No Flower girl?

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kkress Posts : 3 Registered: 2/13/10
No Flower girl?
Posted: Feb 13, 2010 9:57 PM

We have three boys and we don't have but one niece that is young enough to be a flower girl. I can't use one niece and not the others, so someone proposed the idea of no flower girl. Anyone ever seen this before and if they have, how did the "ring bearers" walk down the isle?

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: No Flower girl?
Posted: Feb 13, 2010 10:28 PM Go to message in response to: kkress

Dear KK,

The only reason the job of flower girl or ring bearer exist is to allow the participation of some little child in your life. If there are no little girls in your life, then no flower girl. You don't go out looking for some tiny female for the job if you don't already have one.

You could have co-ring bearers. I'm going on memory here from your earlier post. Don't you have one boy who's 8 and the other two are younger?

I'd make the 8-year old a junior groomsman, then make the two younger boys co-ring bearers. One carries the bride's ring on a fancy lacy pillow, the other carries the groom's ring on a more masculine pillow.

PS: It's common for the rings on the pillows to be decorative, only. The real rings are safe in adult (BM, MOH) hands.

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: No Flower girl?
Posted: Feb 13, 2010 10:38 PM Go to message in response to: kkress

I would do as aotb suggested, or you could do what my client is doing at her wedding in April (Im a planner.) She also has 3 little boys and no girls, and we are having the boys walk down the aisle enthusiastically ringing bells and announcing the bride. This is an old Italian tradition that I think is super cute and a great replacement for flower girl. Essentially, the flower girl spreads pedals on the aisle for the bride to walk on. It is a way of announcing the brides entrance. A "bell ringer" or group of ringers, rings small bells while announcing "The bride is coming! The bride is coming!" It is really adorable and the three boys could do this together. Its easy, fun, and then they can sit through the rest of the ceremony.

But to answer your original question, no, you do not NEED a flower girl, and yes, I have seen MANY weddings that didnt have one, incliuding my own. We actually had my Nana as a "snowlady" spreading fake snow out of a basket for our Christmas wedding. It was awesome.

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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: No Flower girl?
Posted: Feb 15, 2010 11:13 AM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Kelly, I love the idea of bell-ringers, that is so cute!

OP, I think it's totally fine if you don't have a flowergirl, for the reasons Aunt and Kelly posted. Plus, there is no law that says for a wedding every role has to be filled, only the bride, groom, and officiant.

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: No Flower girl?
Posted: Feb 15, 2010 11:46 AM Go to message in response to: kkress

Honestly, of all the weddings I went to, I think only 1 or 2 had flower girls. And I am only remembering one off the top of my head. And to be honest, they seem like WAY more trouble than they are worth! I think your 3 little boys are plenty and I am loving Kelley's bell-ringing idea.

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

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bosoxgirl Posts : 231 Registered: 2/3/10
Re: No Flower girl?
Posted: Feb 16, 2010 4:23 PM Go to message in response to: kkress

Personally, I'd opt out of having children in my wedding (unless they are your children) I was a flower girl 3 times for my cousins weddings and I remember a bunch of chaos. As children, we just don't listen. I also remember a lot of whining and the adults tried to keep us children occupied....

I'd settle for an adult wedding. LOL

 

  

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: No Flower girl?
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 1:13 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

"You don't go out looking for some tiny female for the job if you don't already have one."

Sure you do Aunt, don't you remember the cross dressing the little boy thread?

In safe adult hands is, to me, pretty funny. My brother did this. Ring bearer didn't actually ahve the ring, adults did. Guess who dropped the ring??? Guess how LOUD that ring was bouncing and rolling across the concrete floor in the museum?? It was hilarious!! Some of the best pictures from the ceremony were from that. It was great! :)

Seriously, OP, you don't need flower girls or ring bearers or attendants for that matter. Your WP can be exactly as you'd like it.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: No Flower girl?
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 1:53 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

Dear Cyndi/Grandma,

"Sure you do Aunt, don't you remember the cross dressing the little boy thread?"

Dang. I forgot. Actually, I used brain bleach to erase the mental image of some poor little boy dressed up like a flower girl who grows up to be a serial killer thanks to childhood trauma.

(How's your little angel doing?)

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: No Flower girl?
Posted: Feb 18, 2010 3:01 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Aunt,

They are doing great! Tristan will be here soon for a couple of hours while his parents go to a movie this afternoon. He is 18 lbs now, just started laughing, and is starting to enjoy his jumpy seat toy they got him. Grinning, cooing, drooling, and kicking and has also discovered his fascinating feet. (he's 4 months now)

Aiden is 7 months now, almost crawling, eats big girl foods from a bowl for lunch, sort of, and LOVES her jumpy seat so much she'll wear herself out in it and fall asleep. She is still pretty much happy all the time, but has started not liking it when people she doesn't know want to pick her up, and she will be over for awhile Saturday night. She is 20 lbs. So, Tristan is nearly as big as her already.

They are such a joy and are growing so fast! I am very lucky to live so close to both of them. Thanks! I always love talking about them both. :)

 Proud Member of P.O.O.P.,  People Offended by Offended People

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SMGray Posts : 84 Registered: 1/2/10
Re: No Flower girl?
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 6:23 PM Go to message in response to: kkress

I have no very little girls in my family. I met my FH's goddaughter/niece before we even started dating, and we have an especially close relationship. She's going to be 12 when we get married, so I'm including her as a junior bridesmaid.

My FH's nephew just had a baby boy in November, so he should be toddling right along by the wedding but we're playing that by ear (FH's family tends to be pretty liberal when it comes to their kids behavior, and we have one of his nephews on video at age 3 calling someone a motherf*cker)- we'd both like to see what's going on with the sweet little guy once he starts talking before we put him in front of my elderly relatives :).

I have a close friend with a daughter the right age, but she also has 6 other children, and I don't know if she's going to bring all of them to the wedding (they're all invited). I don't want to pressure her to bring one child if she can't afford to travel to the wedding with all of her kids.

So, as of yet, we're not involving and flower girls or ring bearers. It doesn't really seem like too big of a deal to me. If we had little kids around, we'd most likely include them.
"And so I come, to be the one, who's always standing close to you."- Van Morrison

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TheBriarPatch Posts : 15 Registered: 3/26/10
Re: No Flower girl?
Posted: Apr 1, 2010 1:16 PM Go to message in response to: kkress

Hello! Am I reading this funny? I read "we don't have but one neice"...and one is all you need for a flower girl. That should not be a problem at all. Please respond if you mean to say you have no neice. If that is the case, then you certainly do not need to "create" a flower girl.

If you are concerned about having only one flower girl and three ring bearers, I think it will work beautifully with two co-ring bearers as another helpful member suggests. And the older boy as a Jr.Groomsman. The flower girl can walk in the middle of your two handsome nephews.

I love the suggestion of the ringing bells from Italy, that is lovely as well.

Good luck!
Pat at www.shopbriarpatch.com

"Cherishing children is the mark of a civilized society" Joan Ganz Cooney


Edited by: TheBriarPatch on Apr 1, 2010 1:16 PM

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: No Flower girl?
Posted: Apr 1, 2010 1:49 PM Go to message in response to: TheBriarPatch

Her point was that they have one niece but three nephews and can't use only one or two without there being an issue with the others being left out.

OP - you have been given plenty of suggestions to mull over. But no, you don't HAVE TO HAVE a FG.

 

 

 

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