my BM dresses were being shipped from the designer to the bridal store, the package was flagged for additional security screening and lost! That's the weirdest one for me. But here's some other ones: the hair salon screwed up my appointment time and I inadvertently showed up with only 20 minutes left before the stylist's next appointment. When I gave the venue coordinator our final counts, I forgot to add DH and me. Realized that in the middle of my speech at the rehearsal dinner, so it went something like, 'And I'd like to thank my BMs for - holy crap, I forgot to add us to the guest list!' Between the day before and the day of the wedding, I lost about 5 keycards to my hotel room. I forgot to take my veil to my hair appointment. Forgot to pack mascara and had this crazy idea that I should drive home to get it instead of picking some up at CVS (luckily someone stopped me!) And then there was a whole fiasco with a rental car the day before. I was renting a car for my BMs to drive and somehow forgot that the rental car place would want to see the license of the person driving the car. Then I forgot to bring a credit card. I made three trips back and forth to the rental car place for various stupid reasons before I could leave with the car. OH - I almost forgot! I also got a flat tire (in my own car, not the rental car) the day before the wedding. How ridiculous is that?

You know what, though? Even with all those silly things 'going wrong', our wedding itself couldn't have gone better. And our first two years of marriage have been wonderful. So calm down!

As for what's going on, I wish you had posted here about your BM. It certainly sucks that she had to drop out, especially since she's presumably known about the expenses for quite some time. But you made unnecessary stress for yourself by trying to find a last-minute replacement. It would have been far less stress for you to have left the WP as is and just had uneven sides, and you would have avoided making the replacement feel like, well, a replacement.

Sorry that you and your mom are arguing, but at some point, you need to say 'Enough is enough' and stop answering the phone when she calls. Do you intend to argue with her all the way up to your wedding day? If not, then call it quits now. Neither of you are going to change the other one's mind, and it's just stressing you out. She's just being a drama queen, so stop listening to her. If she shows up, great. If not, then you're no worse off. Regardless, her opinion shouldn't change anything that's going on with your aunt and uncle, so what's the point in listening to it?

Don't worry about the dress. Why would you need it more than 11 days before the wedding, anyway? As long as it's ready by the time you need to put it on, you're good to go. Don't stress. As far as the hairstylist goes, that sucks, but it really doesn't matter who does your hair. At least there IS somebody taking over your appointment, and the new stylist sounds like she's eager to work with you. I would ask whether the salon will comp this second hair trial, though (if they charge you separately for trials - my place did), as it is not your fault that you need a second one. Either way, at least you'll be getting a hair trial with the new girl and can try out the look. I decided about a week before the wedding that I didn't care for the style we had done at my hair trial, so I picked something else, showed up with a photo at my appointment and told her to do it. It came out beautifully, so don't worry.

Relax. The world won't end because a few things came up three weeks before your wedding, nor does it mean you're doomed to a bad marriage. Everything will work out fine in the end.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Wedding in 15 days...lots of things going wrong = bad luck?
Posted: Apr 8, 2010 3:39 PM Go to message in response to: loislaneisabrid...

Dear LL,

Hey, you know what! All this bad luck now means good luck later!

I'd like to bet you're getting all the gremlins out now. On W-Day everything will go smooth as silk. That's heaps better than having it all collapse on W-Day. At least you now have time to deal with it.

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WinterWonderlan... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/23/08
Re: Wedding in 15 days...lots of things going wrong = bad luck?
Posted: Apr 8, 2010 4:29 PM Go to message in response to: loislaneisabrid...

I was the QUEEN of bad luck before my wedding. Since then though DH & I have been wonderful.

The day before my wedding, the person who was going to do our music called and backed out because his kids were really sick so he couldn't drive the 2+ hrs to come to my wedding and leave them.

Five minutes before my rehearsal my preacher called saying that he had a death in his family and would be unable to perform the ceremony. Luckily he had a back up for me, but it was still stressful to meet the person marrying you for the first time at the rehearsal!

The day before my OUTDOOR wedding (when we were going to do most of the decorating) it came a horrible downpour, and the site flooded. Also rain & unusually cold temperatures was the forecast for the entire next day. Not to mention my bridesmaids were in short dresses. (Luckily it was drying during the ceremony but it didn't start misting toward the end).

