Registry, card boxes and gift tables.. HELP!

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Sugarcreamcandy Posts : 2 Registered: 2/20/09
Registry, card boxes and gift tables.. HELP!
Posted: Jul 8, 2009 8:04 PM

Neither my Fiance nor I have ever been to a proper wedding or even a first time wedding so we are completely lost on how this works. I asked my mother but she had no clue, and I would like to keep things traditionally done.

We are indeed registering but my questions are:

  1. If we register how do we let people know where we registered at? I heard that its tacky to let them know in the invites
  2. If we register should we include a card box at the table for just cards? Will people think that its a money box?
  3. Should we have a gift table or do the items get sent to us before the wedding? How does this work?

Thanks for the help!

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carebearny1999 Posts : 1,253 Registered: 9/21/07
Re: Registry, card boxes and gift tables.. HELP!
Posted: Jul 8, 2009 8:40 PM Go to message in response to: Sugarcreamcandy

You let people know by word-of-mouth, or a wedding website.
You still include a card box at the wedding.
You'll likely still need a gift table, but yes, some items will likely get shipped to your house.
Congrats!

 

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Registry, card boxes and gift tables.. HELP!
Posted: Jul 8, 2009 8:48 PM Go to message in response to: Sugarcreamcandy

Shower invites can include registry information, but NOT wedding invites. Word of mouth, wedding website are other methods of letting people know. remember, if people want to know, they will ask--and it's ok for you, your parents, or your wedding party to tell them.

Etiquette says that people should send gifts, rather than carrying them to the wedding--but, not everyone knows that.So, have a tablefor cards and gifts, and make sure that it is secure--not open to the general public and locked up once guests have passed by and dropped off their cards/checks/gifts.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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TheNewMrsJ Posts : 754 Registered: 1/6/08
Re: Registry, card boxes and gift tables.. HELP!
Posted: Jul 8, 2009 9:44 PM Go to message in response to: Sugarcreamcandy

  1. If we register how do we let people know where we registered at? I heard that its tacky to let them know in the invites

My aunt and bridemaids co-hosted a shower for me and my aunt put together the invites herself and included on them where we were registered. Just make sure you put the right places on it, as my aunt included one we did not register at and while people figured it out eventually, it did cause a little confusion at first...

note that's for the shower invites - for the formal wedding invites, you're right, don't include them as that looks tacky and gift grabby. Since most people you invite to your shower are coming to the wedding, word will get around. Also let your bridal party, friends and family members know as well, so when guests ask them, they can pass it on word of mouth.

You can also set up a wedding website and include the info there as well, just let your bridal party, friends and family members know about it so they too can direct guests to there as well. If you want, as we did this as did several other friends who recently got married, print off a nice little insert saying 'visit our wedding web site' and include those with your invites. In addition to having a registry list on there, our site had our bios as well as lodging info and other info out of town guests might need to know.

  1. If we register should we include a card box at the table for just cards? Will people think that its a money box?
Yes, a card box is a good thing to have. Generally, from my wedding and ones I've been to, near the front of the reception is a greeter (usually close friend or relative not in the wedding party) who greets the guests into the reception and directs them to the guest book. If the guest has a card or present, the greeter directs them where to put the present or to place the card in the box. Just make sure you have someone keeping an eye on the presents and card box, as you don't want someone sneaking off with your loot when no one's looking (it's sad, but does sometimes happen!)

  1. Should we have a gift table or do the items get sent to us before the wedding? How does this work?
A gift table is a great idea, as you will get some gifts the day of. We only had a few sent us before and ettique states you don't open or use it until after the wedding (in the event something bad happens and you have to return it to the sender). We had a small room (our reception was at an old mansion turned social club) where guests put the presents, but I have seen people do a gift table as well. The greeter will direct the guests where to put the gifts, but again, make sure you have someone who is willing to keep an eye on your gift table, so as someone doesn't sneak off with any of it!

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simplebride2 Posts : 33 Registered: 4/17/09
Re: Registry, card boxes and gift tables.. HELP!
Posted: Jul 8, 2009 10:17 PM Go to message in response to: Sugarcreamcandy

Ask around among other friends and relatives for the etiquette of your area. I know that the "official" etiquette says that you don't include gift registry info in the wedding invite; but, I have never been invited to a wedding where it wasn't included. That is just how it is done here.

Likewise, I don't know of anyone sending gifts ahead of time.

I don't think anyone will think the card box is a money box. I've never heard of a money box at a wedding so I don't think anyone would assume that.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Registry, card boxes and gift tables.. HELP!
Posted: Jul 8, 2009 11:07 PM Go to message in response to: Sugarcreamcandy

Dear SCC,

Everyone has given excellent suggestions.

The idea is that you don't want to be in the position of telling someone, unasked, "give me this". A person could very well say "I beg your pardon!".

