I agree with asking your close family for help, also. I think it's perfectly fine to ask your Aunt Sally if she wouldnt mind making a tray of her homemade baked ziti or your Uncle Ray to make a batch of his homemade BBQ sauce... but asking everyone bring a dish is very tacky. I do, however, think that the hosts should provide the abundance of the food and close family members (if they agree to cook) could help provide a dish here and there (cookies...dipping sauce...appetizer)
I'm sorry some people have been so rude to you. I certainly don't think it's necessary.
Like you probably are, I'm from a small Midwest town where people wear jeans and t-shirts to weddings without giving it a second thought and know little to more likely nothing about ettiquette. This just to say, if I were to have a potluck reception and included it in my invitations, I'd say maybe 10 percent of my guests would even think twice about it, and everyone else would gladly participate. In the situations where the aunt has already bought the couple a gift, I'm sure she'd be happy to give it anyway, either brought to the wedding or a shower or to their residence.
Do what's right for you and your family and friends. There are no rules, only guidelines.
Nobody was being rude to her. They were all just stating that it's not proper to have ALL the guests bring in food. We were giving her ideas and suggestions as to how to have her wedding not appear so tacky. We suggested to her to have only her CLOSE family cook instead of having every single guest slave over a stove. But oh well, it's HER wedding and she will do what she wants.