Our little unexpected surprise!!!

Online Users: 1,292 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 13


FutureMrsMartin... Posts : 8 Registered: 3/4/10
Our little unexpected surprise!!!
Posted: Apr 2, 2010 9:56 AM

I recently found out that I'm about 10 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend wants to hurry up and get married before the baby comes. I don't wanna rush just because we're having a baby. Right now I live in Memphis,TN and he lives in Rochester,NY. We're both in college right now. He wants me to move up there as soon as I get out for the summer. His family is really excited for us. My family is excited also but they're also worried we have too much going on already w/o trying to plan a quick wedding before I start showing too much. I have no problem moving up there so he can be around during my pregnancy and for the birth of our child but I think we should hold off on marriage.
 I Been Diagnosed With Love

Reply


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Our little unexpected surprise!!!
Posted: Apr 2, 2010 10:49 AM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsMartin...

I'm sure you're going to get a myriad of responses for this and it will all come down to personal opinions.

My personal opinion is that rushing into a marriage because of a pregnancy can complicate an already complicated situation. So I think waiting to get married, but moving to be near one another is a good idea.

Can you transfer to a school up there? I would hate for you to lose what schooling you have already completed.

Good luck!

 

 

 

Reply


FutureMrsMartin... Posts : 8 Registered: 3/4/10
Re: Our little unexpected surprise!!!
Posted: Apr 2, 2010 12:24 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Thank you for your response. We had talked about gettin married before we found out I was pregnant but we were gonna wait at another year or two. After finding out about the pregnancy he wants to get married within the next few months. I've already applied to schools up there so I transfer my credits. We agree that my education is very important.
 I Been Diagnosed With Love

Reply


angust87 Posts : 35 Registered: 3/24/10
Re: Our little unexpected surprise!!!
Posted: Apr 2, 2010 5:47 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsMartin...

well first of all congratulations. i was in a similar situation around christmas, we found out i was pregnant and had talked about marriage, we were going to wait till we were ready to get married and do it the right way and not feel rushed about something so wonderful. we had lost our baby, so it never came down to it and all of the crazy opinions. so i'd say move up there and go to school and enjoy being pregnant together, but maybe wait for marriage for when you guys were going to do it in the first place. that way, even though you guys have already talked about marriage, it's not like "oh, we got married sooner than planned because we got pregnant". you want it to be " we got married cuz we love each other very much and it's what we wanted" if that makes sense. well, that's just my opinion...let us know what you guys plan.


Daisypath Anniversary tickers    a PitaPata Cat tickers PitaPata Cat tickers PitaPata Dog tickers

Reply


08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Our little unexpected surprise!!!
Posted: Apr 2, 2010 6:03 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsMartin...

Congrats on the pregnancy! Rushing to get married can complicate an already complicated situation. You can still get married in a year or two like you guys already planned.

Don't feel like you have to be married before the baby comes, and don't worry about appearances.

Good luck and keep us posted. Also pop in the preggo thread its a lot of great ladies that preggo, trying, or already mommies like myself!


 Lilypie - (8e8A)

Reply


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Our little unexpected surprise!!!
Posted: Apr 2, 2010 8:39 PM Go to message in response to: 08divabride

Jinx Diva - read my reply above!! LOL

 

 

 

Reply


ChrisBride Posts : 33 Registered: 1/14/09
Re: Our little unexpected surprise!!!
Posted: Apr 2, 2010 11:17 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Congratulations! If you don't want to get married this soon, then I wouldn't. You have a lot on your plate right now and I think your absolutely right. You shouldn't rush into something if you still want to wait to get married. Enjoy being pregnant and the road to becoming parents! Keep us updated!
Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Reply


BWFrancie Posts : 70 Registered: 11/11/09
Re: Our little unexpected surprise!!!
Posted: Apr 3, 2010 5:54 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsMartin...

