Too Young

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ryanne Posts : 1,042 Registered: 4/27/06
Re: Too Young
Posted: Nov 11, 2009 3:36 PM Go to message in response to: TangerineFranklin

Tangerine, if you know that you're that immature, why are you talking about getting married? Do you realize what a huge committment marriage is? How much work it takes? Just having your own place (and I'm not talking a dorm room!) adds so much to your plate, are you going to be able to handle that PLUS a marriage?

All that being said, good for you for choosing to go to school and get a degree. You might not see the value of it now, but it will make a huge difference in your future.

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Akiranar Posts : 2 Registered: 12/12/09
Re: Too Young
Posted: Dec 12, 2009 4:42 PM Go to message in response to: TangerineFranklin

we have postponed our wedding till 2012 when i'll be 20 so that will be
good and we've both decided to go to college for at least a year


Okay... so you're going to try college for a year... wasting your parent's money? GOOD JOB!

and
our wedding probably won't be twilight anymore since he got those rings
for us to wear them until we get an actual ring but we're going to
incorporate some of twilight since we met at the twilight movie on
November 21st at AMC 24 in Highlands ranch colorado


Twilight came out in 2008... so if you met at Twilight... then you and your boyfriend have NOT been together for three years.

but that's all we
have figured for now and no we haven't told my parents anything they
would freak. We're going to keep it a surprise probably just tell them
two days before the wedding that i'm getting married.


So, you're going to elope? Way to give your parents heart attacks.

Yes, if THIS is how you are going to do things, you are too young to get engaged. It's pretty obvious that you are trying to be just like Bella... and truthfully, that is not a good way to be. Seriously, go to college, get an education, avoid Twilight, it kills braincells.

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Too Young
Posted: Dec 12, 2009 10:24 PM Go to message in response to: Akiranar

When I was 17, my now DH proposed to me for the first time. We set our wedding date for June SIX YEARS LATER. Why? Because we had not graduated high school. We wanted to both finish college. That's five years. Then another year to just be an adult couple.

Smart plan. Of course, we broke up before we graduated, but at least we were planning on waiting until we were truly adults and making sure that we were ready for marriage.

So fast forward over 20 years. We reunited, got engaged, planned a wedding and have married. Our relationship NOW is much better than it ever was in high school. (You know that couple that breaks up and gets back together so often that even if they are not dating right now, people consider them a couple...that was us in high school.) Our personalities grew together, even though we were apart.

But who is to say that if we had married when we initially planned on it that we would now be celebrating our 18th anniversary, instead of approaching 3 months? No one. We might have made it, we might not. We have both changed a LOT since 17 (and since 23). That our interests merged so well is a miracle.

But yes, at 17 we were "too young" to get married -- but not too young to be engaged. I truly don't believe we were, because we had a level head about it. And we were planning on waiting until we were old enough to support ourselves.

Also... Old and Young, to me, are not numbers but attitudes. I know people who are 80 whom I do not consider to be "Old". I know people who are 16 whom I do not consider to be "Young". I define Old, though, in a very weird way. (Put down your drink.) You are old, to me, when you spend more time telling me about how your bodily functions are or are not working or what your doctor said than talking about anything else. Seriously. (My dad's mother, when asked how she was, would say "Oh, I had a good bowel movement this morning, so I'm guess I'm doing pretty well." By my definition, she was old.)

Misty

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ICEStandard Posts : 34 Registered: 12/10/09
Re: Too Young
Posted: Dec 13, 2009 3:03 PM Go to message in response to: TangerineFranklin

I think you need to see the world and experience things. Figure out what you want out of your life and plan those things. Your 17 and as time passes your thinking will not be the same.

www.icestandard.org

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FutureMrsCarrol... Posts : 19 Registered: 10/6/09
Re: Too Young
Posted: Dec 14, 2009 12:53 AM Go to message in response to: TangerineFranklin

Hi, I am almost 20 and just got engaged and I can tell you from a young girl to a young girl, it is so worth it to wait! I want to be 21 to get married, there is so much you can do together to grow, and from seventeen to even 19 you will find out so many new things about each other that are good and bad. Yes, when you are married you change and learn to work through it, but it is nice while you are still becoming who you are at these vital years that you learn to work things out. My FH and I have had to learn communication and it has taken us a long time to get to where we are, and we are still working on it. It is so great that you have found that special person early on! That is such a blessing and it is so hard when you graduate to wait to get married, especially now you CAN get married. But I would advise you to wait, there are plenty of years to enjoy being married, but right now you get to be a young woman and I can tell you it is fun to go out with your friends and just have fun! And right now you don't have the financial stress, and that is absoultely fine! Trust me, money can put a wedge in a relationship. Good luck to you and congratulations on getting engaged and finding that one true love! I wish you both the best. And great job on graduating early! That is so great! And please don't think I am saying it can't be done, my friend got married at 18 and she is very happy. I think you should really talk it over with your FH and your parents and find what will work best for y'all. Good luck and all the best!

