Invitations for Delayed Receptions

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pitdigger Posts : 37 Registered: 10/31/09
Invitations for Delayed Receptions
Posted: Nov 1, 2009 2:29 PM

Hi! I'm new to the board, but I've been lurking for a little while. I have a question that I hope you all can help me with.

The Backstory:
Fiance and I are getting married in South Africa.
I'm American, he's Canadian and we have friends and relatives in both places, but not necessarily the same places.
Both sets of parents are going to throw a party/reception (I tend to emphasize the party aspect when talking to people about it) for us once we're back on the continent in their respective locations (Washington, D.C. and Montreal).
I hired a friend to make up the invitations, but I haven't worked with the wording yet.

The Question:
How should I approach this?
Can I put the dates for both events on the same invitation, separated with an "or"?
Would this be considered "double-dipping"?

The Reasoning:
I would like not to have to come up with separate guest lists for each event. I have some friends who have expressed an interest in going to Montreal over D.C., but haven't written them down. I would also like people to know that they are welcome at either. These are going to be pretty informal affairs, so I'm looking for ideas and what would work best.

Thanks a bunch!

~Jillian

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Invitations for Delayed Receptions
Posted: Nov 1, 2009 2:51 PM Go to message in response to: pitdigger

This is an interesting conundrum! I personally would not be offended by an invitation with Montreal OR DC. As neither place is close to one another and I'm sure everyone is aware of your situation, it wouldn't phase me.

That said, I don't know what the etiquette is and I think that the invitations might look nicer and cleaner with only one date and address.

Truthfully, I don't necessarily see what the big deal is in doing 2 guest lists.

So would I be offended, no. But I don't see what the big deal is either - unless it's a cost thing with the invitations.....

EDIT: AOTB, ArtBride, Myra, etc might have some more insight.




Edited by: PharmToxGirl on Nov 1, 2009 2:52 PM

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pitdigger Posts : 37 Registered: 10/31/09
Re: Invitations for Delayed Receptions
Posted: Nov 1, 2009 3:04 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Thanks!

I think, for me, the not wanting to do two lists is that I'm trying to be as inclusive as possible. And I feel weird about polling friends as to which location they'd prefer to go to before I send them an invitation.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Invitations for Delayed Receptions
Posted: Nov 1, 2009 6:08 PM Go to message in response to: pitdigger

Dear Jillian,

Question. Will the invitations for the party go out before or after the ceremony has taken place?

If the ceremony has already taken place when the reception invitations go out, then they can be written mentioning the past wedding and use your new married name. (If you plan to change it.)

Mr and Mrs Homer Simpson
Invite you to a reception in honor of
Mr and Mrs Nelson Muntz
married 1/1/10 Cape Town, South Africa thus announcing the marriage as a done deal
(date time place etc)

If the reception invitations go out before the ceremony, then resist the temptation to combine an announcement of an anticipated event with a party invitation. You don't announce a marriage until it's completed.

Mr and Mrs Homer Simpson
Invite you to a reception in honor of
Lisa Simpson
Nelson Muntz
date, time place, etc.

People will know it's planned to be a reception to celebrate your planned marriage.

Now, for your two-party issue.

I would make up separate invitations, both of which reflect the hosts of the party and the party style. Then, put both invitations in the same envelope.

One might be more formal:

Mr and Mrs Homer Simpson
invite you to a reception in honor of...

One might be less formal:

Get out your dancing shoes and come to our celebration!
George and Mary Muntz are throwing a shindig for
(etc, date time place)

If the two parties are approximately equal in formality, then the two invitations should be more or less twins of each other.

This way you advertise that there are two separate parties, in two separate locations, hosted by different people. You're just putting them in the same envelope to save a bit on postage.


(Where in South Africa are you going? I've been to Joburg, Durban, Cape Town and a few other places.)

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pitdigger Posts : 37 Registered: 10/31/09
Re: Invitations for Delayed Receptions
Posted: Nov 1, 2009 6:45 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Hi Aunt! Thanks. I was hoping you'd weigh in.

The invitations will go out beforehand, plus, I'm not changing my name, so that would be easy any which way.

I hadn't thought about the two-in-one, that's a great idea and it makes the whom to RSVP to much clearer.

We're getting married at a game reserve in Bayala (~150 km north of Durban). His dad is from South Africa, so we'll be seeing that side of the family and they're primarily based in Durban, Pietermaritzberg, and the South Coast. But we're also going to Cape Town and J-berg, we're still working out an itinerary since he's been there before and I haven't. If you have any suggestions of things to do or see, I would welcome them wholeheartedly.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Invitations for Delayed Receptions
Posted: Nov 1, 2009 6:53 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

There you go! I was confident that AOTB would probably have a suggestion! LOL

 

 

 

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