Ok, so I am getting married next april 2011. I just got engaged about 3 or so weeks ago and didnt have any idea how much a wedding would really cost. Both my fiance and i want something simple and cheap. Hes been married before, but he never had a wedding or anything like that, just the court house. Thank god :) im weird about that, I really wanted this to be something special and new for each of us and it wouldnt have been the same if he had already done it before you know? But anyways, off topic.

I have 5000 to spend total. Honeymoon, wedding, reception, you name it thats all I have. My dad was sweet enough to give that to us as out wedding gift. We are both in our early 20s and so we dont want to start off a marriage in debt so we are going to keep to that budget. But the more and more I seach around and get quotes, the more i am getting freaked out!

My idea is to rent a beach house, right on the water, have the ceremony on the sand, and the reception at the house. I have looked at houses and found one that I may be able to afford. It is 2600 for a weekly rental. It has 8 bedrooms, so my idea for cost effectiveness is to rent out the rooms to family and help that save the budget. So, with everyone helping with that the house would be about 1000 out of the budget. That now leaves my dress(yikes!), cake(may have to make it ourselves), table and chair rentals(got a quote for about 250 for the amount of ppl i have) a dj, photographer(help me lord), food, (i was thinking of doing a buffet/cocktail hour style to minimize cost), invitations(found some at walmart so that saves money haha) linens - my mom is making them, centerpieces - my step mom is buying them, hair dresser, flowers...i dont need much just the bouquets and maybe some at the ceremony. SO yah...im freaking out! Not to mention i have to add the honeymoon into all this. Which is probably going to be half the budget.

If anyone has any money saving ideas, or knows of people who live near the outerbanks nc and can cut us a deal lol, please let me know!!!
thank you all so much for listening to me rant :)

"Ever thine, Ever mine, Ever Ours"

 4-23-2011

Thank you for the reply!
The reason I was looking at the house is because Shane and I currently live in nc but we will be moving to kentucky in a couple months. we both wanted a beach wedding and my dads side of the family lives in nc, so we figured nc beach it was! my moms side of the family lives in california, so the house was a good option because it would be somewhere they could stay. I already have all of the rooms reserved for my family, most from california, because its so much cheaper then staying in a hotel. so the house would only end up being 1000 out of the budget, and that would be cheaper than staying in a hotel for a couple days before hand, and i would get to be with my family all together :)

"Ever thine, Ever mine, Ever Ours"

 4-23-2011

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For the cake don't under estimate the local grocery store. The one I picked did a great job with the cake and it wasn't to expensive. My grocery store even gave me the option if I wanted to have them set it up or set it up myself.

For food you could consider a taco bar. My sister did that. It worked out very well and wasn't that expensive.

Watch for sales at local craft stores.

Don't overlook formal sales at department stores when getting your dress.

thank you all so much for your helpful ideas! I just got scared because i looked at the prices for the hotels around us and it was sooo expensive for the food and drinks that i want. ill take another look at it, but im not sure its going to be the right price. however you do have a very valid point with the money situation. shane said the same thing about the honeymoon, but i have already down graded from wanting to go to italy to maybe somewhere nearby thats cheap. im not sure yet, i just really want a honeymoon. its important to me. I know how we are financially and we prob wont go anywhere nice for a while so i wanted to do it now. lol. but i will do some more looking around and see how much things are for the hotel. i just got overwhelmed with the idea of adding this and that, and the wedding will prob have 50 or so people, less than more.

"Ever thine, Ever mine, Ever Ours"

 4-23-2011

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Gah - I just typed out a long, thoughtful reply, but my kitten pulled the internet cable out of the back of my computer before I hit reply and I ended up losing the whole thing! Bad kitty!

Anyway, my point was that you need to drop your 'ideal wedding and honeymoon' scenario and come live in the real world. I understand wanting a honeymoon and I think you should take one - more on that later - but what you're talking about isn't reasonable with the money you have. And unless you have a money tree in your backyard (and please let me come live with you if you do!), you're not magically going to come up with more before your wedding.

You have three choices:

1) Have a very simple wedding (I'm talking a few people, an officiant, and dinner afterwards at a restaurant for a couple hundred bucks tops) and spend the 5K that you have on your trip to Italy. You'll need all of your money for a decent trip to Italy.

2) Divide your money in half and spent half on the wedding and half on the honeymoon. Forget the beach house and the trip to Italy, because you don't have money for either one. We're talking about a modest wedding with a small group and then a couple days at a resort.

3) Spend the 5K on your wedding. Try to do what you've planned, or find a private room at a restaurant (usually a great deal). Then spend a few hundred bucks on a couple days in a domestic location that you can drive to (or get a cheap flight to). There are some AWESOME travel deals available if you're flexible about where you go. I just booked a 4-day cruise for next month for about $600 for the two of us, including airfare. We'll spend more on incidentals, but you can't beat that for airfare and 3 nights accomodations!

