Wedding Planning & Etiquette

advanced search

Head Table Seating Question

Online Users: 442 guest(s), 1 user(s). Replies: 13


ChelsRae85 Posts : 371 Registered: 5/16/09
Head Table Seating Question
Posted: Nov 9, 2009 3:53 PM

I was at a wedding Saturday at the same venue we're using and I realized something. Our wedding party is not going to fit at our head table if we include their dates.

So do I:

1) Not have a head table so they can sit with their spouses and/or dates
or
2) Have a head table with a table for their spouses/dates nearby.

If it makes any difference, all their dates will be committed relationships, not just one-night date-for-the-sake-of-bringing-one type things.

I would hope they're not going to be at the table except to eat anyway, because of dancing and mingling, but you never know. Thoughts, ladies?
My Planning Blog

june_2011 , ohio
email friend | report thread
Reply


ArtBride Posts : 4,841 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Head Table Seating Question
Posted: Nov 9, 2009 4:19 PM Go to message in response to: ChelsRae85

That's up to you. How do your WP members feel about sitting separately from their SOs? Will the SOs know other people at the wedding?

Personally, I wouldn't care about having to sit separately from DH as long as I knew other people at the wedding and was seated with them. Even if I didn't, it wouldn't be a big deal and I'd meet people at my table pretty quickly.

Here's another idea, though: Why not ask your venue whether you can have a larger head table? I'm sure they don't use the same setup for every wedding, so it's probably possible to customize something that works for you. Our venue was willing to set up whatever size tables we wanted.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

june_2011 , ohio
email friend | report thread
Reply


MrsCP3 Posts : 456 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Head Table Seating Question
Posted: Nov 9, 2009 4:30 PM Go to message in response to: ChelsRae85

I don't think it's a good idea to split up the WP and their SOs, especially if the SOs don't know many people at the wedding. If you can't get a bigger head table, why not just do a sweetheart table? We did, and it worked out really well because the WP could sit with whoever they wanted (although most of them sat together anyway). It was kinda nice to have a private table for just me & DH, even though we only sat there for maybe 5 minutes.

 

 

 

june_2011 , atlanta , ohio , october_2009
email friend | report thread
Reply


karebeartg Posts : 831 Registered: 6/25/08
Re: Head Table Seating Question
Posted: Nov 9, 2009 5:39 PM Go to message in response to: MrsCP3

Personally, I enjoy weddings much more when I'm seated with my DH when one of us is in the wedding party. I'm a naturally somewhat shy person, but I'm really good at being social when I have DH to play off of. (It's one of the things I love about him). So, if you give me the choice, I would always pick to sit with him. (With the sole exception of if I know other people well...but I find that generally if he is in the wedding party and I am not, I probably don't know as many people.)

That being said, I certainly wasn't offended or upset the times FH and I haven't been seated together because of a head table. I'm sure it depends on the significant others, but I would say to seat the dates either together or with other people THEIR AGE that they know. The one wedding I did not particularly enjoy was when I was seated with DH's parents, sister and DH's parent's friends. It was fine...but DH's sister is really quiet, so I felt like I needed to be on my best behavior and really felt pretty awkward until DH joined us. I would MUCH rather have sat with the other dates, even if I hadn't met them or had only met them at the rehearsal dinner the night before.

If you do have a head table, you might want to think about having a couple extra chairs near or at the tables with the dates of the wedding party, so the wedding party can grab a seat by their date once dinner is over.

