Am I right.. or Bridezilla :(

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karebeartg Posts : 831 Registered: 6/25/08
Re: re
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 4:16 PM Go to message in response to: AnitaBeer

Hi. Since you seem to think you are entitled to be bitchy because your wedding is three months away, allow me to respond. My wedding is in less than 20 days and I still think you're being a giant bitch and blowing it way out of proportion.

YOU came on the boards asking for advice. People gave you advice. You didn't like the advice, so you decided to be crazy and blame it on them/your wedding being three months away. You need to grow up, get a life and stop taking people disagreeing with you so personally.

Uneven wedding parties exist because people don't fit in little cookie cutter boxes. But honestly, you don't want advice so I won't bother with the rest of the spiel.

Best of luck. Try not to let your head explode from overreacting to things in the next three months.

 

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CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: Am I right.. or Bridezilla :(
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 4:28 PM Go to message in response to: AnitaBeer

To answer your original question, I would say No, You're not right and Yes, you're being a Bridezilla :(

As the others have said, it is not fair for you to demand that your husband kick his brother out of the wedding party just because that brother's wife didn't buy her BM dress. You are being completely unreasonable and your FH had every right to get upset with you. As the others have also mentioned, there is absolutely nothing wrong with uneven wedding parties. It amazes me how some brides tend to put way too much emphasis on symmetry. Perhaps you were just venting your frustrations, which is fine, but then to come back and resort to name calling was completely out of line and I agree with Kelley in that you owe PTG and Cyndi an apology. They were giving you the unedited version of their opinion. If you require the 'rainbow and puppy dogs' version then I would suggest you preface your original message so that everyone will know ahead of time.

Member and Co-Founder of POOP:   "People Offended by Offended People"

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Heidibride30 Posts : 1,201 Registered: 4/16/08
Re: Am I right.. or Bridezilla :(
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 4:42 PM Go to message in response to: AnitaBeer

Anita, to answer your original question...you are NOT right, and you are being a bridezilla.

You were completely out of line calling people names when they were just trying to help. FYI, my wedding is in less than 2 months, but you don't see me spouting off at people that are trying to help me. I have 4 BM's and 2 GM. So not a big deal. It is more important to me that we have the people that we care about stand up for us than to have even numbers.

 

Proud member and S.C.A.T. of POOP - People Offended by Offended People

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Am I right.. or Bridezilla :(
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 4:47 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

Caribbean, thank you so much!! You just gave me the BEST idea for my client's wedding theme! "Rainbows and puppy dogs!" Its perfect. Why didnt I think of it before? Thanks Tobi!!!! lol.

Check out the Wedding Planner Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com  

See our funny Wedding Wed-isode @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OokYNI91ztU&NR=1

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for standup comedy clips,sketches,and more @ www.youtube.com/kelleyfunnylady

 

Co-Founder and Proud Member of P.O.O.P - People Offended by Offended People.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Am I right.. or Bridezilla :(
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 4:59 PM Go to message in response to: AnitaBeer

OP - You know what - I HAD advice - don't kick your FH's brother out of the wedding - I can see why that's upsetting him.

HAVE AN UNEVEN WEDDING PARTY.

So SORRY that my ADVICE didn't jive with what you WANTED to hear.


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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: re
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 5:02 PM Go to message in response to: AnitaBeer

Oh and Kelley's absolutely CORRECT. When I said no one cares - I meant about the uneven wedding party.

However, if this is how you ACT with your FSIL, no wonder she could care less about your wedding.

 

 

 

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Knoxvegas Posts : 951 Registered: 9/12/07
Re: re
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 5:17 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Answer to OP: BRIDEZILLA

You are the type that makes all of us look bad. Have uneven sides (we did). For the love of Pete, do not ruin your relationship with your FH's family because his SIL is flaky.

The only thing that can ruin your day is if you don't get married.

 

"Love is not a matter of counting the years -- it's making the years count."

-Wolfman Jack Smith

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JayKayinlove Posts : 33 Registered: 1/22/09
Re: Am I right.. or Bridezilla :(
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 6:01 PM Go to message in response to: AnitaBeer

if she's the only problem she's the only one who all the guys are getting thier tux with out a problem don't kick any of them it's just rude and yes she is being a pain so let her out of the wedding you don't have kick any of the guys cuz that is sooo rude if thier trying to do right. it's not 1950 any more unless you know it's the husbands fault the wife isn't buying the dress dont hold it over his head she's her own boss.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: re
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 6:21 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

Ya know, Cyndi,

There are days when you and I disagree, cordially and politely.

There are days when we agree.

This is one of those "agreement" days.

The OP is an idiot.

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cldeross Posts : 113 Registered: 6/24/09
Re: re
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 6:41 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

I don't think you are a bridezilla, but I do think you may have over reacted. The wedding is getting very close and the pressure is on, so now is the time for you to take a deep breathe and calm down. Your feelings are hurt and we all lash out sometimes we feel like we are being attacked.