I understand why you want to have a fabulous trip for your honeymoon. Believe me, I had trouble letting go of the idea, myself - but I'm SO GLAD that I did. We've taken several great trips since we've been married. Having had a wonderful wedding and several honeymoonish trips, I wouldn't trade the wedding for a trip.

That said, definitely have some sort of honeymoon. You need at least a few days to relax together after the wedding and enjoy one another's company. I couldn't imagine getting married on Sat and going back to work on Mon, as if nothing was different! But you can have that just as easily in the next town for a couple hundred bucks as you could in Italy for several thousand. And personally, we did not want to do much of anything on our honeymoon. Well, I mean we didn't want to leave the hotel much, so a fabulous destination would have really been a waste for us. Better to do the cool trip some other time, when we'd feel like leaving the hotel once in a while. But that's me. I know that when I'm in Europe, I'm running about a hundred miles an hour, excited to see everything. On our honeymoon, I didn't care what was outside the hotel. I just wanted to unwind and spend some time with my new husband. My advice is to save Italy for another time. You might not think you'll have money to travel anytime soon, but you're young. Remember that your salaries will increase as you gain experience and get promoted or find better jobs. It might be more attainable in a couple years than it seems now. I'd plan on doing it that way.

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

You're going through what many other brides go through, even those with much larger budgets than yours. There is a major disconnect between what you dream about and what your bank account can handle. So, as Aunt says, get real. First of all, if you know next to nothing about what things cost, then do your homework--you have plenty of time. Bookstores and websites are just loaded with information about how to have a lovely wedding on a budget. Check vendors and websites, gather your information. Right now, your thinking is very traditional (but your budget isn't!) For example, you mention a DJ--what about an iPod? Hairdresser--can you do your own, especially at the beach? Wedding dress--for a beach wedding, there are lovely, informal, "destination" type dresses available for a couple of hundred dollars, if not less, and they suit the occasion. The biggest single thing you can do to cut your expenses is to cut the guest list--so, really think though inviting anyone other than closest family and friends, especially if they are out of town.If you have a small wedding, there's nothing to stop you from having some sort of family reunion party later on, or from visiting the CA relatives after the wedding and having a small gathering there.

Frankly, if it were me (and I know, it's not!), I would have a simple, small wedding and go on a trip to Italy. Or, as Art said, have your wedding and take a vacation later (actually, I did this, not because of money, but because we moved across country two days after the wedding). The idea is to open up your thinking to possibilities other than the traditional wedding with every single thing included. You still can have a fun, memorable occasion, and most of all, it will be unique.
myra@classysassyweddings.com

2600.00 for a beach house? Yikes! Like everyone said before me, I wouldn't commit and I would keep searching for a venue. Did you check with the owner of the house to make sure you could have your ceremony/reception there? Some rental property owners may not allow it due to insurance purposes. Just something to keep in mind.

I'd honestly search for a banquet room or restaurant. I read somewhere that 60% of your budget is supposed to go towards your reception (that would include food, drink, hall rental, reception decor) and that is $3000.00 of your budget. I think if you are shelling out close to three grand for a reception, food, drink, tables, chairs, linens and service should be included. If you shell that money out for a house, you are just paying for the house. Food and amenities are separate. You would already be over your budget.

Honeymoon would be the furthest from my mind at this point. Like Art said, it is just a vacation and you can take a vacation any time.

If you are stressing out over your budget, maybe you should wait or have something smaller. There is nothing wrong with having immediate family and a few close friends watch you get married on the beach and then attend a beautiful dinner afterwards. Splurge on a photographer to capture your day. Sometimes, you need to work with what you have.

Just remember, getting married only takes an officiant, a willing bride, a willing groom, two witnesses and a marriage license. Everything else is just extra!

I am not so sure I agree with everyone about foregoing your honeymoon. Sure, you can "downgrade" but, for me personally, I view it as really special. Sure, you can take vacations whenever, but you really only get one "official" honeymoon.

I do agree that it doesn't have to be a $5K trip to italy. And I agree 100% with Art about being in Europe, or a foreign country and running around like the Griswalds at the Louvre. I didn't picture my honeymoon that way but I did picture it pretty luxurious and it was. And we charged it--oh well. We paid it off so whatever.

I think in your situation you shouild think about saving your own money for the next year (or longer). You can save A LOT in a year. Open an ING account and accumulate interest and you can save even more then just the regular bank. Do you HAVE To get married next April? Can you push it back a few months? Or if you book through a travel agent, you can put deposits down and pay it little by little. Or put it on a credit card (something reasonable, not $5K) and pay it off by honeymoon time--sorta like a layaway. (I know I am gonna get crap for saying that, but oh well--I do it all the time, and I am still alive and my credit is in excellent standing)

At the risk of sounding like my nerdy DH, make a spreadsheet. Play with the numbers. Figure out if you pur $X away each month you will have $X by this date. Then research, research research. It takes A LOT of work for any bride to plan a wedding with the money she/he has.

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