I could go on and on with the things that went badly in the days leading up to our wedding. I also had the "this day is just doomed with bad luck" feeling. However it turned out beautifully anyway! The cloudy skies and crisp cool air made our photos beautiful. The new preacher did a great job. We ended up having to do ipod music, but that was okay. It all turned out fine, and I'm sure yours will too.

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TeeZee Posts : 2 Registered: 12/11/06
Re: Wedding in 15 days...lots of things going wrong = bad luck?
Posted: Apr 8, 2010 9:25 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Don't worry things do happen and everything has a way of working out.

The Sunday night before my wedding, my DH called me from the emergency room. I rushed there, they told me they thought it was only indegestion, and they were keeping him overnight for observation. I went home. When I returned at seven the next morning, he was in the cardiac unit and scheduled for a catherization. They put two stents in his heart!

Doctos assured us it was fine to get married on Saturday and leave for our honeymoon to Punta Cana. We followed orders. lol

As a side note. He had always wanted bagpipes at his wedding. I had arranged for them as a surprise. The problem was the bagpiper was a friend of our family and as it turned out his Cardiologist! I had to tell him after the ceremony, so that he wouldn't think there was something horrible wrong with him and we had to have a cardiologist on hand in case something happened.

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turtle2 Posts : 56 Registered: 11/3/09
Re: Wedding in 15 days...lots of things going wrong = bad luck?
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 9:35 PM Go to message in response to: loislaneisabrid...

no these crazy things happen to many people. just take a breather and a step forward. adjust. be like a river and go with the flow, if a rock gets in your way, move the current around it or over it.

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loislaneisabrid... Posts : 51 Registered: 2/22/07
Re: Wedding in 15 days...lots of things going wrong = bad luck?
Posted: Apr 13, 2010 7:11 AM Go to message in response to: Bride2008

This is not bad luck, a sign or fate. It just happens. The week of my wedding I had a close friend cancel because he got pulled into mandatory overtime at work. Then my aunt, who is 80, fell and broke her hip, so she couldn't come. Our priest wasn't able to make the reception. My make up artist had to push me back an hour because of a double booking. My dress has a stain on it so I had to bring it back to the shop for an emergency spot cleaning.

When there are so many different variables involved in ANY event, there are bound to be a few hiccups. I understand that it can be frustrating and upsetting. But it will be okay.



Thanks Bride2008! I appreciate your kind words. There are a ton of different things to do and remember - especially in the last two weeks!


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loislaneisabrid... Posts : 51 Registered: 2/22/07
Re: Wedding in 15 days...lots of things going wrong = bad luck?
Posted: Apr 13, 2010 7:16 AM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Relax. Take a deep breath. These things happen to everyone. Do you know a single person who doesn't have a funny story about some crazy thing or other that happened right before their wedding? Here's a good one for you - when my BM dresses were being shipped from the designer to the bridal store, the package was flagged for additional security screening and lost! That's the weirdest one for me. But here's some other ones: the hair salon screwed up my appointment time and I inadvertently showed up with only 20 minutes left before the stylist's next appointment. When I gave the venue coordinator our final counts, I forgot to add DH and me. Realized that in the middle of my speech at the rehearsal dinner, so it went something like, 'And I'd like to thank my BMs for - holy crap, I forgot to add us to the guest list!' Between the day before and the day of the wedding, I lost about 5 keycards to my hotel room. I forgot to take my veil to my hair appointment. Forgot to pack mascara and had this crazy idea that I should drive home to get it instead of picking some up at CVS (luckily someone stopped me!) And then there was a whole fiasco with a rental car the day before. I was renting a car for my BMs to drive and somehow forgot that the rental car place would want to see the license of the person driving the car. Then I forgot to bring a credit card. I made three trips back and forth to the rental car place for various stupid reasons before I could leave with the car. OH - I almost forgot! I also got a flat tire (in my own car, not the rental car) the day before the wedding. How ridiculous is that?

LOL! Oh man! Yeah our dryer went a few days after I posted this and then the best man called yesterday and said he may not be able to make it to rehearsal (or he will be late) due to work.

You know what, though? Even with all those silly things 'going wrong', our wedding itself couldn't have gone better. And our first two years of marriage have been wonderful. So calm down!