It is borderline OK for registry info to be included in shower invitations, seeing as how the shower is not hosted by a relative. If your shower is hosted by a relative (an etiquette misdemeanor, but common practice in some areas), then I suggest you leave the registry info out. If the shower is hosted by someone not a relative, the the hostess has nothing personal to gain by your getting gifts.

I'm fussy enough that I actually prefer registry info be left out of the shower invitation no matter what. That acts as an extra incentive for the invited guests to phone the hostess and RSVP. They tell the hostess that they are coming AND ask about the registry. Your hostess will get fewer RSVP calls if registry info is in the envelope.

Please do not put any registry info in the wedding invitation itself. That is a party that you are hosting, and you don't want to boot people in the pants for gifts.

You may, of course, respond to anyone who asks. "So, my dear, where are you registered? I'd like to get you something nice for your wedding." "Actually, since you asked, I am registered at Wal-Mart."

Yes, put some kind of card box on the gift table. Get something "opaque", that is so that no one can see what's inside. That means that if someone just puts in cash, no one will be able to see it and be "tempted". Make sure the gift table and card box are secure throughout the event.

And, yes, some people will bring or have delivered gifts ahead of time. Here is the best action plan for advance gifts.

You open the gift, make sure it's not broken, then write a nice thank you note to the giver. That way the giver knows it arrived intact and that you like it. Do not actually use the gift. Keep it packed up in its box. That way, should the wedding be called off, you can give the gift back to the giver, who can then return it to the store for credit. If you are getting "Mr and Mrs" personalized thank you notes for after the wedding, get a supply of non-personalized notes for your use in your maiden name before the wedding.

Once you are married, of course, you can open it up and use it as much as you like.

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lulling Posts : 10 Registered: 7/9/09
Re: Registry, card boxes and gift tables.. HELP!
Posted: Jul 9, 2009 2:00 AM Go to message in response to: Sugarcreamcandy

1. no registry information on the wedding invitation. I would suggest PLEASE put the information on the shower invitation. I recently went to a shower that was hosted by the bride's sister in law. I did not know her and had to RSVP by phone only (no email). When I called she was busy with her child/children and asked me about four times who I was and why I was calling. If the shower guests do not know the host it can be a little awkward. When it is on the invite I can just go to the store.
2. Card box is a must. The trick is to put a card box out that people can see the cards in (like a birdcage) and put in a phony envelope that you address saying "Susie and Paul" on it. Everyone will know what to do then.
3. Gift table you will need. Even if you only end up with 5 gifts on it those people will need a place to put them so that they are not carrying them around or holding them underneath their tables.
Congrats!!

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BriansAzBride Posts : 326 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: Registry, card boxes and gift tables.. HELP!
Posted: Jul 9, 2009 1:05 PM Go to message in response to: lulling

I have a question along these lines so I figured I would just put it here. It's about the gift table and card box. So I'm assuming it goes near the reception. What do guests do with the gift or card during the ceremony? My ceremony and reception are at the same place but separate places, if that makes sense (ceremony outside, reception inside). So do I place the gift table at the reception and people just carry if for the ceremony? I'm lost!

 

 

 

 I feel like a kid. Pinch me. This kind of love certainly can't be real. Oh wait, it is :)

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beachlovingbride Posts : 5 Registered: 7/9/09
Re: Registry, card boxes and gift tables.. HELP!
Posted: Jul 9, 2009 1:48 PM Go to message in response to: BriansAzBride

BriansAZ - The card box would be a part of the reception. Most weddings I've attended, it was on a table near the guestbook towards the entrance of the room, but you can really put it anywhere that people will see it. The people who are bringing a card will either leave it in their car during the ceremony and go get it before the reception begins, or they'll just hang onto it during the ceremony and drop it off once they get into the reception room.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Registry, card boxes and gift tables.. HELP!
Posted: Jul 9, 2009 2:45 PM Go to message in response to: BriansAzBride

Dear BAZ,

Where ever you put the gift table, make sure it's secure. You don't want Lightfingered Louie to help himself to a couple of gifts when no one is looking. Talk to the sales and catering manager at your venue about that. They do this kind of thing all the time, and know how to handle it. They may offer you the services of one of their hotel security personnel, possibly for an extra fee.

If the gift table and card box are some distance from the ceremony location, then there are several things you can do. One is to just put the card box near the entrance (perhaps near or on the table where guests sign the guest book), then when most have arrived, just get someone to take the card box back to the gift table. The sales and catering manager might assign an employee to do that, or take care of it themselves.

Another option is to have ushers at the entrance, who collect gifts. When they have an "armful", they just schlepp them all back to the gift table and card box. This is a good job for trustworthy teenaged relatives.

It's hard to be more specific without knowning the logistics of your venue. The sales and catering manager should be able to give you good suggestions.

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Stephy77 Posts : 109 Registered: 9/2/08
Re: Registry, card boxes and gift tables.. HELP!
Posted: Jul 9, 2009 3:15 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Check with your venue. Ours locked our card box in a safe after cocktail hour and I think that is pretty common.

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