People are sooooo rude!!!!

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zoe1983 Posts : 115 Registered: 4/8/09
People are sooooo rude!!!!
Posted: Mar 4, 2010 9:11 PM

I am not a stickler for etiquette. By this I mean that I always try to follow correct etiquette but that it usually doesn't bother me when others stray a bit. Example: I always send thank you cards but I would not be upset if someone did not send one to me. I probably wouldn't even notice lol

So I thought I was pretty laid back on etiquette but now I am about to scream!! What is it with people asking my fiance and I if they are invited to the wedding?!?!?! Some are even saying "we are invited to the wedding right?" or "why aren't you inviting us??"

Now maybe I am just extra sensitive because we are really dealing with a space crunch at our venue and every single invite counts. Still.....I cannot even IMAGINE asking someone if I was invited to their wedding, let alone bugging them if they said I wasn't!

Its nothing personal! Our venue holds 100 people....thats it!! I cannot begin to fathom why some coworkers that I met four months ago would assume they were invited to my wedding. They even had the nerve to complain to me when I told them that we had to keep the numbers down and that they weren't invited!

Now comes the last straw! My fiance got a new boss about four months ago and he really likes the guy. We were not planning on inviting his old boss and I just assumed we wouldn't be inviting this guy either since I had never even met him and my fiance hadn't known him long. So of course today he says to my fiance "I am invited to your wedding right???"

Is it just me or is this just incredibly rude!!!!!!! I am sure that part of this is just the stress of the wedding getting to me but I just had to vent. Thanks to anyone that listened!!!!

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: People are sooooo rude!!!!
Posted: Mar 4, 2010 10:04 PM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

Dear Zoe,

Some poeple think it's a compliment to invite themselves to your event. "Hmm.. they are probably to shy to invite me, so I'll let them know that I want to come."

Yeah, right.

The best thing you can do is say "Our guest list is not yet finalized.", then drop the subject.

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mrscreamer2be Posts : 153 Registered: 6/14/09
Re: People are sooooo rude!!!!
Posted: Mar 4, 2010 10:19 PM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

It's very frustrating!

Just 20 minutes ago, my FH came into the room and told me that his brother told him, that some friends made a comment about them not being invited to the wedding. It wasn't a rude comment, but now we have an awkward situation. They are more of acquaintances to us. We don't have endless amounts of money and quiet frankly, I don't want to look back 10 years from now and not even have a relationship with half of the people at our wedding. We picked our guestlist very carefully. The guestlist was probably the hardest part of the planning process. So now, we are contemplating whether or not to invite them. It's awkward and I don't get why people do this.

Sorry I don't have an answer :). I'm just a little frustrated as well. I'm very sick and it's 2 weeks before the wedding!

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: People are sooooo rude!!!!
Posted: Mar 4, 2010 11:24 PM Go to message in response to: mrscreamer2be

Dear Mrs C,

You're two weeks out and people are inviting themselves? Whoa, don't they realize the ACTUAL invitations to ACTUAL guests were mailed out weeks ago?

FH need only say "Dude, the invitations are already mailed. If you didn't get one, you ain't invited."

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mrscreamer2be Posts : 153 Registered: 6/14/09
Re: People are sooooo rude!!!!
Posted: Mar 4, 2010 11:54 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

LMAO!!

Thanks
I needed a laugh.

We didn't have an A or B list. We just have a list. Like Zoe, I'm not the best at etiquette either. I've learned a lot from the forums here. Years ago, I got invited to a close friend of mine's wedding. I was seriously dating FH (boyfriend at the time). This was the first time, I as an adult had been invited to a formal wedding and I was invited by myself. I didn't know what the proper etiquette was, but I had common sense. I never asked my friend if I could bring boyfriend along or anything. I just showed up, brought a gift, and thanked them for inviting me. Sorry I'm a little off subject, I'm just trying to make a point. I knew that if they didn't put it on their invitation, I was the only person invited. People sometimes just don't get it. If it were me - I wouldn't want a wedding invitation- if I had to ask for one.

Edited by: mrscreamer2be on Mar 5, 2010 1:11 AM

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Colelle Posts : 48 Registered: 6/21/09
Re: People are sooooo rude!!!!
Posted: Mar 5, 2010 1:46 AM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

Lol. I told a close friend that had moved away (we had drifted apart but have been reconnecting) about my wedding and how I wanted her to come (I haven't done the invites yet). She facebooks me today asking me if she can bring her 2 cousins I haven't met plus a girl that has always hated me. So 3 extra people! Um...who invites extra people to party with (and thats why she was inviting them) to a wedding? Plus someone that I hate? Our guest list is pretty tight at the moment, so no way in heck that would work, plus I don't want people there I have never met. She wanted to know how much alcohol we were having. -eye roll-

It gave me a good laugh though haha. People are just awkward like that. Definitely don't invite extras that you weren't intending, because that gives a chance for it to snowball and have those people want extras, or other people will want to come still and will say its not fair, etc. Stick to your guns!

