A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.

Online Users: 1,226 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 2,746


ryanne Posts : 1,042 Registered: 4/27/06
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 30, 2009 12:57 PM Go to message in response to: NessaRae615

Jeanie: I'm so glad you were able to get your church!! That's so exciting!

Nessa: Your whole sinus infection issue sounds horrible!! I'm glad they got it fixed though. I know I have sinus issues, but never anything like that!

So my tickers didn't work...

Time to try again.


Edited by: ryanne on Apr 30, 2009 1:11 PM

Reply


ryanne Posts : 1,042 Registered: 4/27/06
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 30, 2009 1:16 PM Go to message in response to: NessaRae615

Now they work!!!

I'm working on my wedding album now...I need to finish organizing it now that I uploaded everything! I will finish it soon and you girls will be able to look it in my profile!




Edited by: ryanne on Apr 30, 2009 1:20 PM

Reply


NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 1, 2009 12:18 PM Go to message in response to: ryanne

Good morning girls.....Oh my God it's May.........I am so not ready for it to be May....I only have 23 days to finish 184 things on my check list!!! My parents brought my dress to me yesterday, and now I need to find someone to alter it for me since its like 2 sizes waaaay to big!! And I can't really make calls today because I am still uber sick and have no voice. And every site I have looked at says start your fittings no later than 2 months out!! URG!!

Nw i am sad because we had to cancel our double date and our dance lessons tonight because FH says I am to sick to go anywhere, which I think he is right, I am miserable sitting here at work, at elast its calmed down here, everyone is in a day long meeting.

Ryann~ OO I can't wait to see your pictures!!

Reply


Autumnalis2010 Posts : 133 Registered: 1/12/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 1, 2009 12:57 PM Go to message in response to: Ariana1228

.

Reply


Rose217 Posts : 474 Registered: 8/9/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 1, 2009 2:46 PM Go to message in response to: Autumnalis2010

Ariana- I'd forgotten that you were living at home, so the issues about your unhealthy father are still directly affecting and hurting you. My boyfriend still lives at home and he hates it--he's grateful for the place to stay, but it doesn't feel like his home, he doesn't even feel safe to be himself there. Sorry you have to deal with all of the parent stuff on top of that. What did your mother say when you suggested counseling? You said you and FH want to build a house but you dont' want to live at home for the next 2 years...? I'm confused- when are you getting marreid again? (as in, when will you definitely be moving out) and would you consider moving in with FH, a friend, or by yourself if it meant being in a healthier, safer living situation sooner?

Autumn- Sorry to hear that your little brother is self-destructive in his drug use. I think that drugs- when taken safely and in moderation- can be alright, but I've got several high school friends who have lost any ambition or activeness to do something with their lives (from marijuana and other stuff) and it's quite sad. I hope that doesn't happen to him. Any idea when you'll hear about the Latin job?

Coquille- Finances are tricky and the only advice I can really give is to sit down and have a serious talk with FH about your finances, how you want to handle them now and after the wedding, and possibly draw up a budget. There have been on threads in other forums on this topic you might find helpful. Good luck!

Ryanne- My mom asked me just last weekend if I had a tattoo, which started a long discussion about how much my mom hates them. I don't have any because I think they have to have meaning and I can't think of anything (at this time) worth getting permanently inked on my body that I wouldn't mind fading or stretching.

Jeanie- Glad to hear the church situation is getting resolved!

Nessa- Hope you get better soon, girl! Then you can go on your date. Try not to stress about the alterations and when you're "supposed" to get them done, just get in touch with a good seamstress as soon as possible.

Congratulations to all the girls and their FHs who are graduating this semester!!!!



Reply


Autumnalis2010 Posts : 133 Registered: 1/12/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 1, 2009 3:09 PM Go to message in response to: Rose217

.

Reply


Ariana1228 Posts : 281 Registered: 3/2/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 1, 2009 3:16 PM Go to message in response to: Rose217

Rose - FH and I are getting married in 2 years, we are going to start building our house next year, but I won't be able to move into it until after we're married. I don't want to live in the house without FH and I really do not think FILs will let us live together before that. They are VERY strict. I didn't think that they would let FH and I go on vacation, but they did, but they have to lie to others about where we are and that we're staying over or something, like someone is going to judge us. My mom used to be like this, not that she wouldn't let me go away, but she felt like people would judge her as a parent, of course they didn't because their kids were doing the same thing and frankly it was none of their business!!! I was going to buy a house before FH and I even got together, I got approved for a mortgage and everything, but I couldn't find anything. Once FH and I were dating, I found a house, my old house in fact, and I wanted to buy it, but FH and I were very serious, but not engaged yet and I would be living in it with friends and have him stay and he wasn't comfortable with that.

All of my friends still live at home, so that is not an option. The ones that don't live at home are out of state living at school. I was thinking that my cousin may get an apartment with me (she's 24 and going to PA school and will be done in December) but she basically has her own apt. at her house. Her dad re-did it for her, she has her whole basement to herself. One other thing I was thinking about was that we have a horse, we are getting rid of the horse because it is too much to take care of her right now, not just financially but to be home to take care of her ... once we get rid of her I could possibly have the barn turned into a 1 bed apt for me for the time being and when I move out my brothe could move in. It is 2 floors, so I can make the top floor my room and bathroom and the bottom floor the living room and kitchen. We also have a lot of land so I can have my own yard kind of and have people over. That way I won't be in my house, but I will have my own space, & I have no problem paying for my own utilities and food and stuff, I just won't have to pay "rent" so I can still save up a decent amount of money. What do you guys think? Too close to home still?

Also my mom is doing better, I told her about the counseling and I told my dad and they might go together. I tallked to my dad again and he said he is not going to smoke in the house anymore, so we'll see how that goes, and he has been up the last couple of days. Like I said, we'll SEE

 

Reply


theblackdiamond... Posts : 18 Registered: 11/8/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 1, 2009 5:21 PM Go to message in response to: ryanne

Hey girls! Wow, looks like I missed a lot! At least now it's Friday and I can relax a little bit while prepping for next week. :)

Ryanne -- I'm so glad to hear that your Chris is doing better! I know how worrisome it has to be to see your guy sick, especially when you were already stressed about your living situation. I hope it all clears away completely soon. Also, it's exciting about your sister's tattoo! I have one, that says "Always Love" that I got when I went with my family & Chris to Florida, and I LOVE it. Chris, on the other hand, has a tribal tattoo that stretches across the left half of his torso (not where employers can see it!)... its awesome, but totally insane. Sitting there holding his hand for all those hours was ridiculous!

I'm looking through your wedding photos now, and they are GORGEOUS! Your hair and dress = amazing. Also, your Chris made for a very handsome groom. :) The first picture, the black&whiteish one totally needs to be framed over your future mantle.

Jeanie -- Yay! I'm happy you got things worked out with your church and that everything will be okay, and congratulations on getting ready to graduate! So exciting! Good luck with your pre-marriage classes. I'm sure they'll be a good experience for you two!

Nessa - Chill out, woman! Smile and enjoy your night in. Double dates and dancing lessons can wait till you feel better. :) As for your dress issue, wowza! I wouldn't worry too much though, because alterations people have to be used to dealing with wedding dress alterations in the last month or so. I'd just ask around and find somebody who you can trust to do a good job quickly. Good luck!

Autumnalis -- Congratulations to both you and your FH on being so close to done with school! All those last projects and details can feel so overwhelming but when it is over you can focus on each other and wedding stuff and getting your post-school life together! You'll have to tell me how nice it is on the other side, haha!!!

Also, im sorry about your brother. That has to be a tough situation, for both you and your parents. Unfortunately it seems like most people just have to decide to make their lives better for themselves, and no amount of pushing and prodding from other people generally works. :( You seem like you handle yourself very gracefully with it though.

Ariana - wow, I truly empathize with you on the living situation. Chris & I are in a similar one... my parents would never be okay with us living together, but we just do anyway and have to hide it, which makes me feel rather guilty. They're opening up though, we went on vacation together and they let us stay in the same room when we stay with them, so maybe the FILs will slowly open up. For some people it just takes getting over that mental hurdle. I hope it all works out! :)

...........

