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Broke up with FH

Online Users: 1,316 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 52


WinterWonderlan... Posts : 659 Registered: 8/23/08
Re: Broke up with FH
Posted: Jun 30, 2009 1:13 AM Go to message in response to: rubyred1

Bally, I'm terribly sorry to hear about your news. I know that you have great things ahead of you. The future holds bright things! Even if you are along there, you always have all of us girls to turn to and lean on!

october_2006 , june_2011 , upstate_hudson_valley , april_2009 , april_2007 , december_2009 , new_york , september_2009 , southern_california
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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Broke up with FH
Posted: Jun 30, 2009 1:16 AM Go to message in response to: Bally

Bally - I've already PM'd you but I wanted to say here that... I support you in any decision that you have made.

I wish the best to you - and my thoughts are with you both. I don't remotely think that you would enter into this lightly.

Email me if you need to.

 

 

 

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Broke up with FH
Posted: Jun 30, 2009 1:16 AM Go to message in response to: Bally

Ack - Double Post.

Edited by: PharmToxGirl on Jun 30, 2009 1:20 AM

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Bride2008 Posts : 3,059 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Broke up with FH
Posted: Jun 30, 2009 9:14 AM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Bally - I am sorry about the breakup. I hope you still hang around though - you are a great person to have on the boards.

 

 

P.O.O.P.E.R. - People Offended by Offended People Executive Recruiter

new_york_metro , october_2008
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auntofthebride Posts : 9,357 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Broke up with FH
Posted: Jun 30, 2009 12:13 PM Go to message in response to: Bally

dear BCB,

"basically she dated lots of great guys and was happy with them, but just because you love someone, doesn't mean you need to marry them. "

Very true. Very true. Repeat, Very True.

A lot of people do not learn this basic fact of life until it's too late. They think they have to marry someone just because they love that person. You can love many people. Most reputable religions of the world, after all, admonish us to love our neighbors. You can express love for your neighbor by being honest, caring, and helpful.

Even though you make an honest effort to see the best in other people, and to love them, you can only marry one person. Consequently, there are other men who are really nice, good people, honest, trustworthy, intelligent, that you love dearly and sincerely wish the best for them but you won't marry.

To take an extreme example, not your situation, but an illustrative extreme, I cringe when I read something like "He treats me poorly. He yells at me. His mother is terrible to me, and he sides with her. (etc etc etc) His brothers treat me like dirt, and he joins in with them. But I truly love him and intend to marry him. How can I get him to make a fundamental change in his personality and family relations so I can continue with the man I love without getting hurt all the time?".

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myra Posts : 5,555 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Broke up with FH
Posted: Jun 30, 2009 1:38 PM Go to message in response to: Bally

Bally, breaking up is hard to do. Believe me, people here on the boards are not just starry-eyed brides. They are people with years of wisdom and experience, including break-ups. My own daughter broke her first engagement about 3 months before the wedding--Thank God! Of course, it was painful and sad. But, the best for you is yet to come. My daughter's sixth wedding anniversary (to the right guy!) was yesterday. It's always hard when you can't see around the next corner to know what comes next, but, as the ladies here will reassure you, good things are waiting for you down the road.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

june_2011
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Lilmisssouthern... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/12/08
Re: Broke up with FH
Posted: Jun 30, 2009 1:58 PM Go to message in response to: myra

Bally- I am so sorry! Only you know what is right for you and if this is the right choice I am proud of you for making it! There are so many girls who just go through with it even though they feel in their hearts it isn't right.

As we grow older, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing that will never change about me, I will keep falling in love with you all over again every single day

Executive Recruiter and Quality Control Specialist of E.N.E.M.A A special division of P.O.O.P

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june_2011 , virginia , october_2009
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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,862 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: Broke up with FH
Posted: Jun 30, 2009 2:07 PM Go to message in response to: myra

A friend once told me that you meet lots of people and at the time you may not know where they fit in. You will have Mr. Wrong, Mr. Almost Right, Mr. Right Now, and then along comes your Mr. Right. Sometimes he comes sooner. sometimes later but he comes along.

I think we all have that person that compliments. You realized your guy was not that person before you two got married. You were able to end your romantic relationship at a place where you can still have fond memories and feelings for each other. That's a good thing that is the way all break ups should happen.

I married a man that I loved, I didn't like him very much but I loved him and thought that would be enough to get us through it wasn't not by a long shot. I am now married to a man that I like in addition to loving him. We are friends, we have been friends for a long time. A long time ago we dated and broke up because at that time we realized we were not right for each other. Later when we met again we were.