Congrats on your "unexpected surprise". My dear, when I was 19 years old, I also got an unexpected surprise. He is now 23 years old, a college graduate, and is engaged to be married! He is the love of my life. His Father and I did get married right away, and raised him to be one of the best people I know. You have been blessed. Whatever you decide to do for your wedding... is just icing. :)

http://www.bride-whisperer.com

Follow me on Twitter:  http://www.twitter.com/BrideWhispering

Follow my Fan Page on FaceBook:  The Bride Whisperer

Reply


FutureMrsMartin... Posts : 8 Registered: 3/4/10
Re: Our little unexpected surprise!!!
Posted: Apr 5, 2010 12:57 AM Go to message in response to: BWFrancie

Thank you everyone for your advice. My boyfriend and I are still discussing the situation but he's begining to understand my POV. He says he wanted to get married sooner because he wanted the baby, him, and I to have the same last name. Plus he can't wait for me to be his wife. His mom has been telling him that me having a birthday coming up next month, being pregnant, trying to finish this semester in school, & moving up there we have enough going on and that we should wait for everything to settle down a little bit before we get married.
 I Been Diagnosed With Love

Reply


VšnTillBruden Posts : 353 Registered: 1/16/10
Re: Our little unexpected surprise!!!
Posted: Apr 5, 2010 3:59 AM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsMartin...

I agree 110%. The last thing I want to be worrying about when I pick out a wedding dress is "Hmm, will this make my baby bump look obnoxious? If I get it altered now, will it still fit me in six weeks?"

There's nothing wrong with getting married while pregnant. I just think it's unnecessary added stress on you, and the baby, since you're still trying to finish school, and are about to move across the country. You also don't need to be spending money on a wedding when you should be preparing to stock a nursery! Haha. My advice? Wait til after the baby is born, you've settled in up north with your boyfriend, and you guys have gotten into a routine with your day to day life. Then start discussing the idea of a wedding.

Oh, and as far as everybody having the same last name, that's not so big of an issue. When you give birth, and they ask for a name on the birth certificate, you just tell them the baby's father's surname, and that will be the baby's surname as well. Then, when you two get married, you can take his name as well. Or, if you had never planned on taking his name (though I doubt it, as I'm reading your screen name, lol) you could just hyphenate the baby's surname. ex: Sarah Jones-Miller

Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most. (Swedish proverb)

Reply


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Our little unexpected surprise!!!
Posted: Apr 5, 2010 8:14 AM Go to message in response to: VšnTillBruden

VTB is right. You just tell the name and the baby gets the same last name as the father.

 

 

 

Reply


BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: Our little unexpected surprise!!!
Posted: Apr 5, 2010 3:00 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsMartin...

Pregnancy, moving, education, a wedding and preparing for marraige sounds like a lot to handle at the same time!

I'm glad he's starting to see your side of the scenario.

And I was thinking the exact same thing that VTB & Pharm mentionned after reading one of your replies. It sounds like you guys will all have the same last name in the future. You can always just give the baby the last name "Martinez" and then when you get married you can change your surname. As long as you are okay with having a different last name than your baby for a couple of years, you are golden!

Wish you all the best!

Reply


FutureMrsMartin... Posts : 8 Registered: 3/4/10
Re: Our little unexpected surprise!!!
Posted: Apr 8, 2010 11:46 AM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

Thank you everyone for the well wishes and the advice. I have no problem having a different last name from him and the baby for a year or two. He's completely changed his opinion on us getting married before the baby is born. He says he now realizes just how much we have going on and that trying to plan a wedding with everything else would be a very bad idea. I think he was trying to rush the wedding because I've always said I don't just want to be a baby mama, I want to be a wife. So I think he was just trying to make me happy.
 I Been Diagnosed With Love

Reply

jujugirl Posts : 42 Registered: 4/8/10
Re: Our little unexpected surprise!!!
Posted: Apr 8, 2010 2:42 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsMartin...

I'm glad to hear you guys decided to wait. I think it will be better for all of you. As an FYI I leave near the Rochester area and my friend got married at the library in downtown Rochester. It was such a unique and beautiful place if you plan on getting married in Rochester you might want to look at it if you want some place different yet beautiful to get married.

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine