HELP!!! Advise PLEASE

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JerseyGirlVA Posts : 311 Registered: 9/17/09
Re: HELP!!! Advise PLEASE
Posted: Jan 27, 2010 2:15 PM Go to message in response to: chfsgrl

Exactly. You, of all people, should not be feeling a bit of guilt.

I'm impressed with the way he responded to your 'blow up'. We all lose our tempers here and there, especially when this has been manifesting for so long. BUT once again, I'm glad that he handled the conversation the way that he did. I'm sure that was reassuring to you as well.

When he gets back from his business trip, he is going to tell his sister that she has got to go right? I think that if you were involved in this conversation, it'd effect you negatively down the road. Let him handle his sister. I overstepped my boundary with my FMIL (before she became my FMIL) & things have never been the same between us. She walks all over her son & I felt that I had to stand up for us. While it felt amazing to stand up to her, it felt awful knowing that if I just had a little more patience, she would've eventually understood what my FH was saying & complied.

Goodluck- you should be proud of yourself (and your man) for stepping up to the plate & doing what is right.

"Have I Told You Lately that I love you? Have I told you there's no one else above you? Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness, Ease my troubles, that's what you do." -Rod Stewart

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chfsgrl Posts : 36 Registered: 1/6/10
Re: HELP!!! Advise PLEASE
Posted: Jan 29, 2010 3:36 PM Go to message in response to: JerseyGirlVA

He will be talking to her. He was the one that invited her so long ago....he can ask her to leave. I think if he wants me there, for support, I may comply. But I will not be asking her to leave. This is HIS MESS


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chfsgrl Posts : 36 Registered: 1/6/10
Re: HELP!!! Advise PLEASE
Posted: Feb 2, 2010 9:10 PM Go to message in response to: chfsgrl

OK girls, I need someone to talk some sense into me...this woman leaves her dishes, that I WASH, in the drainer for months at a time...silverware and such... FINALLY today I took them out of the drainer and put them on the table thinking that she would out her things away. When she got home from work she noticed them there, after telling my 3 year old not to touch them, and then went to bed....I 'm ready to throw then in the trash....But I don't want to be "the asshole" here. Ya know?? I want her to bury herself.


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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: HELP!!! Advise PLEASE
Posted: Feb 2, 2010 9:59 PM Go to message in response to: chfsgrl

I'd put them in her bed. But I'm a bitch like that. LOL

 

 

 

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AmyJustin2010 Posts : 201 Registered: 1/18/10
Re: HELP!!! Advise PLEASE
Posted: Feb 2, 2010 10:34 PM Go to message in response to: chfsgrl

She's already the asshole here. She's been milking off someone for 6 years when she definitely can afford not to. I lived with a complete slob once. Talking to them doesn't help.

Throw it in a garbage bag in her room. We had to do that with our old roommate. He got the idea after his room was filled with garbage bags full of his shit. It didn't make him any less slob-ish, but it made us feel better and we didn't have to clean his crap, so not a complete loss.


AmyJustin2010.Weebly.Com

 

Amy & Justin--Buffalo Sabres Fanatics :) 

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starfish701 Posts : 465 Registered: 12/10/08
Re: HELP!!! Advise PLEASE
Posted: Feb 3, 2010 9:32 AM Go to message in response to: AmyJustin2010

I had an old roommate whose boyfriend was living with us rent free. They never did their dishes or took out the trash. They where really very disgusting. I stopped using the kitchen trash can and just put my stuff in small plastic bags to take out every day. By the time I was moving out there where seven bags of trash sitting in by the front door (what did the expect me to take it out?) and it smelled awful! Anyway I took all of their dishes when I was packing up, put them in a garbage back and put it on thier bed.


HOWEVER, I never had to see these people agian. In your case, this is your FH sister so its a bit more touchy. Since you said your FH is going to tell her to leave when he gets home I would just let it go. Hopefully the dishes won't be an issue in a few weeks. Until then just try not to loose it to much.
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chfsgrl Posts : 36 Registered: 1/6/10
Re: HELP!!! Advise PLEASE
Posted: Mar 17, 2010 12:13 PM Go to message in response to: chfsgrl

YIKES!! Been a while...my computer took a total poop and I just recently got it back.

Anyway, back to the subject here. My husband talked to her and said she needed to move out! YAY! I know it was hard for him to do but so totally worth it. She's been turning in applications right and left...I think just because she doesn't want to be here anymore (probably because of me and I couldn't give a rats butt) even though I told her I would give her 90 days...which would be mid may. I thought that was WAY MORE than generous of me. Before he talked to her I told her she needed to start paying at least 250 a month and she's been pretty good at keeping up with that.

We were married 3-12-10...she decided last minute (literally that morning) that she wasn't going to go! Whatever....didnt want ya there anyways...Everything went great and I can't wait for my reception next summer in CA!!

THANKS so MUCH all of you ladies for the advice.







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TheeBride Posts : 130 Registered: 1/17/10
Re: HELP!!! Advise PLEASE
Posted: Mar 19, 2010 10:00 PM Go to message in response to: chfsgrl

WOW, this is the first time I'm seeing this thread and I'm glad you got it all taken care of. I can't believe she didn't come to the wedding though, what a biatch. Ugh, at least you didn't have to deal with her that day...even though she tried to make a big stink by her not going, haha...YOU WIN!! :o)

Congrats on your marriage!!

"I carry your heart with me, I carry it in
my heart. I am never without it, anywhere
I go you go, my dear..."

E.E. Cummings

Daisypath Wedding tickers
  

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chfsgrl Posts : 36 Registered: 1/6/10
Re: HELP!!! Advise PLEASE
Posted: Mar 23, 2010 10:22 AM Go to message in response to: TheeBride

Thanks, my husband can act all big as much as he wants but I know he was bothered by her decision not to be there. Just out of pure respect. If not for any other reason but the fact that she was invited to her baby brothers wedding...I've gotten the silent treatment since we married but I couldn't care less. We are happy and busy planning and saving for our big reception next summer in CA!!


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bosoxgirl Posts : 231 Registered: 2/3/10
Re: HELP!!! Advise PLEASE
Posted: Mar 23, 2010 3:21 PM Go to message in response to: chfsgrl

Your DH's sister sounds like my father. He is a disgusting pig from hell. He will make himself breakfast, lunch, dinner and leave EVERYTHING out for someone else to clean up (and I mean everything. Egg shells, lunch meat, bread, the griddle and spatchula, dishes, coffee mug...everything!) He uses our downstairs powder room as his personal bathroom and leaves papers in there and everything. We cant even have company over because it's always disgusting. He is just disgusting and doesn't pick up after himself. So yes, I feel your pain with your SIL mooching and not doing a damn thing because my father does it to my mother and I.

I am glad you got everything squared away!

 

  

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myras Posts : 396 Registered: 2/26/10
Re: HELP!!! Advise PLEASE
Posted: Mar 23, 2010 7:29 PM Go to message in response to: chfsgrl

Sooo, she's still there?? I'm happy you and DH finally took a stand, but it ain't over til the fat lady sings. Let us know when she's gone.
myra@classysassyweddings.com

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Kimberly212 Posts : 972 Registered: 9/12/12
Re: HELP!!! Advise PLEASE
Posted: Sep 19, 2012 5:17 PM Go to message in response to: chfsgrl

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Kimberly212 Posts : 972 Registered: 9/12/12
Re: HELP!!! Advise PLEASE
Posted: Sep 24, 2012 7:35 PM Go to message in response to: chfsgrl

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