As the others have said stick around the boards are still a great place to hang out. We would miss you if you left us.

 

 

 

Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

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october_1997 , june_2011 , southern_shore_new_jersey
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Bally Posts : 355 Registered: 9/25/08
Re: Broke up with FH
Posted: Jun 30, 2009 2:46 PM Go to message in response to: Bally

Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice, it helps a lot.

Its hard..last night I went to bed without kissing him goodnight, which was weird. And today I realised I don't have to account for where I am to anyone anymore...Which is also strange.

It would almost be better if we did have an awful fight or something because sometimes I think anger would be better instead of a sense of sadness everytime we see each other..and to be honest its tempting to crawl into his arms again but that is not a good idea for either of us. I think me being gone for a month will be a good thing.

And never fear, I won't be leaving.....you guys need the token Irish girl to keep you all from butchering Irish names :P


june_2011
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auntofthebride Posts : 9,357 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Broke up with FH
Posted: Jun 30, 2009 3:52 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

dear KOW,

"You will have Mr. Wrong, Mr. Almost Right, Mr. Right Now, and then along comes your Mr. Right. Sometimes he comes sooner. sometimes later but he comes along. "

Excellent.

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Rose217 Posts : 475 Registered: 8/9/08
Re: Broke up with FH
Posted: Jun 30, 2009 6:41 PM Go to message in response to: Bally

HUGS

Can I buy you a beer?

Crap, sorry, I forgot you can't drink alcohol on account of your health.... Shirley Temples then?

MORE HUGS



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NatashaAB Posts : 353 Registered: 10/6/08
Re: Broke up with FH
Posted: Jun 30, 2009 9:22 PM Go to message in response to: Bally

Hey hun.

I am sorry. I've been there. If you want to talk, email me. nat_ab@hotmail.com

It is hard but you figure it out. I said it before and I will say it again. Sometimes love isnt enough. It just isnt.

You dont need to call/email/ or really tell anyone. We told our immediate families and from there it was spread and eventually pretty much everyone knew. And if they didnt, well they found out if they saw either of us.

For us, it was pretty much the same. It wasnt major problems but the little stuff that kind of pushed it over the edge.

Things happen for a reason.

Lots of hugs going to you. Its rough but you'll get to the other side.

Nat (21) 

What is meant to be, will be.

june_2011
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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Broke up with FH
Posted: Jun 30, 2009 9:43 PM Go to message in response to: Bally

Oh noooo Bally I'm so sorry hugs I really wish you were lying about this thread like you were with that other one when I thought you were telling the truth. Oh man, but at least you realized before the wedding that it wouldn't work out for you two. I'm glad you will still stay around here, I will miss you if you leave :)

That's scary. HOW do you know he's the right one? Maybe we all think our men are the right one and the truth is that maybe they aren't. Time can only tell I guess....
                              

 

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june_2011 , connecticut , october_2010
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CyclistLover Posts : 1,184 Registered: 7/9/07
Re: Broke up with FH
Posted: Jun 30, 2009 10:58 PM Go to message in response to: Bally

Hey Bally,

Sorry to hear about your break-up. Sometimes even when a break-up is the right thing to do it still feels like a knife in the heart. When I broke up with my ex-boyfriend of 7 years I knew it was the right thing to do but I still cried for days. A part of my life was over and it was painful.

As far as telling people, I wouldn't go out of my way to tell people - you'll tell them in time.

Hugs

Happiness is your doggy meeting you at the door!

I hope you don't get hit by a city bus Cool

I promise I'll be nicer if you promise you'll be smarter!


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june_2011 , michigan
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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,300 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Broke up with FH
Posted: Jun 30, 2009 11:14 PM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

Bally, even though it sounds like this is the right thing for you, I know it's hard. Even though you break up with someone it doesn't mean you don't still care about them or you don't have leftover feelings for them, so I hear you when you say how sad/weird it was to go to bed without kissing your ex. And I'm glad to know my previous advice helped you. You're smart and funny and you'll find somebody cool down the road.

I remember the first time I broke up with somebody how surprised I was at how hard it was to be the person doing the breaking up. I'd only been the break-ee up to that point, but I thought if you were the one doing the breaking up that it would be easy to walk away. There have been other times in my life since then that it actually was easy to walk away, but not the first few times. All that to say that what you're feeling is normal!

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