We are getting married August 1 and one of our groomsmen is having a dilemma. Recently he is in the middle of being a victim of identify theft. He called up my fiance a couple of weeks ago and told him the situation to tell him what's going on and ask for financial help. Of course we are paying most of our wedding so we weren't able to help him in that way. He told us he would try hard to be in the wedding. After my fiance called me and told me, I told him to call him and tell him if he needs to be relieved of any stress he doesn't have to be in the wedding even though we would love to have him. I have been a victim of identity theft so I know how stressful it is. Well my fiance has tried to call him several times but we are unable to get a hold of him. We were going to tell him, he's still invited but if he feels its too much to be in the wedding then we understand. I should also mention that our wedding is a 12 hour drive away from where he lives and he lost every cent he had with this theft. now that I have 4 weeks left, I want to make up programs, confirm tux(I'm not sure if he ever got fitted), etc but I don't know what to do since we can't get a hold of him. I don't want to just write him out but I have other plans that I have to get done. Not to mention another groomsmen is waiting to see if they are going to drive together or if he should just fly separately. I want to be respectful of what he is going on and not be a pest by having my fiance call all the time. Any suggestions.
That sucks for him. Identity theft is awful. When you say you cant get a hold of him, what do you mean? How many ways do you have to reach him? If you have a phone number and email, for example, then leave message in both places letting him know that you both love him, want him to be involved in the wedding, but of course understand if its currently too much money and stress on his part to do so. Tell him its much more important that he get his identity stuff straightened out, and that you know how difficult that can be since youve been there yourself. Make sure to let him know that of course, you would love to have him there as a guest if he can still swing that. Then ask that he please let you know what he is planning on doing either way, as soon as possible, so you can continue to make your plans. Your Fh should do all these things, by the way, since its his groomsman.