I'm just glad it's Friday! This has been a horrible week, but now it's through and I am so so excited! Friday is also usually Chris & my "date night" which we instituted so we can still "date" despite living together. I think we're going to our favorite thai place that we haven't been to in a while, and i'm excited -- the food is absolutely delicious.

I am feeling a little bit awkward about our living situation though... we live with another engaged couple, whose date was originally set to 2011, but they moved it up after we set our date to two weeks before our wedding, which was cool, I mean, I understood, but now they moved it up to this August, which is bothering me. I mean, I know they must just really want to get married, but we're set in a lease, the four of us, and if they try to get out of it i'm going to have to go through the mess of trying to find a new place for my last year of college, moving again, or interrupting their newlywed stage.

It all just feels really untimely. I know it's not my place to judge it... but still. Also, I think i'm a little hurt that I found out about the wedding date switch by mass email! I mean, we LIVE together! We haven't been BFF or anything, but it still feels a bit strange.

I guess I want them to do what makes them happy, I just don't want their happiness to cause me to be scrambling for a place to live!

This is going to be a big wedding summer... my sister, the couple that introduced me to my FH, and my roommates. Fun fun!




------- 

On June 5th, 2010 I will become Mrs. Ashlyn Brewer!

Reply


ryanne Posts : 1,042 Registered: 4/27/06
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 1, 2009 5:29 PM Go to message in response to: NessaRae615

Hey girls!

My pictures are now up if you would like to take a look! :-)

Nessa: I would call around to local bridal shops for referals. If you just got your dress in, you should be able to get it altered before your wedding. You can't help when it came in! I imagine you'll be able to find someone who will do it. Breathe girly! You're almost done!

Autumn: I'm sorry to hear about your brother! I have a good friend who got into drugs last year and it hasn't been good for her at all, needless to say. She tried to get clean a couple of times, and moved back home in January. Last month she moved out again and got back together with the guy who got her on the drugs to begin with. Last time I talked to her they were working on getting an apartment and were engaged. I haven't talked to her in a couple weeks, but she sounds like she's doing okay. She's been able to keep her job and so has he--apparently they're both really working hard to stay clean. I just pray every day that I don't get a call from her brother or her mom saying that she OD'd or something terrible like that. Anyway, all you can do is encourage your parents to stop enabling his behavior and to not enable him yourself. In cases like this, tough love is always the best way to go.

Ariana: I think that the "apartment" at your mom and dad's would be a good compromise. It would be your own space and it would be better than living under the same roof and getting in each other's hair all the time. I think I would do a lot living with Chris's grandma if we had something like that!!!

Chris and I have been doing a lot of talking about our living arrangement and our plans for the next year. We've been crunching numbers and figuring out how much we should be saving a month, and "assigning" my paychecks to paying extra on my car and a little bit on my student loan, that way it won't be so big when we go to get a construction loan and when I have to pay it back for real! We're even considering purchasing our land now and just living with Chris's grandma while we pay it off and build our house. We're seriously looking into it, and the way it looks right now, by the time we're ready for a construction loan, we will only have my student loans left to pay off. The land and our vehicles will potentially be completely paid off. That would be SO amazing! Chris is bound and determined to make it work. All of the sudden he's just raring to get out of here and really wants to at least buy our land. He's been quiet about it this whole time and now he's really excited. lol. It's kind of funny.

Reply


Autumnalis2010 Posts : 133 Registered: 1/12/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 1, 2009 11:49 PM Go to message in response to: ryanne

.

Reply


Rose217 Posts : 474 Registered: 8/9/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 2, 2009 12:26 AM Go to message in response to: ryanne

Autumn- Ah, I'm really sorry to hear that's the situation with your brother. I don't know if there's anything you can do for him but I know it's tough to see. I get what you mean about wanting the job to take care of itself; keep us updated. It'll all work out somehow.

Thanks for asking about the housing situation. I've decided on the studio and am kind of looking forward to it! The summer is also falling into place- between finals and Japan FH and I have five weeks together, the first three in my hometown so FH can get a bit more time at his year-round job, and the last two at my house because I start my summer job. We decided this is the responsible thing to do regarding finances and have postponed Yosemite until later...