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: People are sooooo rude!!!!
Posted: Mar 5, 2010 8:01 AM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

It is terribly rude. And I also wonder why people actually ask for invitations to weddings when they aren't close to the person. I mean, why would your FH's new boss want to come to your wedding? That is sort of weird to me. Maybe he likes wedding cake? But if you don't invite him, your FH may end up working in the mail room! YIKES!

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

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starfish701 Posts : 465 Registered: 12/10/08
Re: People are sooooo rude!!!!
Posted: Mar 5, 2010 8:27 AM Go to message in response to: FrancieElaine

Arg this also drives me crazy! When FH and i where first engaged with woman who we only know from running into her at our favorite restaurant and who I cannot stand told me, not asked, told me she was going with me to pick out my wedding dress. They she got all huffy about not being invited. Its like lady I do not even know your last name!

A few of our neighbors, who we rarely ever socialize with where outside digging out thier cars while I shoveled the side walk after the big snow storm. These grown men where actually pouting about not being invited. Really?
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loislaneisabrid... Posts : 51 Registered: 2/22/07
Re: People are sooooo rude!!!!
Posted: Mar 5, 2010 8:36 AM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

I could have written your post OP.

I posted something on Facebook about getting our invites ready and two coworkers were like, "Am I invited? LOL" I wanted to say, "Uh, no...LOL".

I think it is incredibly rude to ask if they are invited. If you get an invitation, you get one. If you don't, well...hmm what does that mean?!

I am inviting some coworkers but I am close with them. I work with about 100 people so I certainly am not going to invite every single one. One of my coworkers got married last year and I wasn't invited. I did get them a gift because they are nice people. Now they are invited to my wedding.

I don't know why people get pissy about not being invited to a coworkers' wedding. It's immature.

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: People are sooooo rude!!!!
Posted: Mar 5, 2010 9:30 AM Go to message in response to: loislaneisabrid...

Raising hand

We had people assuming or asking if they were invited, too. Very frustrating!

I just really don't get it. Not only is it rude and awkward (really? People don't realize what kind of position they're putting you in when they ask about an invitation?), but personally, I wouldn't care or want to attend the wedding of somebody I didn't care about. Who are these people that like to attend the weddings of near strangers?

Really, really don't get it.


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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: People are sooooo rude!!!!
Posted: Mar 5, 2010 10:32 AM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

Ladies,

On the flip side: It was bizarre, but we got invited to the wedding of a son of a co-worker! We did not even know the guy! When his mother's car broke down, he would give her a ride and drop her off in the parking lot, other than that I never laid eyes on the man until his wedding.

The co-worker was not the "sociable" type. She just liked to stay in with her husband. My best guess is that the bride's family had a huge list and gave the groom's family the same number of seats. So, how to fill those seats? Invite co-workers and spouses.

Even weirder: Bride's mother had a beautiful dress. Groom's mother? Polyester black pants and an un-tucked-in cotton blouse.

I never got a thank you note from the couple. Oh well. It's not like I would ever recognize them if I saw them on the street.

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AmyJustin2010 Posts : 201 Registered: 1/18/10
Re: People are sooooo rude!!!!
Posted: Mar 5, 2010 10:48 AM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

This drives me nuts too! I had people that I haven't seen in over a year ask if they were invited. I just say that the venue has space constraints. It's not a lie, mine really has space constraints too.
The nerve of some people...

AmyJustin2010.Weebly.Com

 

Amy & Justin--Buffalo Sabres Fanatics :) 

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: People are sooooo rude!!!!
Posted: Mar 5, 2010 2:26 PM Go to message in response to: zoe1983

Believe it or not, there are people who crash funerals. I swear! There are people who actually go to funerals of people they don't know to socialize and eat free food. I kid you not. Now that is crazy weird. And sort of sad.

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

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BriansAzBride Posts : 326 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: People are sooooo rude!!!!
Posted: Mar 8, 2010 11:23 PM Go to message in response to: FrancieElaine

I got my invites out and was so excited to get my RSVP's back. I was diligently watching each and everyone just like Aunt told so many to do. Well one came in and she had written her 4 children in on the card. Um, no. So I called and calmly explained that no children were being invited and that I understood if she couldn't make it. She apologized for making such a horrible mistake. I was very proud... and then...

I got a rsvp this morning from a friend of my mothers. She wrote in her child and said child's HUSBAND!! Her daughter is in her 40's. Really? Did she honestly think I wrote the invitation to said recipient and just forgot her 40-something daughter and husband? I think not. Who does that?

 

 

 

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alymar Posts : 100 Registered: 3/2/10
Re: People are sooooo rude!!!!
Posted: Mar 8, 2010 11:36 PM Go to message in response to: BriansAzBride

Had a guy from high school ask me this last night... 1 - I barely talked to the guy in high school 2 - we graduated 17 years ago

I just told him - we are going to have a very small wedding but I would send him an invite for the reception that will be happening in LA, he lives in Atlanta.

I think it is incredibly rude for people to ask if they were being invited to the wedding and then get pissed when they aren't. Especially if you do not have a social life with them outside of work and do not know them very well.
Friendship is a wonderful base for love...
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