Registry Inserts

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Jnikki Posts : 42 Registered: 11/2/08
Re: Registry Inserts
Posted: Mar 29, 2010 6:18 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

So...FYI everyone: This weekend I got fuseed at by my fiance's family for not including inserts. They said that it was making it difficult on guests to find out where we are registered by not including registry inserts. They feel it is "absolutely crazy" for someone to think that just because u include registry inserts means u have to bring a gift. They went on to say thay they don't feel obligated to come if you send an invitation...so why should they feel obligated to bring a gift. So now I feel bad...I guess it was a lose-lose situation. I suggests that u talk to people first before u make the decision to include/not include inserts, especially if you have younger families. They like the convenience of having the information right there. I think its a new day in regards to this.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Registry Inserts
Posted: Mar 29, 2010 6:50 PM Go to message in response to: Jnikki

Dear Nikki,

In my opinion, your fiancé's family shows their lack of class.

1. No, registry inserts are not proper.

2. They have no business fussing at you for anything.

You did the right thing. Hold your head high.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Registry Inserts
Posted: Mar 30, 2010 8:52 AM Go to message in response to: Jnikki

I agree with AOTB. Sure, some people like them, but many others think they're tacky and etiquette says they're a no-no.

BTW, I am under 30 and don't like them, so it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with age.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: Registry Inserts
Posted: Mar 30, 2010 9:27 AM Go to message in response to: Jnikki

Would I do it myself? No.

But I wouldn't think twice if somebody had put in a registry insert. After all, I do always buy a present. I would probably do a little giggle because it would make me think of all the members here who hate it.

But you sent out your invitations--you didn't do the inserts and now you just have to stick with your decision. I do think it was a good one. Don't worry about it.

You can never please everybody.

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08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Registry Inserts
Posted: Mar 30, 2010 10:27 AM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

I really don't see what the big deal is about registry inserts. Where I live, it is totally normal. For those of you who are against them, you would have a fit, because I have received invitations where the couple requests money instead of a gift. Now THAT is tacky.

The way I see a registry insert is this: The couple tells me where they are registered, so I have the option to go there and get them a gift. If I'm in another store and see something nice, I'll get that. I don't feel obligated with registry inserts. And I don't think it's gift grabby either.

Just my personal opinion.

 Lilypie - (8e8A)

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TheeBride Posts : 130 Registered: 1/17/10
Re: Registry Inserts
Posted: Mar 30, 2010 9:12 PM Go to message in response to: 08divabride

Great post! I didn't put inserts in my invitations but I wouldn't look down my hoity toity nose at someone that did...to each their own.

"I carry your heart with me, I carry it in
my heart. I am never without it, anywhere
I go you go, my dear..."

E.E. Cummings

Daisypath Wedding tickers
  

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: Registry Inserts
Posted: Mar 31, 2010 10:29 AM Go to message in response to: Jnikki

Yeah, this kind of stuff happens a lot -- certain people thinking that you "should" do something because it's how they've always done it.

The point is, you thought about it, weighed your options, and did what you were most comfortable with. The fact that they disagree doesn't make them classless, just not appreciative of the thought you put into it.

I don't think that this rule is changing -- I just think there are some that some don't follow it because either 1) they don't know it or 2) don't really care. Personally, I didn't know the "rule", until I came here -- but I never would have done it simply because I don't really like gift information in an invitation. My best friend put gift info on her invite -- saying specifically that she didn't want gifts, and I didn't like that either -- I just don't like being reminded of gift-giving when I get an invite. That's all. (I'm 33, by the way!)

__________________________________________

"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, or insanity, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson

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Jnikki Posts : 42 Registered: 11/2/08
Re: Registry Inserts
Posted: Mar 31, 2010 5:20 PM Go to message in response to: Jnikki

Hello everyone,

Thanks for your responses/support. I don't like the idea of fiance family's showing a lack of class (Auntofthebride), I just think that its their personal preference. Thats a little harsh. I think their reasoning has just as much merit as mine did. Anyway, at first I felt bad and my feelings were a little hurt, but I'm at peace with it, besides the invitations have been sent and recevied, so nothing can be done.

