Bride in DIEING NEED OF HELP AND ADVICE!!

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Gelle Posts : 2 Registered: 11/9/09
Bride in DIEING NEED OF HELP AND ADVICE!!
Posted: Nov 9, 2009 1:49 PM

So my fiance and i are from louisiana and just recently decided that instead of having a big church wedding that we would go to orange beach or some where to get married. we will be bringing our parents (and my step parents) our siblings, daughter (2 yrs) and a few of our CLOSEST FRIENDS (8 total). im really confused because i dont know if my guests are supposed to pay for their own place to stay or if we are supposed to pay for it all. Most of everyone who is in the wedding are easy going laid back people but i am not sure how this all works. i ahve never been to a beach wedding before

I really hope that someone can help me out here and tell me.


Edited by: Gelle on Nov 9, 2009 1:49 PM

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Bride in DIEING NEED OF HELP AND ADVICE!!
Posted: Nov 9, 2009 3:09 PM Go to message in response to: Gelle

Welcome to the boards. When you have a destination wedding you are not expected to pay for your guests accommodation.

What that said, thats exactly what we did. We rented two beach houses, one for each of our immediate families. We had our ceremony in the brides house to save money. Not only did we not have to pay for a venue rental but the house was really cute so we just put out some candles and saved money on decor and flowers.

Before we made any bookings we emailed everyone who was invited (just immediate family) and asked what they thought of the plan. Everyone was agreeable and it felt like a wedding/family reunion combo. We also found that renting a house was obviously more expensive than a hotel room, but when we compared the rate of accomodating our families in two houses vs 10 hotel rooms it was quite a bit cheaper. Plus we were able to host events within the house. As well as the ceremony we had a meet and greet breakfast on the morning of the wedding as the families had never met and a luau the day after the wedding to keep the festivities going.

As I said you are not required to pay for the accomodation but I would definitely ask people for their input. There may be people who can't afford to attend a destination wedding and this may influence your decision on how to handle accommodation as well as budgeting priorities.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Bride in DIEING NEED OF HELP AND ADVICE!!
Posted: Nov 9, 2009 5:25 PM Go to message in response to: Gelle

Dear Gelle,

In general, wedding guests pay for their own accomodations, no matter where the wedding is held.

However, there might be a few people who simply cannot afford to pay for a trip to your destination. If you have the money, you can offer some help to those specific people. Keep it quiet, just between you and the person involved.

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Gelle Posts : 2 Registered: 11/9/09
Re: Bride in DIEING NEED OF HELP AND ADVICE!!
Posted: Nov 10, 2009 11:05 AM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

ok so what about bridal party? should we have to pay for them as well?

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Bride in DIEING NEED OF HELP AND ADVICE!!
Posted: Nov 10, 2009 11:28 AM Go to message in response to: Gelle

dear Gelle,

You don't "have" to pay for anyone's accomodations except your own. However, if anyone, including bridal party members, have spent a considerable sum on wedding-related expenses, and if that person is finding it tough to come up with the money to travel, and if you have money to spare, then it would be good to make a private offer of help.

Think of the overall Bottom Line your wedding party have had to spend on you. Clothes? Any parties? Travel? Accomodation? Gifts?

Then, make your best guess as to the affordability of that total, based on your best guess of the person's income and finances. If you think it might be a squeeze, approach the person privately and make an offer to (eg) cover the accomodations.

There was a bride on this message board, some time ago, who really wanted to pay for everyone's travel to her destination wedding. I suggested to her that was not a great idea. My reasoning is that some of her guests might be well able to afford the trip, and might want to keep the travel arrangements in their own control. Perhaps they might want to stay a few days later, as a family vacation. Perhaps they might want to fly out of the wedding location on to another vacation or business spot.

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Bride in DIEING NEED OF HELP AND ADVICE!!
Posted: Nov 10, 2009 1:28 PM Go to message in response to: Gelle

You don't "have to" pay for anybody! If you want to its a nice gesture, but definitely not required. Having the bridal party together is good and practical as well. If you opt not to pay for accommodation, for whatever reasons I would suggest that you block rooms for your guests at a limited number of hotels. Its definitely eaiser to arrange an event when you don't have people staying in lots of different locations especially at a destination wedding. Depending on the number of people attending sometimes you can also get a discount for a group booking. I would also recommend a wedding website to keep everyone informed. You can post hotel recommendations there as well as maps, area info transportation info such as car rentals and taxis to help everyone out

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