Military Fiances

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Girlybride090209 Posts : 12 Registered: 9/28/09
Military Fiances
Posted: Dec 5, 2009 1:24 AM

Hello
I starting this thread for women who might be going similar situations with their fiances leaving for boot camp or deployment. I hope if nothing else we will be able give each other words of hope and encouragement. Or simply allow us to vent out.

Ok so here's my story:
My fiance is leaving for boot camp in a few days. I understand why he decided to join the military and I am trying to be supportive. Even though I trying to concentrate on the fun and exciting events coming up in our future (wedding planning etc.) it seems that as the day gets closer and closer; the more sad that I get. We have never spend more then two weeks apart and now the time he'll be spending in boot camp seems like a million years.

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Sarahew88 Posts : 9 Registered: 11/12/09
Re: Military Fiances
Posted: Dec 5, 2009 6:09 AM Go to message in response to: Girlybride090209

Thanks for the forum!

I am recently engaged to my enlisted honey.

We met while both deployed to the Middle East. I was/am an Army civilian employee (civil servant) and he was the NCO assigned to assist us.

We worked together for 8 months, then he went back to Baghdad, then home. Then I went from one station to another. We crossed paths forever and it was only recently that we reconnected, and things are fantastic.

He just redeployed from Afghanistan and I went home on R&R to spend time with him. That is when we got engaged. I have another week in Kuwait, and then I join him on his next tour with my unit in Alaska.

I am blessed that I work for a unit that he is assigned to, so it is literally like taking his girlfriend to Iraq, Kuwait etc with him. We are going home to the real world to be together, but after 5 years deployed with thousands of solidiers and still working for the warrior, I welcome any questions and offer any advice on how to cope or what they are going though.

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Girlybride090209 Posts : 12 Registered: 9/28/09
Re: Military Fiances
Posted: Dec 6, 2009 4:18 AM Go to message in response to: Sarahew88


It's wonderful to know that in the middle of a war, you were able to find love.



I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to
another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens
forever.-Amy Tan

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Girlybride090209 Posts : 12 Registered: 9/28/09
Re: Military Fiances
Posted: Dec 8, 2009 3:12 PM Go to message in response to: Girlybride090209

My fiance left for boot camp yesterday. I don't know what to do. I super sad we have never apart for more then two weeks and this seems almost impossible. I trying to stay busy but all I really want to do is crawl in to bed, cry, cry, and cry.


I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.-Amy Tan

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Sarahew88 Posts : 9 Registered: 11/12/09
Re: Military Fiances
Posted: Jan 3, 2010 4:47 PM Go to message in response to: Girlybride090209

I feel your pain. We have been home together for a month and he just left for his new duty station. I cant join him not even for a visit till March.
Everyone is so worried about me and this relationship. At 40 yrs old I am very independant. And now I am sort of on my own again, I get up and go to the gym; then come home and get back in bed. Sometimes I cant get out till 3pm. I cry a lot an d I get mad a lot. I know there is light at the end of the tunnel but I dont see it and my soldier treats me like a soldier by not even reassuring me. That is his way of coping also I am sure.

Let me know how you are.

Sarah

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone oh Lord; make me to dwell in SAFETY."

Psalms 4:8

I scratched this onto every wall of each living unit I was in while deployed.

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Girlybride090209 Posts : 12 Registered: 9/28/09
Re: Military Fiances
Posted: Jan 14, 2010 1:05 AM Go to message in response to: Sarahew88

Hey
I doing a bit better, well I good as I could be. I've been writing him a letter everyday, which has helped so much. But I still miss him! We have able to talk a couple of times but it's not the same. I'm counting down the days until he is done with boot camp. Thanks for your response, it nice to know I'm not alone out there

 

 

I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.-Amy Tan

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Girlybride090209 Posts : 12 Registered: 9/28/09
Re: Military Fiances
Posted: Jan 14, 2010 1:05 AM Go to message in response to: Sarahew88

Hey
I doing a bit better, well I good as I could be. I've been writing him a letter everyday, which has helped so much. But I still miss him! We have able to talk a couple of times but it's not the same. I'm counting down the days until he is done with boot camp. Thanks for your response, it nice to know I'm not alone out there

 

 

I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.-Amy Tan

Reply

eimajin Posts : 1 Registered: 12/11/09
Re: Military Fiances
Posted: Jan 15, 2010 10:48 PM Go to message in response to: Girlybride090209

first off, i just wanted to say congrats on the engagement... =) and that's good that you're doing better... my fiance just left for his deployment about 2 days ago... and i won't see him for about 8 months.. so i'm basically on my own with the wedding plans as well (which might be a good idea so that i can gather my ideas on my own and have it all organized for him when he gets back)... i know it's hard and you miss having him around you but, let's think of it this way, it'll make you guys appreciate each other more by the time he gets back. just remember that you guys are in this together and that he joined the military for your guyz's future.. especially now that the economy is a bit screwed up and there's a lot of unemployment.. government/ military jobs are sometimes the way to go... but i bet that your love and support is what keeps him going.. so, let's try to stay positive for our future hubbies because it can only get better from here on out..

something that i always tell myself when he leaves for military reasons...
even though you're one day further from the last time you saw him; you are one day closer to the next time you'll be with him.. remember, stay positive and keep in mind that he's thinking of you as much as you do...

i hope this helps... and good luck!