Ariana- I understand that you want to get along with your FILs, but you and FH are both adults and they can't stop you from moving in together before the wedding. How does your FH feel about that? Another option, while you said your friends all live at home, if you suggest moving out maybe someone would jump at the chance. Just trying to help. ;) The barn sounds like an awesome option too. Being "close" to your parents is relative; if you think your mom would walk in unannounced every day that might be too close, but if they'd give you your space it might be okay. I'm very glad to hear your mom is doing better!

BlackDiamond- If the other couple leaves in the middle of the lease they're still legally obligated to pay the rent, right? How could you get kicked out? And personally, I'd feel awkward about the newlywed stage too, for about five minutes until I remembered that when to marry and where to live is their choice. They've put themselves in the circumstances so don't let that make you feel uncomfortable!

Ryanne- Yay for finally getting your photos back, for Chris being excited to move out, and for finances making it possible!



Reply


BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 2, 2009 9:15 AM Go to message in response to: Rose217

Holy shoot! I never get a moment to myself to talk to you ladies!!!

I am like...6 pages behind!

Rose* Did you ever end up deciding about the place with the roommates or the studio? There are definitely pros and cons for both. I would definitely get a pet. Greg and I are anxiously awaiting to get two puppies in a year...tooo long! Also getting engaged in Yosemite would be adorable!

Natasha* Glad to hear that you and Nate are doing so well! Good luck on the LSATs!

Autumn* A ticker for moving! That's so exciting! I need something big to happen in my life so that I can get a ticker. However....life is horrifically dull. Busy. But dull. I'm sorry that your plans keep getting so confused. That's what happens when you plan everything out so much. Life always sends curveballs. Nothing ever turns out exactly how you daydream it to. When are you going to find word about the job...and that test that you took? Greg has told me that we should stop planning so much stuff out all the time. We always just lie in bed and daydream and plan out trips and our wedding and what we want our homes to be like and our kids names...but then when it comes time for all of that stuff to happen...it will already be all planned out...and what's the fun in that? And what are the chances that it will happen just like we imagine it to? It would be a disappointment. So we no longer make big plans.

Ariana* I think renovating the barn sounds like a wicked idea. I know a lot of people who just renovated apartments overtop of their parent's detached garages and still felt so much more independent. An exboyfriend's brother lived overtop of their garage (he renovated it himself and it was absolutely amazing...) His girlfriend actually lived with him. Anyshoes, they were independent from ex's family but still obviously spent a lot of time with the family and "came over" for dinner a few times a week. It was kind of funny how it would be like "do you want to come over for dinner tonight?" and their door was literally 2 steps away from the main house's back door...which was the main door.
Don't you hate how parents can be so over protective about you and FH spending overnight time together? I'm pretty sure Greg won't be allowed to go on vacation wtih me...hopefully next spring break he will be able to...but it will be with a bunch of our friends + his twin so I think that would make it more alright. Funny that you mention your FILs lying about you guys going on vacation. Gregs sister has moved in with her boyfriend of about a year and a half, she says he's "the one"...it's all very legit--she is 23, he is 25 and they are completely and adorably in love with each other...and his parents have kept the fact that they live together a secret from family and friends. Only her parents, siblings and myself know of their living arrangement (of course other than their own personal friends and his family).

Nessa* I absolutely love the hair! It looks amazing! Did you make your own personal checklist or are you using the one on brides.com? I hope that you feel better soon so that you can get cracking on that list! I'm so excited for you!

Ryanne* I'm glad Chris is feeling better. I would totally feel the same way about living at FHs grandmothers. I love the woman...but that doesn't mean that I want to live with her when I am married to her grandson. I would also hate the whole "it doesn't matter as long as we are together." Let's be honest, love being enough...that's in epic romantic novels and old hollywood films...and life isn't like that. Sometimes...it just isn't enough. I hope everything gets better for you soon! Building your own house would be amazing. Greg and I talked about building our own cottage in a few years. I would actually rather live in a small house and have an amazing cottage than vice versa. I'm going to go check out your wedding pictures now.