My advice to future brides is this: Who gives a flying monkey what everyone else (including your guests) think? They are invited to your wedding becuase you chose to share your special day with them. While I want everyone to have a good time, the day if for my fiance and I. It is not about the guests, its about us vowing our lives together. They should be happy to be a part of it, if not I'm still going to have a happy marriage. Do what you want to do, its you and ur hubby's day, no one elses, everyone will not be happy, so at least make sure you and your man are.

What God has brought together....let not Man seperate!! Jamie and Bryan 5-22-10

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Registry Inserts
Posted: Mar 31, 2010 6:50 PM Go to message in response to: Jnikki

Dear Nikki,

" Who gives a flying monkey what everyone else (including your guests) think?"

I do when my own time and money is involved.

You can totally do whatever you want. Not my business.

It becomes my business when the invitation hits my mailbox. You are asking me to spend some of my time and my money on you.

Great, wonderful, happy to do it, I like supporting newlywed couples.

But, wait, there's a note.

"We don't want gifts that are trash. We prefer to receive your cash."
"No boxed gifts - cash preferred."
"Here's a list of things we want you to get us."

???

That's where it becomes my business. I am being treated like a human ATM.

Any gift that I might give you is voluntary on my part. If I want to know if you are registered anywhere, I can ask. If I have something else in mind, then I won't ask.

It's not a true Etiquette Felony to include registry cards. It's just better not to do it, then let people take the initiative.

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headoverheels8 Posts : 80 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Registry Inserts
Posted: Mar 31, 2010 11:50 PM Go to message in response to: Jnikki

I didn't have registry inserts in the invite. To me it says "give me gifts!!" when thats not why I'm inviting them. I did have a card in the invite that has our wedding website on it and the wedding website has our registry information on it. So if they want to buy us something they can go look for the registry info but otherwise its not something I'm shoving in their face.

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AudreyLiu Posts : 8 Registered: 4/1/10
Re: Registry Inserts
Posted: Apr 1, 2010 2:30 AM Go to message in response to: Jnikki

I'm totally with AOTB here... I was given inserts when we registered, but they went straight to the trash.

Bottom line is that regardless of whether it's socially acceptable, it's YOUR day. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with.

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Jnikki Posts : 42 Registered: 11/2/08
Re: Registry Inserts
Posted: Apr 1, 2010 7:04 PM Go to message in response to: Jnikki

My only point is (and maybe you should consider this auntofthebride) that a wedding is about the couple and they should be happy. If you feel like your time and money is just that precious and I am asking a lot for you to come, then don't come. I am honored to be invited to friends and family's weddings, its not about me, its about them. And last time I checked the only request that is made is that you attend. No one has registry cards that says please bring a gift. If you take it that way, seems like a personal issue. I just think people forget the real meaning behind weddings. If you remember that its about unity of 2 spirits (whether your a bride, groom, parent, guest, or whatever) then you'll know that the gifts are irrealavent.


What God has brought together....let not Man seperate!! Jamie and Bryan 5-22-10

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Registry Inserts
Posted: Apr 1, 2010 7:10 PM Go to message in response to: Jnikki

dear Nikki,

". If you remember that its about unity of 2 spirits (whether your a bride, groom, parent, guest, or whatever) then you'll know that the gifts are irrealavent. "

Then, why register at all? Why even worry about a pre-selected list of gifts?

Just invite people and hope they can make it.

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Jnikki Posts : 42 Registered: 11/2/08
Re: Registry Inserts
Posted: Apr 5, 2010 2:32 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

You know, that's a great point auntofthebride. Im at the point now that I kind of wish I hadn't, we don't really need anything anyway.

What God has brought together....let not Man seperate!! Jamie and Bryan 5-22-10

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