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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Military Fiances
Posted: Jan 15, 2010 11:14 PM Go to message in response to: eimajin

I am not a military wife. There is no way I could do that, to be apart for so long and with all of that worry. So I wanted to come here and say that I really admire how strong all of you ladies are, for being able to deal with all of the things you deal with and still managing to get out of bed in the morning! Be proud!
Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

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Sarahew88 Posts : 9 Registered: 11/12/09
Re: Military Fiances
Posted: Jan 16, 2010 1:28 AM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

Ever hear of "stop-loss"? We it happened to us. He got to his new duty station of Alaska (I am in TX) and three days later was given orders for his 4th tour in Afghanistan. Now my perfect wedding date of 12-11-10 is out the windlow.

I was content with making wedding plans on my own, even went to the Bridal Extravaganza in Houston and nailed down the exact vendors I want to use. Thank God I did not write any non-refundable "reserve the date" checks or I would have been screwed.

I am holding strong, hope you are all doing the same.

OH! One little bit of good news, in three weeks I have lost 9 pounds. On my way to looking like a healthy bride and NOT waddle down the aisle.

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone oh Lord; make me to dwell in SAFETY."

Psalms 4:8

I scratched this onto every wall of each living unit I was in while deployed.

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AmyJustin2010 Posts : 201 Registered: 1/18/10
Re: Military Fiances
Posted: Jan 19, 2010 12:25 PM Go to message in response to: Girlybride090209

Hi ladies. I'm Amy. My fiance is Justin, he is currently a poolee waiting to shit out to Marine bootcamp on March 1st. We're getting married June 4 when he returns from boot camp. We have already finished the bulk of our planning since I wanted to have him involved as much as he could be. Right now we're trying to enjoy every second we have together before his departure, but it seems the time is flying by and it is pretty soon.

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Girlybride090209 Posts : 12 Registered: 9/28/09
Re: Military Fiances
Posted: Jan 25, 2010 2:07 AM Go to message in response to: Sarahew88

Sarah Congrats on the weight loss! But it sucks that you had to change
your wedding plans. I guess it comes with the territory of being engaged to a military man. May god return him to safetly so you can have your dream wedding. My wedding date is also tenative until we figuere out where he will station and for how long; all the other details that we should find out soon. We have about 20 more days of bootcamp left and two months of trainning.

Eimajin Thanks for your kind words I agree is nicer to think that I'm one day closer to seeing him again rather then to think of how many days we've spent apart.

Amy time will fly so cherish every moment you have together. Make the most of every moment! The best advice I can offer is the same advice so many wonderful ladies who have gone through it gave me: write him every day it help him as much as it will help you.

Best wishes ladies

 

 

I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.-Amy Tan

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AmandaBailey Posts : 9 Registered: 1/22/10
Re: Military Fiances
Posted: Jan 29, 2010 8:12 AM Go to message in response to: Girlybride090209

Hello Ladies!!

I might have some words of encouragment for you. My name is Amanda, and I am an active duty soldier in the Army. I just currently got engaged to another soldier.
Right now its going to be hard with him in boot camp and when he goes into AIT. But some of the strongest relationships i have ever seen are military relationships. Having the strength to sit there and wait for your loved one just shows how much love you hold for that person.
Its that first 30 seconds every time you see him/her again after a long period of time... that really shows you how worth it the wait really is and how much you truly love them.

But once he is out of all his training and you two are happily married, dont worry. You will be able to move with him to the different duty stations he gets moved too. And military wives are very friendly. Some of my best friends out here are military wives.

The only thing i stress is you must come to learn about the schedules he will have. Ive seen too many marriages fall a part becasue either the husband or wife didnt bother to try and understand that the hours can be crazy at some times. But it has amazing benefits, and the military really does take care of its families.

Congrats on the engagement and the best of luck to you!! I would suggest trying to get an overseas post. We are currently in Germany and its amazing!! You can take weekdn trips to places we dream of, Paris, Rome, Venice, Austria.... so much.

Good luck!!
Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold
it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s
true strength

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Girlybride090209 Posts : 12 Registered: 9/28/09
Re: Military Fiances
Posted: Feb 1, 2010 12:53 AM Go to message in response to: AmandaBailey

Thanks Amanda! Honestly if it was up to me I would love to go to Europe like you said it one be one of those one in a life time things. I've always wanted see paris, rome , spain, venice etc.
I was on a social networking site and fould this amazing piece of writing that someone posted, after I read it lifted my spirits and made me more proud then ever to soon be a military wife. So here it is I hope it makes all of you as proud as it made me:

For all of you who wake up in the morning, lay there for a few moments,
trying to swallow the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach as you
wonder where your soldier is, or how he's doing...this is for you. For
all of you who start a countdown the minute he leaves, and continue to
until he is back in your arms again...this is for you.
For all of
you who tear up everytime "Far Away" comes on the radio, or who press
repeat when "Come Home Soon" plays in their car...this one's for you.
For all of you who see Military billboards, ads in the paper, or
commercials on TV and next notice the tears rolling down your cheeks,
this is for you. I am one of you too.
For all the times we sleep
with our phones on the loudest possible volume, just as to not miss the
call that just MIGHT come... For all the times we roll our eyes when
another girl is depressed because she hasn't seen her guy in a week...
For all the times we hear our man's name mentioned out loud, and are
momentarily frozen...in a trance...in love.
For all the late nights
that we spend alone, cuddling with our stuffed animals, wearing our
soldiers sweatshirts and sweatpants, and clutching the precious dog
tags around our necks... This one's for us. We may feel weak on the
inside, but on the outside we're STRONG.
We may be drowning in
tears on the inside, but on the outside, we are a rock. We may want to
crawl in bed and sleep until our man comes home, but instead, we get up
and go on with our daily lives with our soldier in our hearts. We may
feel like we're slowly dying with each day we spend apart from our men,
but instead, we put one foot infront of the other, and take each day as
it comes. We are strong, and we are proud.
We have more love in our
hearts than we ever thought possible, and for this, we are thankful. We
are thankful for our men and what they do to ensure our safety. Alone
we are weak, but together, we are strong. We help each other, and we
survive. To all you Military wives out there, hold your head up and be
proud.
It takes a strong woman to love a soldier and an even stronger one to commit her life to one.

 

 

I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.-Amy Tan

Reply


Girlybride090209 Posts : 12 Registered: 9/28/09
Re: Military Fiances
Posted: Feb 1, 2010 12:53 AM Go to message in response to: AmandaBailey

Thanks Amanda! Honestly if it was up to me I would love to go to Europe like you said it one be one of those one in a life time things. I've always wanted see paris, rome , spain, venice etc.
I was on a social networking site and fould this amazing piece of writing that someone posted, after I read it lifted my spirits and made me more proud then ever to soon be a military wife. So here it is I hope it makes all of you as proud as it made me:

For all of you who wake up in the morning, lay there for a few moments,
trying to swallow the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach as you
wonder where your soldier is, or how he's doing...this is for you. For
all of you who start a countdown the minute he leaves, and continue to
until he is back in your arms again...this is for you.
For all of
you who tear up everytime "Far Away" comes on the radio, or who press
repeat when "Come Home Soon" plays in their car...this one's for you.
For all of you who see Military billboards, ads in the paper, or
commercials on TV and next notice the tears rolling down your cheeks,
this is for you. I am one of you too.
For all the times we sleep
with our phones on the loudest possible volume, just as to not miss the
call that just MIGHT come... For all the times we roll our eyes when
another girl is depressed because she hasn't seen her guy in a week...
For all the times we hear our man's name mentioned out loud, and are
momentarily frozen...in a trance...in love.
For all the late nights
that we spend alone, cuddling with our stuffed animals, wearing our
soldiers sweatshirts and sweatpants, and clutching the precious dog
tags around our necks... This one's for us. We may feel weak on the
inside, but on the outside we're STRONG.
We may be drowning in
tears on the inside, but on the outside, we are a rock. We may want to
crawl in bed and sleep until our man comes home, but instead, we get up
and go on with our daily lives with our soldier in our hearts. We may
feel like we're slowly dying with each day we spend apart from our men,
but instead, we put one foot infront of the other, and take each day as
it comes. We are strong, and we are proud.
We have more love in our
hearts than we ever thought possible, and for this, we are thankful. We
are thankful for our men and what they do to ensure our safety. Alone
we are weak, but together, we are strong. We help each other, and we
survive. To all you Military wives out there, hold your head up and be
proud.
It takes a strong woman to love a soldier and an even stronger one to commit her life to one.

 

 

I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.-Amy Tan

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