Reply


theblackdiamond... Posts : 18 Registered: 11/8/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 2, 2009 10:27 AM Go to message in response to: ryanne

Ryanne - I am so glad your FH is getting on board with making plans about your living situation. That has to be so exciting!! Good luck in hashing out all the decisions.

Autumnalis - I love HGTV! Over my Christmas break, I pretty much just watched Property Virgins and House Hunters (along with some wedding shows, of course!). Be careful though, those can get so addictive. :) Congratulations on your move.. only a couple months away!

& thank you for asking about our date night! We did have a good time. Our restaurant had water problems, so we had to wait an hour, which means we just got to hang out downtown which was great. Downtown is the campus area, which is my area of town, but since he doesn't go to the university, i almost never get to go down there with him. Such a good time!

Your date sounds totally cute! Such a movie-like thing to do, glad you had fun!

Rose - congratulations on deciding where to live! I think that the studio thing will be very cute and a fun place to live. You can very much make it your own, which will be great while the FH is away. Living with other people can be great, but it can also be terrible, so I think you made a smart decision.


---

Thank you for the input on my living situation! The problem was that we weren't in separate leases, just one, so for her to break her lease, i'd have to break my lease, and then it would be MY job to find new people if I still wanted to live there, which would be horrible. Luckily, I talked to her last night and she's still planning on staying here for the first almost year of her marriage. I'm going to try not to feel awkward about it, I mean, i'm sure they'll act pretty much the same.

Ah, I can't wait for next year this time when i'm graduating, moving, and getting married! Go faster, time!




------- 

On June 5th, 2010 I will become Mrs. Ashlyn Brewer!

Reply


BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 2, 2009 11:44 AM Go to message in response to: theblackdiamond...

Ha so BlackDiamond just answered one of my questions!

Rose I think studios are awesome. I want Greg and I to live in one when we move in together. I also hear it's great to live on your own for a while. I won't ever really be doing that...I will go from living at home, to living in residence, to living with friends, to living with Greg. I think it will be a really awesome experience.

Also Autumn, my Mom and I are a fan of Location, Location and Relocation, Relocation....both on HGTV. I watch Property Virgins a little too. We are kind of addicted to real estate, design shows...that sort of thing. I love TLC as well...What Not To Wear...Say Yes to the Dress. Man I am addicted. I have however been getting addicted to modelling shows which really has no purpose in my life but I am following 3 right now...brutal.

so Black Diamond, correct me if I am wrong...you are living with a couple and they will be getting married and you will still be living with them? Sorry I haven't read a post of yours properly before and I am just trying to figure it out from your last post.

Anyshoes the story of my life is trying to get in as much plans with my friends and Greg and his family and my family before I go away for the summer. So hectic

Reply


Coquille Posts : 7 Registered: 8/1/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 2, 2009 2:40 PM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

hey ladies!!!!! thank you so much for the advice.... it is really helping me alot!!!!! i still havent talked to him about any of this because my life seems to keep getting more and more complicated....
here's a little brief on whats going on...... my mom has found the man she is meant to be with but he's married and he's family..... it's all legal and all but he's married and he's 13 years younger.... 9 years older than i am..... a little awkward but i truely believe that he is the one for her.... on top of it... my mom is 22 years army.... well she was getting a spot here in washington for my little sister because she has severe medical issues..... so the army hospital here has everything that caters to her specific needs..... well her spot was taken and now as of November 16th she and us dependents move with her..... to where ever the army tells her to report in.... well i can't move... i have to stay here not only for FH but its also my senior year next year and i would be moving in the middle of the year..... and i will not let that happen..... Im 18 so it shouldnt be a problem... hopefully... my whole life is here the school the man the memories.... so now i have to find a room to rent by the end of the summer..... get a car and insurance and cell phone plan.... and all this other stuff..... im scared and nervous and really sad..... and on top of all this.... my grandmother is 50,000 dollars in debt.... and my mother is going to end up paying for all of it!!!!!... today my mother has to send my grama 2,500 dollars that my mom had saved for my car because her and i share a vehicle..... so needless to say im not in the happiest moods... ladies i know ive asked for adive alot lately but i really need it now.... and support... thank you ladies....

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine