destination wedding plus honeymoon

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: destination wedding plus honeymoon
Posted: Aug 15, 2009 10:20 AM Go to message in response to: happydefiant1

Dear Kath,

"Was AOTB's harshness really necessary?"

Yes.

I am a moderator on a legal/financial website. I answer only the financial questions, but read the legal side every day.

We see questions every day along the lines of "Before I got married, I had great credit and money in the bank. My finances got tangled up in my spouse's legal and financial troubles, and now my savings are gone and my credit is wrecked.".

What you said about the 80% judgment does not ring true to me.

I know you are not open for advice, but I'll try again.

Are you relying on what your boyfriend is telling you about the history of the court judgments? Have you investigated this yourself, independently? My suggestion to you is to take the story to an independent lawyer who knows the family law system in the area where the judgments were handed down. You want a lawyer who works for you and you alone, not a lawyer who has worked for your boyfriend. Tell that person what you know, and let them read any paperwork you might have concerning that case. Your discussion with that person, a lawyer in your employ, is confidential.

If your boyfriend has been totally honest with you and if the arrearage is just something that slipped through the cracks, then your lawyer offer you solid advice as to how to get this readdressed by the court. He should not continue on through life with something like this hanging over his head, especially when it is unjust. This will bite you in the butt over and over in the future. Applying for a job? My company requires, as a condition of employment, that each employee have a passport. Plus, we run a credit check and background checks on everyone.

If your boyfriend has not been honest with you, wouldn't you rather know now before you get married to him?

Finally, your lawyer might suggest you get a pre-nuptial agreement. If you do that, you each will have to have your own lawyer advising you, anyway.

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SweetSunset Posts : 159 Registered: 1/15/09
Re: destination wedding plus honeymoon
Posted: Aug 15, 2009 11:58 AM Go to message in response to: happydefiant1

Getting back to the original question, have you thought about San Franscisco/Napa Valley area? You can get married in Napa Valley and then Honeymoon in San Fran. The Hawaii idea is good too, but then you would have to worry about your guests getting out there.
Florida is nice, but I would stick to the west coast of Florida. Their beaches are nicer and the sand is softer. Look into Key West too. Its like our own little Caribbean island in the US. :)

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: destination wedding plus honeymoon
Posted: Aug 15, 2009 12:06 PM Go to message in response to: happydefiant1

"As I said above, I put the explanation in my original post because I knew posters would offer ideas of DW's outside of the US and was trying to prevent/weed out those suggestions from the start. I did not expect such narrow mindedness. But, maybe I expect too much out of people because I am not narrow minded like that."

Okay, it STILL wasnt in any way necessary information. All you had to say was "Im looking for locations inside the country only please, as we are not interested in leaving the U.S." Instead you said "due to my fiances situation with arrears..." or whatever. And again, when you do that and put it out there, people will focus on that word and comment. Its NOT narrow mindedness. Like MsD said, its just human nature.

Heres a fake example. Notice the difference in these two pretend questions:

1. Hey All. My husband and I really want to go somewhere on our honeymoon that has a really great family environment and that would make us feel like kids again. We would rather not do Disneyworld though; it just doesnt interest us. Any suggestions?

OR....

2. Hey All. My husband and I really want to go somewhere on our honeymoon that has a really great family environment and that would make us feel like kids again. We cant go to Disneyworld though (DH isnt allowed within 2miles of a disney,court ordered ha ha!) so please dont suggest that.Thanx.

You are giving the same information in both questions, but question 2 includes that tiny phrase that leaves every reader curious as to WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED in a disneyworld that your husband can no longer go near one? Is he a pedophile? did he push a child off a ride? Did he kill someone? What??? You better believe if you put that small tiny phrase in that question, 9 out of 10 people will focus on it and comment on it. They just will.

And as far as your question on what makes AOTB some supreme expert on everything -- I dont believe any of us ever said she was. What I said is that she has, like many others, given some good advice in the past, and that she has every right to post whatever she feels like it, just as the rest of us do. I even said that a good 50% of the time her and I completely disagree. But I still think she is a valid part of the boards, just as everyone else is. (Well except trolls, but even they are good for entertainment lol.)


If you dont want people judging your situation, dont include it in your question.


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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: destination wedding plus honeymoon
Posted: Aug 15, 2009 1:19 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Dear Kelley,

" I even said that a good 50% of the time her and I completely disagree."

That is true. I still respect your opinion.

There is truth to be found in honest disagreement.

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: destination wedding plus honeymoon
Posted: Aug 15, 2009 1:31 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

I disagree with you AOTB.
Just kidding. :)
Gotta make sure I agree and disagree with you an even number of times, to keep my 50% stat valid and true.

Check out the Wedding Planner Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com  

See our funny Wedding Wed-isode @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OokYNI91ztU&NR=1

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for standup comedy clips,sketches,and more @ www.youtube.com/kelleyfunnylady

 

Co-Founder and Proud Member of P.O.O.P - People Offended by Offended People.

"Children are just like adults, minus the crushing failure." - Stephen Colbert

  

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