Different bedrooms :(

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: Different bedrooms :(
Posted: Jan 25, 2010 9:37 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

I remember I used to push myself against the wall and stick pillows around my ears, play soft music on my ipod (but I always get nervous about falling asleep with headphones on)--I never thought I would get used to the snoring. Then--I started having trouble falling asleep without the snoring! Now, I rarely notice when he snores.

Luckily I am usually the one that falls asleep first.

Don't worry about what other people think.

Honestly, if I saw two double beds in a bedroom or I heard that a couple had separate bedrooms--yes, I may be a little surprised--my eyebrows may raise a little bit. I would probably be a little curious. But ultimately, I wouldn't care.

I wouldn't worry about what other people think.

Everybody has their reasons for doing what they do.


Mushaboo Posts : 2,165 Registered: 3/22/08
Re: Different bedrooms :(
Posted: Jan 25, 2010 10:18 PM Go to message in response to: Jade1107

Not uncommon. During my work week, Monday thru Thurs, DH and I sleep in sep bedrooms. It's 80% on purpose. I work 8-4. He works 2pm to 12 am. Naturally, he stays up till 1 or 2 in the morning so he's in the guest room or living room. If he falls asleep out there, then I sleep by myself. If he doesn't then he comes into our room to sleep. He snores. I have to fall asleep first. So, basically we're only sleeping together 2 or 3 nights a week.

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Jade1107 Posts : 205 Registered: 9/1/07
Re: Different bedrooms :(
Posted: Jan 26, 2010 5:28 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

I'm not sure if I'm happy that I'm not the only person who has a separate bedroom - I wouldn't wish snoring on anyone!

It seems like I'm certainly not alone and I am very greatful that we have a two bedroom apartment. I do kind of wish that I could become used the snoring but I've been a light-fall-asleeper since I was a kid.

Anyways, it really is no one's business why I have a separate bedroom. So long as I can sleep, everyone's happy! My shift is 7-3, his can be night shift or later day shift. It just doesn't work to have one bed.

Question about those candles - do you keep them burning while you're sleeping or do you light them 1/2 before and then blow them out before lights out?


CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Different bedrooms :(
Posted: Jan 26, 2010 7:08 PM Go to message in response to: Jade1107

it depends on the snorer. I know some people can light them a couple hours before bed and blow them out before they go to bed. That does NOT work with my DH so I keep it burning all night long. We put it in our bathroom. I've also put little feet on the bottom of the glass jar so air will circulate under the jar.



Waleska Posts : 8 Registered: 2/19/10
Re: Different bedrooms :(
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 9:14 PM Go to message in response to: Jade1107

I known about two couples that slept in seperate rooms. Nothing good really came out it. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal. But it's a form of communication and bonding when you're together. I think it's very important. But hey whatever works for you two.... I just don't recommend it.
Ms. Wes.... Happiness is what I long for!


CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Different bedrooms :(
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 9:54 PM Go to message in response to: CatStandish

Cat you have snoring candles?! How much are they? My FH snores at times and I hate it! Usually he snores after a long day at work or if he has had a drink or two. Sometimes he breathes heavy and that drives me nuts! I breathe heavy too at times. Do the candles help you get sleepy? Because sometimes I have such a hard time falling asleep and I hate it! I can be sooo tired but yet I can't fall asleep.


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JennfromFolsom Posts : 34 Registered: 3/6/09
Re: Different bedrooms :(
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 11:52 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

I definitely feel your pain! I wish we had separate bedrooms, my new hubby gets so insulted by the thought of it, but what does he care he's sleeping just fine. He snores logs and I cannot fall alseep and then at night if I wake up, I have to tell him to turn over so I don't have to hear it to be able to go back to sleep. I do sleep with a small fan next to my bed on the floor (on the nightstand in the summer) and I have found a good pair of earplugs, but only use one of them in the ear not facing the pillow and when I turn over, I actually MOVE my earplug! Unless I'm in REM and then sometimes I forget to take it out and put it in the other ear. CRAZINESS. I've been laid off from my job though and we only lived together for 3 months before the wedding, once I have to get up at 6:00 a.m., the guest room with my old comfy bed may become my room again! The whole issue of snoring is SO insane. Some days I'm fine, some days I'm not, I don't get why I even have to deal with it.

                                                       Jenn & Dave

                                       Married 10/4/09 Forest Hill, CA


bosoxgirl Posts : 231 Registered: 2/3/10
Re: Different bedrooms :(
Posted: Feb 23, 2010 2:16 PM Go to message in response to: Jade1107


I am very glad you brought this up.

My FH has trouble sleeping at night. He takes prescription Ambien to help him sleep but nothing works. He usually stays up until 3 am until he becomes tired but then sometimes has to be up by 6:00 am for work at 7 am. He gets very moody when he can't sleep. He seems to be ok whenever we go away together. I never hear him get up in the middle of the night to go do something else. I am just worried when the time does come to move out, it will become a problem.

My parents sleep in seperate bedrooms for a few reasons. The fact that my father has horrible snoring is one of them. The fact that they really try to tolerate each other is another one. Married for 38 years but my father has bad habits that he wont break....

Although, I think having sex in seperate rooms would be interesting and a bit fun. Like the invitation to get it on... "So... you want to come by my room for some fun tonight?" LOL



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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: Different bedrooms :(
Posted: Feb 23, 2010 2:46 PM Go to message in response to: Jade1107

I don't think it is so strange. I am not a good sleeper. I am just one of those who really struggles to sleep. Even with medication, I toss, turn, and have very vivid dreams that leave me exhausted. I am always concerned my thrashing about will keep my DH awake, and he has to get up early for work. Sometimes it is easier for me to go into the guest room. I seem to relax more (not worrying about keeping him awake) and I sleep better. My DH, however, does not like this. He wants me with him and insists I don't keep him awake. Some nights I do fine in our bed, but other nights I wander off and sleep in another room. :)

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer






Jade1107 Posts : 205 Registered: 9/1/07
Re: Different bedrooms :(
Posted: Feb 23, 2010 5:34 PM Go to message in response to: FrancieElaine

Waleska - It's not that I want to have separate bedrooms - hence the post. I simply cannot sleep in the same room as him when our schedules are so different AND he snores. Honestly, I don't know what's going to happen in the future - maybe we will eventually share one room. What I do know is that right now, my sleep is important and if I don't get it, I'm not a happy camper. It's not ideal, but it has to do for now.

I wish there were super earplugs that blocked out all noise. Period. I suppose if our fire alarm went off, I wouldn't hear it. But, I'd be able to fall asleep!! Once I fall asleep, I can stay asleep. It's the falling asleep part that I have a hard time with. FH can fall asleep on a dime and he starts to snore almost immediately. Of course, then I cannot fall asleep. I'm hesitant to take sleeping pills but some days I just wish my brain would turn off and that I could fall asleep as soon as I hit the pillow!


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