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."

-Robert Frost 

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briytom8810 Posts : 1 Registered: 12/2/09
Re: Too Young
Posted: Dec 14, 2009 11:29 AM Go to message in response to: TangerineFranklin

i think its totally and completely up to you. Im 17 too and im getting married the month after my 18th. Ill be 18 in July. if you feel your ready then go for it and dont let other peoples ideas or feelings get in the way. if you dont mind me asking how old is he?
* B & T *

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CEHlovesCAD Posts : 11 Registered: 4/5/09
Re: Too Young
Posted: Dec 16, 2009 8:20 PM Go to message in response to: briytom8810

I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 18. We have been together since 7-7-07, and we have began talking about marriage. Our plan is to get married 7-7-2012 (so he will be 20, and I will be almost 20). I will have my B.A. degree completed (I already have 2 years of college completed by June) and he will probably go to a technical school, so he will be done as well. Originally we wanted to be married in 2011, but the stress of planning plus going to college right now we cannot deal with.

Both of us want to be married, but we know it will be easier on our marriage if we wait awhile. Plus, we have some issues that we are resolving, so taking the time to do that BEFORE getting married was important to both of us.

Now, my parents completely support our relationship and the fact that we want to be married. His on the other hand, do not accept me, they hated me even before they met me. To be honest, i think his parents would be that way with pretty much any girl though. I'm hoping that waiting will help them warm up to me a bit.

The main point of what I'm trying to say is that if you are going to get married, be smart about it. What you decide is up to you, and really the choice is different for everyone.
<3Cassandra<3

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dickerson2be Posts : 19 Registered: 12/8/09
Re: Too Young
Posted: Dec 18, 2009 8:46 PM Go to message in response to: TangerineFranklin

All i can say is WOW! This has kept me so entertained. Tangerine, first off I think you need to take some time and figure out what you really want in life. Even if you don't want to go to college think about any goals or dreams you have. You need to be realistic. If you can live with not achieving any of those, then by all means go through with it. I'm not saying you won't achieve them, but the chances that you won't are much higher. Take some time to figure out who you both are and get through those defining early 20's. You seem incredibly confused and like you need to explore whats out there.

Lindsey

The future Mrs. Dickerson

 

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AngelDust Posts : 1 Registered: 1/1/10
Re: Too Young
Posted: Jan 14, 2010 8:25 PM Go to message in response to: dickerson2be

I totally agree with knowing what is best for yourself and what you want in life before getting into marriage. I'd just like to share that one of the reasons why my mom was unhappy with her marriage with my dad (they're divorced for almost 7 years now) is because deep down she wanted to do more in life and she basically didn't wholeheartedly wanted marriage.

Before deciding on anything major, ask yourself and feel if getting married is what you really want for yourself. You'll save a lot of pressure, emotional pain, and not to mention money on wedding preparations that way.


Candida Cleanse Diet

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brunettebride2011 Posts : 8 Registered: 1/18/10
Re: Too Young
Posted: Jan 18, 2010 1:13 PM Go to message in response to: AngelDust

I am 21 and my FH and I just recently got engaged over Christmas. Even at my age, I thought it was almost too young. I am still in college and in the beginning wanted to wait to get engaged until after I graduated (we are getting married a month after my graduation). When I was 17 I had a boyfriend who I was absolutely in love with. Now that I think back, I was pretty much obsessed with him! Our relationship was not a healthy one for either of us and we were so young. I was ready to abandon my family and move in with him, skip college, and give up on all my plans for him. I just don't think that at your age you should have to make such a big desicion. You should be out having fun at your age! Going to college, meeting new people, and seeing what's out there. Marriage is supposed to be special and if you are on here asking questions whether or not you are too young, you really need to take it in to consideration that maybe you are. I am not saying to break up with your boyfriend, just take it slow and see where you are a few years from now. I hated when people would say things like this to me when I was 17, but now that I am older, I know they were doing it because I was making a mistake. But remember, it's ultimately your choice :)

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