 

june_2011 , atlanta , ohio , october_2009 , north_carolina , august_2009
email friend | report thread
Reply


myra Posts : 5,555 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Head Table Seating Question
Posted: Nov 9, 2009 8:16 PM Go to message in response to: ChelsRae85

Many couple today are skipping the head table. All those people lined up in a row always remmind me of the Last Supper! Some couples choose a sweetheart table, just for the two of them, and then mix the wedding party in with the rest of the guests. For my daughter's wedding, we did a family table--just the bridal couple, 4 parents, and couple's siblings. It worked out great.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

june_2011 , ohio
email friend | report thread
Reply


BrighterThanSun... Posts : 854 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: Head Table Seating Question
Posted: Nov 9, 2009 9:14 PM Go to message in response to: myra

I've always thought that the family table is a good idea.
It's definitely an idea I am going to consider.
My Mom is one of my best friends--and she is my mom--I think I will probably want to sit with her.
Of course with separations and divorces--family tables can get awkward.

Personally, I don't think it is necessary to add spouses of the BP to the head table. I don't think I would--however all of their SOs would know other guests at the wedding who weren't in the bridal party either.

I'm not a fan of the sweetheart table--you're going to have every night for the rest of your lives to eat together. Weddings are such a social celebration--I think a table of 2 is kind of silly (for lack of a better word.) I want to celebrate and eat with my new husband and the people closest to me.

june_2011 , ohio
email friend | report thread
Reply


Rose217 Posts : 475 Registered: 8/9/08
Re: Head Table Seating Question
Posted: Nov 9, 2009 9:19 PM Go to message in response to: myra

The family table is a great idea!

email friend | report thread
Reply


ChelsRae85 Posts : 371 Registered: 5/16/09
Re: Head Table Seating Question
Posted: Nov 9, 2009 9:52 PM Go to message in response to: ChelsRae85

I think we're going to skip the head table altogether. Space issues at the venue prevent us from adding a larger table, and if we re-arrange the room we end up either blocking the bar or the bathroom, and since those are my two top priorities (jkjk kind of :) ), we can't have that. Our families are both far too large to sit together anyway, so I think we're probably going to just do the sweetheart table.

I should really have thought of space issues before asking my girlfriends all to be bm's. I mean, I considered budget as far as flowers, food at the rehearsal dinner, and gifts go, but I didn't consider how much space they would require. So, a word of advice to those of you who haven't chosen your wp yet, consider how much space you're working with!! LOL!
My Planning Blog

june_2011 , ohio
email friend | report thread
Reply


MrsCP3 Posts : 456 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Head Table Seating Question
Posted: Nov 10, 2009 9:34 AM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

Brighter- I had to comment on your thoughts on the sweetheart table, because our experience was the complete opposite of that. We had our sweetheart table right next to the dance floor (and on the way to the bar), so we were right in the middle of all the action. It was great because guests could come up to us on all sides of the table and congratulate us, without having to maneuver around a large head table or wait in a line, which is what I've had to do at some weddings I've been to. I'd also like to point out that despite every intention you may have to sit and eat, you won't. We were sitting for 5,or maybe 10 minutes at most. The rest of the time we were mingling and dancing (even during dinner). DH got up from our table to go to the restroom right after they served us our food, and he never made it back to the table because everyone was stopping him to congratulate him. By the time he made it back, it was time to open the dance floor with the father-daughter dance. We didn't actually get a meal until we were back at the hotel room at about 1am.

My point is, a sweetheart table is not at all a secluded thing; in my opinion it facilitates celebrating with your guests.

 

 

 

june_2011 , atlanta , ohio , october_2009
email friend | report thread
Reply


NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Head Table Seating Question
Posted: Nov 10, 2009 10:49 AM Go to message in response to: ChelsRae85

Personally I think the head table look is a little dated. I know there are areas of the country that still do this, but I agree with Myra--it's a little Last Supper looking. I've even been to weddings where the head table is like elevated on a stage. And looking at DH up there cracked me up!

Anyway, as a SO of DH being in the WP, I didn't mind it when I knew people at the wedding. but for mine, I tried to keep in mind who knew who when planning the table set up. The last thing I wanted to do was alienate the Best Man's FW b/c she didnt know anyone else.

However having gone to a wedding where I only knew my ILs and DH was the Best Man, I quickly made friends with another wife of a GM. She knew I was going and didn't know anyone either so we bonded quickly!

