2 kids each, who is what?

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Davinity Posts : 1 Registered: 1/24/10
2 kids each, who is what?
Posted: Jan 24, 2010 12:05 PM

My FH and I each have 2 kids, 1 boy and 1 girl. Mine will be 7 and 5 on our wedding date and his will be 6 and 4 (the boys are the oldest). I am having trouble deciding if I should just have 2 FG's and 2 RB's, because his children have been FG/RB in 3 weddings already. I don't want to favor any "set" or any one kid more than any other, but I kind of want each of them to have their own little attention position. This is a big day for them too, becoming step siblings, and step kids. We are having an "adults only" ceremony and reception and they will be the only children there, other than my little sister, who will also be 7, so they will definitly get a lot of attention, but I want to make sure that they feel like this is their day too. I don't want it to be just about me and my FH, I want it to be about the 6 of us becoming a family. Any ideas? I'm at a loss. Thanks


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: 2 kids each, who is what?
Posted: Jan 24, 2010 6:04 PM Go to message in response to: Davinity

Dear Davinity,

Here is what I suggest: Just as you said, have two flower girls and two ring bearers.

Just don't put them in identical clothes. Get clothes that fit the personality of each individual kid. At that age, children can be passionate about one particular favorite color. Great. Get that particular favorite color dress for each girl, then similarly get favorite color mini-menswear for the boys.

You could also have a double procession. The groom comes in, with groomsmen and his children. Then, change the music for the bridal procession with bridesmaids and her children. Each child has their own "spot" that way. You and FH each have your own personal flower girl and ring bearer.

(I am the mother of identical twins. I have some experience with promoting individualism.)


SteveandLauri Posts : 12 Registered: 1/4/10
Re: 2 kids each, who is what?
Posted: Jan 25, 2010 2:24 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

First Congrats!! I think it is great your involving the children.

My fiance' and I are also blending families, with each of us having 2 kids. By the time of our wedding, we will have a 13 year old daughter (his), 12 year old son, (his) 11 year old son (mine) and a 9 year old son (mine).

I am having my boys walk me down the isle, and his daughter will be standing up as a junior bridesmaid. She is thrilled to be a part of this, and already refers to things as "our wedding"...

Our invitations are worded with our names as well as with our children's names. We plan to have all the kids standing up with us during the ceremony and having a family medallion ceremony.


TheBriarPatch Posts : 15 Registered: 3/26/10
Re: 2 kids each, who is what?
Posted: Mar 26, 2010 2:23 PM Go to message in response to: Davinity

Hello and congratulations on your soon-to-be bigger family. I agree that it is wonderful to include the children and interpret the ceremony as theirs as well. Very positive and a very happy beginning.

First of all, the girls are a little easier, as you can have two girls scatter petals. But, there is only one ring. This, traditionally, should be the honor of the eldest son. However, you could really take it further and have the oldest boy be the best man and stand with FH at the altar. Then the youngest could present the ring, which would completely and actively involve you all in the actual ceremony. If that is too parting from tradition and not possible. Have the youngest walk down the aisle with the ring. The oldest can wait at the altar on one side of FH. The best man can be on the other side. Then, the youngest can keep the ring until it is needed, and hand it to the oldest, who can hand it to FH. It sort of takes some of the role from the best man, but he is still there for morale support!

If the girls do not wear the same dress or ensemble, do have them in similar color...even if just a sash the same color. I think it is fine to be individual, but the symbolic nature of coming together as the same family should be honored as well....so find unity in color or style (with different shade of color).

If budget is a concern, we offer a special discount code for brides on this forum. Post again to inquire or visit us at www.shopbriarpatch.com.

Good Luck, you are off to a wonderful new beginning....
Pat at www.shopbriarpatch.com

"Cherishing children is the mark of a civilized society" Joan Ganz Cooney


kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: 2 kids each, who is what?
Posted: Mar 26, 2010 4:09 PM Go to message in response to: TheBriarPatch

I think having 2 FGs and 2 RBs is a perfect idea. I believe that both spouses should wear a wedding band so each child can carry a ring. The elder child can carry the bride's band and the younger the groom's. I think it is wonderful that you two want to include the kids, this wedding affects them just as much as it does you and FH.




Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

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