So, that being said. I feel you have every right to feel hurt. She is acting like the dress thing is no big deal and it is! Go with the uneven bridal party. Mine is very uneven cuz I have a bunch of friends I want to include and he has only one friend he wants. So, I have six on my side and there are three on his, plus my son (ring bearer) Four on his side.

No big deal, no one is going to count the sides and say "Did you see that? She had uneven sides! Well I never!!!!"

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: re
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 6:46 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

AOTB, Gotta say, that post just made me smile. But then, the OP wouldn't know it however hers did too. My daughter just got her C Section scheduled, and it is aug 4. I am psyched so anyone that wants to may feel free to call me a "grandma" or whatever other name they choose, and today, all I'm gonna do is smile cause in 6 days I'll be holding Aiden. :)

I do have to say, though, we have disagreed many times but resorting to name calling and swearing, IMO, disintegrates the conversation and lowers the intelligence level and I no longer have time for it or choose to participate.

OP, good luck and I do mean that sincerely. This honestly shouldn't be causing you so much stress, which was my point initially.

 Proud Member of P.O.O.P.,  People Offended by Offended People

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Aiden
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 6:51 PM Go to message in response to: cyndi33

Dear Grandma,

I'll be thinking of you on Aug 4. Very exciting!!!

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: Aiden
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 6:54 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Thanks, AOTB. They also got engaged last night, late june next year. I guess I'm hijacking this but at this point, that's not really a bad idea!

I'll be back with pics afterward. On a new thread of course.


 Proud Member of P.O.O.P.,  People Offended by Offended People

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Am I right.. or Bridezilla :(
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 7:00 PM Go to message in response to: AnitaBeer

OP, I'm going to go with the others. You're a Bridezilla. You don't want to hear it, so you call us Bitches and Rude and Grandma, etc. You wanted us to say "Of COURSE he should kick his brother out of his WP. You're not being at all unreasonable." Well guess what. You are wrong. You're being unreasonable. And you're also really ungrateful for people who were giving you honest opinions that WERE being expressed in a courteous manner, until you showed off your Zilla.

Here's your real solution: Tell your FSIL that she will have the dress on the wedding day or she will not be a member of the wedding party. Period. From there, it is up to her to get it. If she gets it, great. If she doesn't, then she doesn't stand up with you. It's not the end of the world. People have uneven wedding parties all the time. It's not a huge problem. People will not think any less of you.

The wedding party members who caused me the most annoyance are FHs. However, they are HIS problem, not mine. I still have no idea what the best man's address is. I had to mail his invite to his some time girlfriend, our groomswoman. They do not live together. They sometimes are dating, sometimes fighting. I have no idea what their relationship status will be at the wedding. See... FUN!!

That being said, YOU do not get to pick your FH's wedding party. He doesn't get to pick yours. That's how it works. These are the people HE wants to stand next to him on this day. And you honestly think your BROTHER IN LAW (not even your BROTHER... your BROTHER IN LAW) is more important to him than HIS OWN BROTHER?!!!!! I don't care if your brother in law bought you a house, paid for the entire wedding, and set you up a trust fund worth $100,000 per year. Your fiance gets to pick who stands up with him. If you want him in your wedding so badly, stick him on YOUR side. Maybe you should stick your FSIL on your FH's side and put her in a suit. Then you don't have to worry about her dress.

We have had wedding party casualties -- I had a bridesmaid send me a heartfelt apology saying she had to drop out due to finances...and you know what? I sent her a note telling her how sorry I was, how much we'd miss her, but that we were not upset with her... we were worried about her, but we still loved her. (FH lost a groomsman too... the BM/GM are a couple) Sure, we could have said "You had over a year to plan for this. Why haven't you been saving!!" but that is not how you treat people you care about.

The bottom line is this: no one will think less of you if you do not have an even number of people in your wedding party. It isn't the end of the world.

And at the end of the day, as long as you and your FH are married, EVERYONE got what they paid for and your event was a success -- even if you only have 3 BMs to his 4 GMs.


Misty

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brownegirl Posts : 523 Registered: 10/14/08
Re: Am I right.. or Bridezilla :(
Posted: Jul 28, 2009 11:06 PM Go to message in response to: CatStandish

Ok, I had to eliminate a bridesmaid two months before my wedding. I had 3 groomsmen who had paid for their suits and two bridesmaids. To make the numbers even my officiant, at the rehearsal put my MOH with the final groomman and it worket out beautifully. You don't notice the missing bridesmaid. The pictures look great too. It is nothing to freak out about and you do not have to cut anyone.

Also, with the FILs, I've had my share of issues with them. You and FH need to stick together, not fight.
That which does not kill us, only makes us stronger. Innocent

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