Reception

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augustbride2010 Posts : 7 Registered: 1/17/09
Reception
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 3:10 PM

I need some help making the seating for my reception. I have cousins that range from 20 year olds to about 5 year olds. If I want my reception Adults only, would other families get upset since my older cousins are considered adults and will be there?

~~~Meghan and Pete~~~

08-2010

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hljanes Posts : 57 Registered: 12/31/09
Re: Reception
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 3:29 PM Go to message in response to: augustbride2010

You may have some people upset at the fact that you are having an adults-only reception (though you may not--my FH's family wants an adults-only reception so they have an excuse to leave their kids at home). But if you set an age cutoff of maybe fourteen/sixteen/whatever, people should recognize that it's just an age cutoff and not a segment of the family.

I'd feel a bit awkard personally if one family had an eight-year-old and a sixteen-year-old, inviting just one but not the other, so in that case might invite both, but beyond that, people should understand the distinction.

Heather

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Reception
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 3:48 PM Go to message in response to: augustbride2010

Dear Meghan,

Upset about what? You have an adults only reception and you are inviting adult relatives.

The only reason someone would be "miffed" (not really upset) would be if their child, aged X, was not invited and some other family with a child, aged X, was invited with the child.

"I had to go to the trouble of getting a sitter for Junior, yet here I see other children the same age as Junior, even younger."

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augustbride2010 Posts : 7 Registered: 1/17/09
Re: Reception
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 3:57 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

I understand about somebody being upset about that.

I was thinking about another question related to this. My bridal party would consist of cousins younger than sixteen. If making it an Adult Reception, do I make an exception for them or is it appropriate to take them out of the count.


~~~Meghan and Pete~~~

08-2010

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August28th Posts : 153 Registered: 1/28/09
Re: Reception
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 6:31 PM Go to message in response to: augustbride2010

I got married on 8/28/09! It's a great day to get married.

I think if your cousins are considered adults then they should be invited to an adult only reception. However it matters who considers them adults. Are they 18 and responsible or are they 12 and only considered adults by their parents? That is something to consider.

As far as your under 16 WP members are concerned I definitely think they should be included in the count. They are honoring you by standing up for you during your reception so you should honor them by having them at your reception, that's my opinion. I think most guests would understand that exception, if not, oh well, you can't please everyone! Good luck!!

True love is like a ghost which many talk about but few have ever seen.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Reception
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 7:24 PM Go to message in response to: augustbride2010

Dear Meghan,

In other words, you want to have young people in your wedding party and attend the reception, but not allow other young people the same age to attend the event.

That's .... OK.... sort of. It would depend on the relationship you have with those children.

The problem is that by making your reception Adult Only (which is your right), you also make it more difficult and more expensive for some of your guests. Parents of young children have to make, and pay for, other arrangements for their children. They might have to find overnight accomodations for their kids if they are traveling to your wedding.

If I am the mother of a 12-year old, and I have gone to some trouble to get alternate care for that kid, say with Grandma or a neighbor, and then I attend the wedding and see 12-year olds in the wedding party and at the reception, sure, I'm going to be ticked off. I'd be especially ticked off if my kid is of the same or similar relationship to you as the children in attendance. (All cousins, eg) I'll be even more ticked off if the parents of these children are getting a chance to "show off" their offspring and I just get to sit there and watch, knowing that my Little Darling is even better behaved, better looking, more polite, etc.

You have the perfect right to invite the people you want to invite. However, in the privacy of my own thoughts, I have the right to be ticked off that I had to go to trouble and expense that other parents did not have AND don't get to show off my kid to one and all.

Think, carefully, about who you are including and who you are excluding.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Reception
Posted: Mar 12, 2010 7:26 PM Go to message in response to: augustbride2010

Dear Meghan,

Also: No, you cannot ask someone to be in your wedding party, regardless of their age, then turn around and tell them they cannot attend the reception.

Can you imagine being 14, all dressed up, styled hair and makeup, then watching everyone else go off to a fancy party, while you have to go home and spend the evening with Grandma?

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delmarplatinumb... Posts : 33 Registered: 5/29/09
Re: Reception
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 12:48 AM Go to message in response to: augustbride2010

Why do you want kids on your wedding party but not the reception?

your post is a bit confusing. from what I have seen, its either all or nothing. If you want an adult wedding, it should be 18+, otherwise I dont think it is cool to have younger teens in the bridal party, and yet they cant go to the reception. Or it would be rude to some guests to see there are some kids there but their kids were not allowed

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: Reception
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 4:33 PM Go to message in response to: augustbride2010

I see nothing wrong with having an adult only reception. I for one prefer them, but that's just me I don't like kids. I do see where it would be a problem to have kids in your wedding party but not invite them to the reception. I would not have a problem with the wedding party children attending the reception afterall they are members of the wedding they should be there. I would be upset if some random person was allowed to bring their kid and I couldn't bring mine. Afterall I like my kid it's other people's kids I don't like.

 

 

 

Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

Proud Member of P.O.O.P,  People Offended by Offended People

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Jream Posts : 157 Registered: 7/29/08
Re: Reception
Posted: Mar 14, 2010 6:10 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

I don't do well with kids, so I kind of wanted an adult-only reception, but several family members from out of town had children and couldn't come without bringing them. Plus, before the wedding, during the wedding, and afterward, tons of people were telling me they were so happy that the kids could come--after all, it's a family celebration.

I think people with kids will feel snubbed, though they may not act like it. Apparently one little girl was cooing and crying during the ceremony. I didn't notice, and no one but the parents really did either. If there are a ton of kids in your combined families or if the kids are poorly behaved, I can understand not really inviting them. But if it's just a few, and you're having all these doubts about your bridal party, I would consider just inviting them all anyway.


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