mother-in-law's "date?"

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anfeesgirl Posts : 25 Registered: 1/25/09
mother-in-law's "date?"
Posted: Sep 20, 2009 2:29 PM

my FH's parents are divorced. his father has moved on and is in a great relationship with a woman his age. however, his mother has not gotten over it as well. she has been single with few friends until about 6 months ago when my FH and i got engaged. his name is david and he seems like a sweet old man (a little older than her) but only hours after meeting him, the drama begins and hasnt stopped since meeting him. he's made a terrible impression on both of us since then and we are both concerned for her, but she is an adult and we cant tell her who to "date" or not. but is there anyway, without offending her (very hard to do), ask her not to bring this man to our wedding?


On October 9th, 2010, I will be Mrs. Anthony J. Fiore!


FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: mother-in-law's "date?"
Posted: Sep 20, 2009 4:31 PM Go to message in response to: anfeesgirl

I would ask you what specifically it is that you don't like about your Mom's BF. Is he obnoxious and loud? An alcoholic? Smell bad? Or is there just something you can't put your finger on that you don't like about him? Is it your FH that doesn't want him at the wedding, you, or both of you? What are your FH's reasons for not wanting him?

Unless you have very good reason, like he gets drunk and starts fights... stuff like that... I don't know how you can not include him. It will cause some very hard feelings. But if there are good reasons, then that is another story. So, maybe you can give us a little more info. Good luck. Francie

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer



Toast Posts : 480 Registered: 9/10/08
Re: mother-in-law's "date?"
Posted: Sep 20, 2009 5:30 PM Go to message in response to: FrancieElaine

thats a tough one.

i dont think i would freak out about it right now. you still have over a year, and who knows if he will even be in her life by then. ya know? or, mybe he will get better. sometimes people are just so nervous around others that they act like jerks and whatnot.

but, if about 3 months before the wedding they are still together, and you and your FH still feel the same way, I would have your FH approach his mom about it. I would not even be there when he talks to her....she might get really defensive if it comes from you.

but, as of right now, i would wait it out a bit.


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: mother-in-law's "date?"
Posted: Sep 20, 2009 7:57 PM Go to message in response to: anfeesgirl

Dear Amy,

Just wait. See what is going on when you actually finalize your guest list.

If FMIL is still going out with the objectionable guy, then make a decision then. Remember, it should be FH dealing with him own mom, not you. The final decision is FH's.

A lot depends on the reason you don't like him.

He's beating her up? Call the cops and hope he's in jail for your W-Day.

He's of a different religion? Consider looking within at your own set of priorities.


ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: mother-in-law's "date?"
Posted: Sep 21, 2009 10:20 AM Go to message in response to: anfeesgirl

I see that your wedding is over a year away. At this point, I wouldn't worry about it. He might not even be in the picture next year.

When the time comes to make the decision, re-evaluate your feelings. Overall, however, I agree with the PPs. Unless you have some serious reason to dislike him (as in he starts fights, is an alcoholic, or beats her), you should invite him, as she's the mother of the groom and they are an established couple.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People


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