having trouble finding THE dress

Online Users: 0 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 21

dodgercpkl Posts : 130 Registered: 9/27/09
Re: having trouble finding THE dress
Posted: Oct 1, 2009 1:19 PM Go to message in response to: kels12

One of the best tips I can give is this:

Before you go into the store, throw out your preconceived notions of what you "know" look best or will be best. I went in "knowing" that a strapless gown would make me do the wiggle dance and that I would never want one for my wedding day. I walked out having purchased a strapless wedding gown that I absolutely loved and that I felt so wonderful and comfortable in! So try things on that you might not think in your mind are right for you. :)

And most of all just have fun with it!


ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: having trouble finding THE dress
Posted: Oct 1, 2009 2:50 PM Go to message in response to: kels12

Don't stress. Really - it's not worth it. It's just a dress - and if the date on your profile is correct, you have a year until your wedding, so you have plenty of time to find one.

I had a hell of a time finding a dress that I didn't hate. Yes, I hated most wedding dresses and hated shopping for them. The best thing I did for myself is to throw away my pre-conceived idea that wedding dress shopping would be fun and would be a great bonding experience with all the women I knew. I brought my most sarcastic, yet honest friend - and only her. She and I joked around and made fun of the dresses we hated, which made the experience more palatable. And not having to try on tons of dresses in front of a group of people decreased the pressure. So take it easy and say no to all the people who want to witness the moment you find the perfect dress.

Secondly, get all your pre-conceived notions about wedding dress shopping out of your head. Shows like 'Say Yes to the Dress' make it look like brides try on one or two dresses, find the perfect one, and then burst into tears when they see themselves in the mirror. That's just not true. Maybe it is for some people, but it wasn't for me and there's a pretty good chance that it won't be for you, either. If it makes you feel better, I tried on about a hundred dresses before finding one I liked enough to buy it.

I also want to address the idea that you 'just know' when you find the perfect dress. I was expecting some magical feeling when I tried something on, which was frustrating when I ended up hating nearly everything. In the end, when I narrowed it down to two dresses, I didn't have a magical feeling about either one. There was one I liked more, but I didn't like the price - so I was leaning towards the other. That's when my mom flew in to help me make the final decision. Since she hadn't been shopping with me before, she picked about a dozen dresses for me to try on before we looked at the two I liked. As expected, I hated them all - and she wasn't crazy about any of them, either. Then I put on the more-expensive-but-I-liked-it-better dress on and my mom knew it was the one. Still not liking the price, I tried to talk the other one up. When she saw me in the other one, she said 'Well, it's pretty - but you looked happier in the other dress.' She talked me into buying the one I liked better. So for me, there was no magical 'OMG, this is it!' moment. There were a lot of 'I like this one better, but my wallet likes the other one' moments. At the time, I remember being uneasy about having a practical reaction to the dress rather than an emotional one - but in retrospect, that's just the way I am. I'm not a gushing-with-happiness kind of person, even when I'm extremely happy.
One other piece of advice: For me, finding the right bridal shop made a big difference. I visited five before I found one that I was happy with. David's was just bad and had nothing I wanted. The second shop had incompetent and unprofessional-seeming consultants. The third was incredibly snotty, and the fourth had pushy salespeople that really turned me off. Finally, at the fifth shop, I found a place that seemed laid-back, professional, not pushy, and not snobby. I had such a great experience with my bridal shop every time I came in (there was even a pretty serious issue with my BMs dresses and the shop took wonderful care of us) - and from my first trip there, I decided that I was going to buy from them. Then it was simply a matter of finding a dress in their shop that I liked - and fortunately, they carried a designer that none of the other shops I visited carry, and that's how I found my dress.

Ok, this is truly the last thing I'm going to say: Don't feel like this has to happen in a certain way. On TV, brides try on two dresses, fall in love with the second one, cry and hug their moms, and then immediately shell out large amounts of money for the dress. Take your time to make this decision. If your shop is pushing you to buy immediately, walk out and find a better shop. Even after I found the right bridal store, I visited five or six times before I ordered the dress. I wanted to see both options on different days when I was in different moods - and I wanted to come back with different friends to get their opinions. Like I said, I fully intended to buy the other one until my mom talked me into getting the one I really liked better. I didn't regret it at all afterwards. Personally, I don't think any big purchase should be made due to an emotional reaction. Take your time and think about it for a while before buying.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People


AndrewJackson Posts : 3 Registered: 10/20/09
Re: having trouble finding THE dress
Posted: Oct 20, 2009 6:42 AM Go to message in response to: kels12

My fiancee didn't know which dress I wanted until she decided on the type of veil that she wanted to wear. When everything goes together it looks stunning, until then though there's always something missing! Of course I haven't been allowed to see the dress, so I am just saying what I've heard!

She actually chose a wedding veil which she absolutly loved first and then chose the dress to suit. I managed to find an online store selling some nice swarovski crystal wedding veils.


CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: having trouble finding THE dress
Posted: Oct 20, 2009 8:08 AM Go to message in response to: AndrewJackson

Andrew...get your story straight would you? Spam off!



MissApril Posts : 276 Registered: 1/21/09
Re: having trouble finding THE dress
Posted: Oct 20, 2009 1:04 PM Go to message in response to: kels12

Wow. My dress shopping experience was nothing like what you ladies experienced. I saw a sale for $100 dresses and asked my FMIL to check it out with me since I knew she was in the area. So I waited around for her for about 15 minutes, talking to a sales accociate about what I wanted. She insisted she knew the dress for me and grabbed it off the rack when FMIL got there. We were both a little confused. It wasn't at all what I thought would look good on me. Certainly had no hanger appeal. So we went through all the sale dresses, really just playing around. Not like I wanted to make a purchase on a whim. Then all that was left was the ugly dress. I must tell you though. I love my ugly dress that cost me only $83. It's amazing. Totally me. So OP, don't feel discouraged. I didn't have any wow moments or tear up. I just knew the dress was right. Also keep an eye out for the reactions of people around you. A complete stranger bought a dress based on my reaction, despite her mom hating it. She loved it and I gotta say I loved it on her so she made the right choice. And I agree. Wedding dresses do all pretty much look the same. But don't dispair. Do something that de-stresses you before and after you go dress shopping. Sorry I don't have any real advice but keep looking up you will have your dress if you have to design it yourself!
CoolStick your head out the window and smile for a satellite picture!Tongue out


jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: having trouble finding THE dress
Posted: Dec 25, 2012 12:27 AM Go to message in response to: kels12

Wedding dresses from famous wedding designers are promoting now.
Mori Lee Wedding Dress Style 4868 is just $359.99.


Janelle1025 Posts : 3 Registered: 1/6/13
Re: having trouble finding THE dress
Posted: Jan 6, 2013 3:57 AM Go to message in response to: kels12

Hi, I understand how you feel! I think finding the wedding dress is one of the funnest parts of planning the wedding!! Let me tell you how I found my wedding dress. Besides trying many dresses in my local store, I also check the styles online. At last, I fell in love with this one-shoulder wedding dress. I've never even seen my dress in real life, and having it custom tailored according to my own measurements, however, the moment I saw the picture of it when I knew that's it!! So don't set your mind on finding "The One" in person, you might spot something from the internet, and enjoy the searching process!
: )

Edited by: Janelle1025 on Jan 6, 2013 3:58 AM


Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine