We think some gifts were taken from our card box...how to handle thank yous
Posted: Oct 29, 2009 8:14 PM
First off, I had a wonderful wedding and had a blast. Unfortunately, we think that several cards were taken from our card box. The reason we think this is that the box was located on the first floor of the country club where our cocktail hour was held but the dinner portion of the reception was upstairs, leaving the box unattended.
My wedding planner's assistant was supposed to move the box to a more secure location when the party moved upstairs. A guest told my husband a few days after the wedding, that he had placed his card in the box. We never got it. There are 13 guests (13 couples) that we cannot account gifts for. I understand if someone didn't give a gift, that's fine, but how do we handle our thank you cards? Should we just do a generic "thank you so much for sharing in our special day"? for those we cannot account for? I just feel bummed about it.
On October 11, 2009, my cop will forever be cuffed to my heart ;-)
The wedding planner was responsible for securing the card box, but did not.
I'd say that wedding planner should be the one to get on the phone and call people. She should say "We were supposed to secure the card box, but did not. I need to know if you put a card in the box, so I can tell the bride and groom it might be missing."
She should call everyone, not just the 13 you are missing. It's conceivable that someone gave you a gift and put a card in the card box.
People need to be informed right away, as they could have written checks and they need to stop payment on any missing check.
It's the wedding planner's goof. Let her be the one to make it right.
I am with AOTB on this one. I think the planner should be making some calls in the situation. However, since it is already after the fact, there is nothing to stop a guest from telling the truth. I doubt your guests would lie, but it is still possible. If Mary and Tony couldn't afford a gift and didn't put anything in the box, they now have the perfect chance to say "Oh, it must have been taken".
I have to say though in all honesty, this is why I HATE the idea of card boxes. I have heard so many stories of things going missing from the box and people stealing gifts. Maybe it was just how I was raised, but IMO, gifts (well the small ones like cards anyway) should be handed to the bride or groom when they greet their guests.
P.O.O.P.E.R. - People Offended by Offended People Executive Recruiter
The problem I see with this is what if the wedding planner calls a guest about a missing gift, and the guest did not give one? (Most people do, but it is possible). This will put the non-gift giver in a very awkward postion, and can make you look greedy since you're having someone call about a "missing" gift.
I'd suggest sending thank yous as usual -- acknowledging a gift where there definitely was one, and make no mention if one appears missing. If someone gave a gift that is indeed missing you will find out. As you put in your thread title, you "think" some were taken. Unfortunately at this time, this is not a known fact.