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

june_2011 , october_2008 , ohio , central_new_jersey
email friend | report thread
Reply


CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Head Table Seating Question
Posted: Nov 10, 2009 11:04 AM Go to message in response to: ChelsRae85

I never even thought of the head table looking like the Last Supper, hahaha. In my opinion I don't see a big issue with where the wedding party and bride and groom sits. They will only sit there to eat and that's it. I've been to a few weddings and not one person sat back at the head table after cake was served. Everyone danced and sat with their friends and family members afterwards.

If you can't fit all of the wedding party at the head table then maybe you have those head tables that come in different platforms (if there is room, not sure how small your reception area is).
                           
  

Daisypath Wedding tickers

 

Visit my wedding website http://www.mywedding.com/alanandjarlyn

Sign my guestbook!!! :)



 


june_2011 , ohio , connecticut , october_2010
email friend | report thread
Reply


EWF Posts : 158 Registered: 7/16/09
Re: Head Table Seating Question
Posted: Nov 10, 2009 11:15 AM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

personally, i don't like a head table or a sweetheart table. we are doing a family table. luckily, we are doing tables of 10 and we are exactly 10!

 

 

Proud Member of P.O.O.P - People Offended by Offended People

june_2011 , new_york_metro , march_2010 , ohio , connecticut , october_2010
email friend | report thread
Reply


BrighterThanSun... Posts : 854 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: Head Table Seating Question
Posted: Nov 10, 2009 11:35 AM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

I have to agree with the posters who have made the "last supper" comments.

I planned 3 weddings this year as the dining room manager of a lodge that hosts weddings in the spring and fall.

None of the weddings did the traditional idea of the head table that looks like the table at the last supper.

Wedding #1 The wedding consisted of 6 long tables that seated from 12-20 people. The dining room is actually 2 rooms that are attached with a large set of french doors that we kept open. There were 3 tables that ran parallel to each other in each room. The "head table" was the table that ran along the mainset of windows that overlooked the lake. It sat the bride, the groom, the wedding party and their spouses as well as their parents.

Wedding #2 A series of smaller square tables that sat about 8 people per table. The head table looked like all of the other tables but was a bit off to the side in the main room and it had the bride, groom, their best man and spouse, maid of honour and spouse and the couples children from prior marraiges (couple was late 30s, early 40s)

Wedding #3 An outdoor reception in a tent. There was a dancefloor in the middle that the head table was on--it was huge. There head table probably sat about 30 people. It had the bridal party, spouses and both the bride and groom's immediate family with their spouses as well as few close friends that didn't make it into the bridal party. The rest of the tables were circular tables that sat I forget either 8 or 10 people that surrounded the dance floor.

So, obviously, you can shy away from traditional ideas. A head table doesn't need to be a "last supper" table.

It can be a table like any other table that just happens to sit you and your groom and whoever you choose to sit there.

june_2011 , ohio , connecticut , october_2010
email friend | report thread
Reply


MandaMurphy Posts : 68 Registered: 2/22/08
Re: Head Table Seating Question
Posted: Nov 10, 2009 1:17 PM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

You may have already decided what you wanted to do..

For my wedding, I did not have a sweetheart table or have a head table - the long ones for my wedding party. Because a table fits 8 at my reception, my "main" table was for my newly husband, his dad, his step mom, his mom, his sister (because his mom's bf was not able to make it) and my parents.

Which worked out pretty good because parents play a big role and just seem like a nice gesture to have them sitted with us.

www.mandamurphyphotography.com

www.momentville.com/mandamike

 




 

june_2011 , ohio , connecticut , october_2010 , november_2008 , southern_california
email friend | report thread
Reply
RSS

Join

Email

App

App

WIN

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift

Find Local Vendors

From Florists to Photographers...

are you a vendor? Click Here

Find your BRIDES wedding website below

Subscribe to Brides magazine