Ok, I promise to try! I'm doing some retail therapy today so that should help!

As for what's going on, I wish you had posted here about your BM. It certainly sucks that she had to drop out, especially since she's presumably known about the expenses for quite some time. But you made unnecessary stress for yourself by trying to find a last-minute replacement. It would have been far less stress for you to have left the WP as is and just had uneven sides, and you would have avoided making the replacement feel like, well, a replacement.

It kind of worked out because the "new" BM is the groomsman's girlfriend. My friend that dropped out was supposed to walk with him. She was totally understanding about it so I don't think there are any hard feelings.

Sorry that you and your mom are arguing, but at some point, you need to say 'Enough is enough' and stop answering the phone when she calls. Do you intend to argue with her all the way up to your wedding day? If not, then call it quits now. Neither of you are going to change the other one's mind, and it's just stressing you out. She's just being a drama queen, so stop listening to her. If she shows up, great. If not, then you're no worse off. Regardless, her opinion shouldn't change anything that's going on with your aunt and uncle, so what's the point in listening to it?

I agree. I haven't talked to her since that fight and I've been ignoring her calls (and catty FB remarks @@ Grow up).

Don't worry about the dress. Why would you need it more than 11 days before the wedding, anyway? As long as it's ready by the time you need to put it on, you're good to go. Don't stress. As far as the hairstylist goes, that sucks, but it really doesn't matter who does your hair. At least there IS somebody taking over your appointment, and the new stylist sounds like she's eager to work with you. I would ask whether the salon will comp this second hair trial, though (if they charge you separately for trials - my place did), as it is not your fault that you need a second one. Either way, at least you'll be getting a hair trial with the new girl and can try out the look. I decided about a week before the wedding that I didn't care for the style we had done at my hair trial, so I picked something else, showed up with a photo at my appointment and told her to do it. It came out beautifully, so don't worry.

:) I do think it's a good sign that the stylist called me and approached me about coming in. Very good, in deed. I am going for my fitting for my dress today and you are right - what good was it gonna do sitting in my bedroom for a few extra days? LOL

Relax. The world won't end because a few things came up three weeks before your wedding, nor does it mean you're doomed to a bad marriage. Everything will work out fine in the end.

Thanks for the reassuring words ArtBride!

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loislaneisabrid... Posts : 51 Registered: 2/22/07
Re: Wedding in 15 days...lots of things going wrong = bad luck?
Posted: Apr 13, 2010 7:18 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Dear LL,

Hey, you know what! All this bad luck now means good luck later!

I'd like to bet you're getting all the gremlins out now. On W-Day everything will go smooth as silk. That's heaps better than having it all collapse on W-Day. At least you now have time to deal with it

I like the way you look at things! Very positive!

Reply


loislaneisabrid... Posts : 51 Registered: 2/22/07
Re: Wedding in 15 days...lots of things going wrong = bad luck?
Posted: Apr 13, 2010 9:15 AM Go to message in response to: WinterWonderlan...

I was the QUEEN of bad luck before my wedding. Since then though DH & I have been wonderful.

The day before my wedding, the person who was going to do our music called and backed out because his kids were really sick so he couldn't drive the 2+ hrs to come to my wedding and leave them.

Five minutes before my rehearsal my preacher called saying that he had a death in his family and would be unable to perform the ceremony. Luckily he had a back up for me, but it was still stressful to meet the person marrying you for the first time at the rehearsal!

The day before my OUTDOOR wedding (when we were going to do most of the decorating) it came a horrible downpour, and the site flooded. Also rain & unusually cold temperatures was the forecast for the entire next day. Not to mention my bridesmaids were in short dresses. (Luckily it was drying during the ceremony but it didn't start misting toward the end).

I could go on and on with the things that went badly in the days leading up to our wedding. I also had the "this day is just doomed with bad luck" feeling. However it turned out beautifully anyway! The cloudy skies and crisp cool air made our photos beautiful. The new preacher did a great job. We ended up having to do ipod music, but that was okay. It all turned out fine, and I'm sure yours will too.

Thanks for the reassurance WWB. :) I have to just realize that things are going to happen that are out of my control - I can only control my reaction. Oosa, oosa (from "Friends" LOL)

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