bridal shower dilemma

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StephanieMay10 Posts : 11 Registered: 12/22/08
bridal shower dilemma
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 2:24 AM

My wedding is on May 28 and no one has offered to throw a bridal shower for me what should I do? I know this is not something that I am entitled too, but I think every bride hopes for one. Is there something I should be saying or doing?

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VšnTillBruden Posts : 353 Registered: 1/16/10
Re: bridal shower dilemma
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 7:34 AM Go to message in response to: StephanieMay10

I'm afraid to say there isn't much you can do. Actually, I take that back. There isn't much you can do, unless you're willing to become a rude "bridezilla". If you want to go the rude route, you can start asking around your inner circle why no one has bothered to offer you the bridal shower. But since you've noted that you're aware you aren't entitled to the party, I think it's safe to say you don't want to be "that bride". And thank you for at least being honest in saying that you want one. It's true, a lot of brides do hope for a bridal shower, and when no one starts offering to throw one for you, that's a sad feeling.

Is it possible one of your bridesmaids/friends/relatives could be planning one without your knowledge? I went to a surprise bridal party when I was thirteen or fourteen, and if I recall correctly, it was held about two weeks before the wedding. I know it's not common, and it's a long shot, but it could be a possibility.

However, I don't want to instill false hope in you. It looks like no one is throwing you one. The only thing you can really do in this scenario is to keep your mouth shut, and swallow your pride. And, if someone asks you at your wedding about how your bridal shower went/what you recieved, you can simply say "I didn't have one."

Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most. (Swedish proverb)

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: bridal shower dilemma
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 8:58 AM Go to message in response to: StephanieMay10

Hi... just so you know. I was a second time bride. but for this wedding, I had my first bridal shower. I didn't have one last time. But Van is right. There really is no way to ask without sounding wrong. And if they ARE planning a surprise, they are not going to give it away. Here's hoping you get a surprise shower. But hugs if you do not.

Misty

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scdscs Posts : 2 Registered: 12/8/09
Re: bridal shower dilemma
Posted: Apr 8, 2010 3:30 PM Go to message in response to: StephanieMay10

Hello People!!! I could not disagree more with the previous posts. Of course there is some thing you can do. There is ALWAYS something that you can do. If you are really hoping that someone plans it for you, you can always drop subtle hints. You can say things to your closest like "I'm not sure who is going to be throwing my bridal shower". For another option you can always take the direct approach and ask particular people if they are throwing one for you. Tell them that you need to know so that if they are not someone else will be free to.Find ways to drop it into regular conversation like when they bring up something about your wedding. I don't think that hints to what you want make you a bridzilla. I think that it is all in your approach.

If this does not suit you or you did not get the response you would like, throw one for yourself. At the end of the day it is about having special time with your friends not who put it all together.

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VšnTillBruden Posts : 353 Registered: 1/16/10
Re: bridal shower dilemma
Posted: Apr 8, 2010 3:45 PM Go to message in response to: scdscs

Okay, from an etiquette standpoint, you are so off base, you're practically on Mars.

I really hope AOTB doesn't read this, otherwise you're in for an earfull.

Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most. (Swedish proverb)

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: bridal shower dilemma
Posted: Apr 8, 2010 6:09 PM Go to message in response to: scdscs

Oh good grief. Throw one for yourself, it is about special time with your friends. really??? well, then I hope this is one of those showers wehre the guests don't bring gifts. Oh, then it wouldn't be a shower? hm...Hosting your own shower is rude. Demanding or asking others to host your shower, also rude. If you want to be rude, then go for it.

 Proud Member of P.O.O.P.,  People Offended by Offended People

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MimiEsquivia Posts : 1 Registered: 2/16/10
Re: bridal shower dilemma
Posted: Apr 9, 2010 11:23 PM Go to message in response to: StephanieMay10

I think a good way to ask without doing so yourself is see if your mom or sisters (if any) will ask your bridesmaids or friends if they are planning on having a shower for you.

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alymar Posts : 100 Registered: 3/2/10
Re: bridal shower dilemma
Posted: Apr 10, 2010 2:18 PM Go to message in response to: MimiEsquivia

You never know what may be happening behind the scenes... but if anything start planning your bachlorette party with the your bridesmaids! Maybe that will put a reminder about a shower in someone's mind.
Friendship is a wonderful base for love...
When is my wedding
Wedding Ticker from WhenIsMyWedding.com

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scdscs Posts : 2 Registered: 12/8/09
Re: bridal shower dilemma
Posted: Apr 12, 2010 9:49 PM Go to message in response to: alymar

I guess that I am just more open and with my close friends. They came to me a straight out asked what I wanted and I was not afraid to tell them. I'm not expecting some huge deal, and neither should you, but if you can't be honest with your best friends, who can you be? Everyone gets so caught up in every step being this picture perfect event. The problem is that you can not control what other people are going to do. So why give up on what you want because someone didn't realize that it was there place to through a shower. Not everyone was given the bride maids etiquette book at birth. Some might even appreciate no having the entire burden on them.


If you really don't think that the real purpose is to have some good quality girl time then I feel sorry for your friends.

Whatever you decide or whatever happens, have fun with it. Life is to short to sweat the small stuff.

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jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: bridal shower dilemma
Posted: Dec 5, 2012 8:05 AM Go to message in response to: StephanieMay10

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