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Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest

Online Users: 435 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 105

confusedsister Posts : 10 Registered: 6/9/09
Re: Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 2:55 PM Go to message in response to: myra

Thank you all. I think I came up with a good solution, guess I was wrong. I am not going to lie, like most of you said. I am just really not understanding why she is being this way. I understand planning a wedding is stressful, but I solved a problem, shouldn't that be enough?

I will wait to see if she communicates with me to take the next step. If my solution isn't good enough, then I just won't go. There really isn't anything else I can do...right?

california_san_francisco , august_2009
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starfish701 Posts : 465 Registered: 12/10/08
Re: Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 2:59 PM Go to message in response to: confusedsister

Well what I don't get is how she said she want an adult only wedding. Seems there will be at least one child there from what you said as she is acting like a spoiled two year old.
wedding tickers

california_san_francisco , washington_dc , august_2009
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SteffMay2009 Posts : 383 Registered: 10/22/08
Re: Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 3:00 PM Go to message in response to: confusedsister

Weddings make people crazy. It's not you, it's her. A normal bride would appreciate what you did to accomodate her request.


california_san_francisco , may_2009 , connecticut , august_2009
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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,300 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 3:21 PM Go to message in response to: SteffMay2009

Ha, Starfish! LOL!!!

preview image

 

 

 

 

adults_only_wedding
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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 3:29 PM Go to message in response to: starfish701

Point to Starfish.

 

 

 

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TanisJ Posts : 2,673 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 4:50 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Frequently used Bridezilla term - "It's MY day"
New Bridezilla Plus term - "It's MY day and MY city"

august_2008 , south_carolina
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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,593 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 5:16 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

This reminds me of that great Seinfeld episode where George keeps thinking up all the great comeback lines , hours after the fact. Starfish just came up with THE best comeback!!!

Ridiculous Sister: Why arent you coming to my wedding now? I dont get it,Im confused, waaahhhh.....

You: Im confused too. I thought you were having an Adults Only Wedding. But you are acting like a spoiled little child.


Seriously, I have NO issue with adult only weddings. But you have gone far and above the call of duty here, and your sister is acting like a jerk. You dont need to do anything else, including attending the wedding. If you want to attend, just tell the truth about where your kids are if anything asks. But I wouldnt blame you if you didnt want to attend at this point; after the way you have been treated in this situation.

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october_2006 , august_2008 , south_carolina
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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,963 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 5:24 PM Go to message in response to: confusedsister

I'm with the other ladies on here, and here's what bugs me about how your sister is acting:

As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing wrong with adults-only weddings. But your sister must think so. Otherwise, why would she be afraid that she would look bad? As far as I'm concerned, if you're going to have an adults only wedding, have one because it's completely within your right to have one. But by suggesting that you lie -- by saying she wants to make this your decision rather than hers -- she's suggesting that there's something wrong with her decision.

Really, it doesn't make any sense.

As for you, a lot of people wouldn't go at all if they couldn't bring their kids, but you decided it was important enough for you to find a way to attend. That is flattering to your family, and they should be grateful. Good luck. And I hope you find some time away from this wedding to show your kids a little bit of California.

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XYZ1 Posts : 367 Registered: 1/7/08
Re: Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest
Posted: Jun 12, 2009 9:03 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

ConfusedSister, everyone else has already said what I'm going to say, but I'll say it anyway: your sister has turned into a Bridezilla. Adults-only weddings are one thing (full disclosure: my wedding is limited to guests 13 and older), but for her to ban her niece and nephew, throw a temper tantrum when you didn't want to leave them in NC, and then ask you to lie so she "doesn't look bad?" She's gone over the deep end.

I say skip the rehearsal dinner and take your kids out to do something fun in California. The next day, attend the wedding, DON'T lie about where your kids are if anyone asks, and hold your head high knowing that you took the high road and your sister will (hopefully) look back on this and feel embarrassed about her behavior. I bet she'll regain her sanity and cringe when she realizes how unreasonable she was acting in the months leading up to her wedding. Good luck!!

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SamanthaBride Posts : 10 Registered: 6/17/09
Re: Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest
Posted: Jun 17, 2009 9:27 PM Go to message in response to: confusedsister

First of all so sorry to hear about your loss of your husband.

That seems like a very hard predicament and I hope everything works out for you between you and your sister.

may_2010 , new_york
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adoringbride1009 Posts : 45 Registered: 8/3/08
Re: Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest
Posted: Aug 27, 2009 10:25 PM Go to message in response to: confusedsister

Sweetie, I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you a huge hug! That is one of the most unfair things that I have ever heard of in my life! I don't care who the bride is or if she's reading this right now. That is 100% insensitive and rude!

I'm not having kids at my wedding either -- at least, we're not inviting anyone under the age of 15 with the exclusion of my FH's siblings. However, in the events that some of our close family or friends cannot come without their kids, then OF COURSE we're gonna let them bring their kids! One of our ushers is my FH's cousin; he and his wife have a three-year-old son and a bun in the oven, too. They can't come without their little Evan, and I wouldn't expect them to! They're coming from SD -- long trip, many miles!

I'm praying for you honey!

Soon to be his bride,

Rachel 

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him — and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. ~~Twilight
 

Till death do us part ~~ October 3, 2009

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october_2009 , illinois_chicago
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Srramlal Posts : 15 Registered: 1/17/09
Re: Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest
Posted: Sep 27, 2009 3:49 PM Go to message in response to: confusedsister

I just read this thread today and got caught up in it. Then I realized that the wedding took place yesterday. I was wondering what happened. Did you go? Did you stay home? Did you work things out with your sister? Was she just overly stressed out about the wedding? I thought after reading it that the solution that you offered was comendable and that you took the high road. I hope she was just stressed out and that you still went. I grew up with a fair amount of family drama and I understand that the way things "should" play out often go askew. But I hope that you both worked it out and that you got to be there for her special day and that she got to have you there for it. And that the trite, hurtful things said will eventually seem silly with enough time behind it. If not, I hope it doesn't forever become a rift betwwen two sisters who I am sure care very much about each other. I think maybe sometimes it's because we are so close and because we care so much that we get into these types of situtation. If you both didn't care that much, then it wouldn't matter if you didn't go. Or say that you didn't, then it wouldn't be a forever point of contention after the fact.

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alliethebride Posts : 5 Registered: 9/15/09
Re: Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest
Posted: Sep 27, 2009 6:10 PM Go to message in response to: MagicalMomentsP...

The rules of ettiquette were designed to allow people to know how to
behave in a socially acceptable manner. It is unfortunate that many
people have either never learned those rules or choose to ignore them.
Even worse, they are not passing those rules along to their kids.

MMP, you hit the nail on the head.

january_2010 , arkansas
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alliethebride Posts : 5 Registered: 9/15/09
Re: Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest
Posted: Sep 27, 2009 6:15 PM Go to message in response to: confusedsister

Confused, I hope you update us. You've were offering to do more than enough to accomodate your sister and she was acting like a brat. Please let us know what happened.

BTW I, too, am sorry for your loss.

california_san_francisco , january_2010 , arkansas , august_2009
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ChardaeJ Posts : 8 Registered: 8/11/09
Re: Hurt & Upset Wedding Guest
Posted: Sep 29, 2009 8:05 PM Go to message in response to: confusedsister

Its okay! You did nothing wrong. If it was me, I wouldn't go either. With your situation---hell no! You are looking out for your kids and I commend you for that. Some people would drop them in a heart beat. You sister is being the selfish one.

mississippi , august_2010
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