Wedding Etiquette

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MamaMina Posts : 1 Registered: 8/26/09
Wedding Etiquette
Posted: Nov 23, 2009 12:05 PM

I have some questions. My fiance and i are trying to keep our wedding very simple and cut down on costs for ourselves and our families while still making it a beautiful ceremony. We are wondering if we could:
1. Not have a wedding party (bridesmaids & groomsmen) and just have a flower girl & ring bearer. We do not want to deal with the hassle of having the expense and stress of a wedding party. Has this ever been done before?
2. Just a question: Isn't the groom supposed to wear a tuxedo or can it be a really nice suit?
3. For the reception/dinner we want to have it very intimate having family and a few friends. Is it rude to invite someone to the wedding and not invite them to the reception? We were thinking of having two, something with cake and punch and then later have dinner with the family. Has anyone ever done this?
we have not made any decision yet, but we just want to make sure that we can have what we want and also show our appreciation and consideration for our friends and family.

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Wedding Etiquette
Posted: Nov 23, 2009 12:32 PM Go to message in response to: MamaMina

Simple sounds great! You don't need a wedding party, it's not required. A flower girl and ring bearer sound fine; I actually find it cute. The groom doesn't HAVE to wear a tux. A nice suit will be just fine. If you plan on having a small wedding with just cake and punch afterwards then I think it will be fine to take your families out to dinner. But make sure it's only close family like sisters, brothers, parents. That way no one will get their feelings hurt.
                           
  

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Elflet Posts : 5 Registered: 11/18/09
Re: Wedding Etiquette
Posted: Nov 23, 2009 7:04 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

I've been to superformal weddings and I've been to more casual ones. I've even been to a wedding where the groom wore khaki shorts and a hawaiian shirt (it was beachside) and the bride wore a beautiful sarong.

You say "can he wear a suit"

Of COURSE he can! Is there some God of weddings who'll be offended if EVERY detail isn't perfect? NO! In the end, this is YOUR day. Do what feels right for YOU. Alternatively to the 2 receptions, you could have the family dinner the night before. There's usually one, called the rehearsal dinner. And then after the ceremony, cake, punch, maybe a sandwich buffet, toasts and joy all around.

On a side note, I hadn't thought of the tux thing. I can't imagine my HTB in a tux! I can't even imagine him in a nice suit!
You can never get too much Wicked Clown Love

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JerseyGirlVA Posts : 311 Registered: 9/17/09
Re: Wedding Etiquette
Posted: Nov 23, 2009 7:45 PM Go to message in response to: MamaMina

I'm definitely supportive of the concept of not having a wedding party! My FH to-be and I are definitely not doing a wedding party. Don't feel like you have too.
The groom should wear whatever he wants or feels comfortable in. I do however think that the outfit should match the style of the wedding though. If you're getting married in a church the groom should probably wear a suit or tux but a beach wedding is a great excuse to wear khaki shorts or a khaki colored suit.
I would suggest inviting those to the wedding as well as the 'reception' or 'dinner party' after the ceremony. If someone invited me to their ceremony but not to the reception, I don't think I would go at all. Invite those who you want to invite, but to all celebrations.
Hope this was of some help!

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Wedding Etiquette
Posted: Nov 23, 2009 11:07 PM Go to message in response to: MamaMina

1. Not have a wedding party (bridesmaids & groomsmen) and just have
a flower girl & ring bearer. We do not want to deal with the hassle
of having the expense and stress of a wedding party. Has this ever been
done before?


Do whatever you want with the WP - ours was uneven - THE HORROR!!! LOL

2. Just a question: Isn't the groom supposed to wear a tuxedo or can it be a really nice suit?


I was at a wedding where the groom wore a hawaiin shirt and khaki shorts - he can wear whatever reflects your wedding and his style.

3. For the reception/dinner we want to have it very intimate having
family and a few friends. Is it rude to invite someone to the wedding
and not invite them to the reception? We were thinking of having two,
something with cake and punch and then later have dinner with the
family. Has anyone ever done this?


I think that if you have cake and punch right after the wedding and then get together for a dinner with just family a couple of hours later that is fine - as long as ALL family members are invited. These are two different events.

It would probably be even better to do a family brunch the next day so no one is offended, but I think that as long as you do a cake/punch reception immediately following the wedding you are good.

 

 

 

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