A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 2, 2009 10:33 AM Go to message in response to: Rose217

Rose* Bah you have no idea! The annoying thing is how the long the bus ride is. This one is 9 hours. So when I am heading to the station I am like "la la la la la i'm going to see greg soon!" But no. Not really. In 9 hrs. I think it's best not only to live together pre-marraige but also pre-engagement. I would probably rather take that ultimate test before getting engaged. It's a lot easier to get out of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship than it is to get out of planning a wedding. Greg and I are going to be renting a place exactly a year from now! Both of us are really excited about it. We will probably live together for about 6 months and then hopefully take that next step and get engaged. I always think that, that sounds so far, even though I am the one that made it like that. But cmon, being 21 and engaged is still pretty young in my opinion.

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NatashaAB Posts : 353 Registered: 10/6/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 2, 2009 10:57 AM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

Brighter- Where does Greg go to school? I think I asked this before but I have short term memory loss!

Autumn- Chace was like that. We picked our place together and I wanted to help with it and buy the furniture and it was our place, but he wouldnt let me. He gave me a credit card and told me this was the house card. Um, what? I was SO upset because I didnt feel like I was a part of this. I felt like I was some interior decorator not someone who was living there. So, I talked to him and I told him how much it bothers me and well he still wouldnt let me help with the house, I got to pay bills. I dont know anyone who is excited to pay bills but me. So, we worked it out and he paid for the credit card bills, I paid for all the rest. Then again, I was sure the credit card bills were more than the house bills! Oh, I miss my apartment. I am going to visit it today.

Nat (21) 

What is meant to be, will be.

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Autumnalis2010 Posts : 133 Registered: 1/12/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 2, 2009 11:51 AM Go to message in response to: NatashaAB

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CountryPrincess Posts : 673 Registered: 9/25/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 2, 2009 1:57 PM Go to message in response to: Autumnalis2010

I read two pages and there was a lot. Didn't take notes though because a lot of it just seemed like conversation and not really stuff to comment on.

Nessa: Those are pretty dresses and everyone looks great in them! I'm excited your wedding is getting so close!

Natasha: Wow! That is so awesome that you get to meet your bio-mom's whole family. That must be exciting! I'd be a little nervous though.

Rose: FH & I live together and have for about a year now. Before that we were long distance. I love living with him. Sometimes its annoying because we have some very different habits & views on how the house should be run. I wouldn't go back to living separately though.


Well...I have good news and bad news.

Good news: I'm going to buy my wedding dress next week. My BM and I are going to go look for BM dresses on Tuesday. Hopefully we'll find that dress soon so I can get a sample color swatch for the florist. I'm meeting with my coordinator on Wednesday morning to go over my vision. We're going to the garden & the ballroom so she can really see what I'm seeing in my head. Then I'm going to start looking at cake makers and florists. We won't schedule meetings with anyone til July for that but I'm excited to look.


Bad news: Kevin lost his job. We officiallly have NO income. I just paid off all our March bills & paid of two bills for April. But our phone bill is due in two weeks and there's no money to pay it with. I don't know what we're going to do. He just got paid on Tuesday but it was only $200. Our phone bill is $140. I'm so terrified I don't know what we're going to do. We have no source of money at all. There's the wedding fund but we can't use that money. Since my dad & step mom gave it to us it has to be used for the wedding & the wedding only. If I use it for anything else, they'll take it back. I tried to talk to my dad and he just got pissed off that Kevin lost his job and it wasn't doing any good to talk to him. So I called my mom but she's struggling with bills too since she's on disability. Kevin's family can't help us because they're farmers so they're always poor. I'm freaked out. I paid April's rent. But if we don't come up with money we won't be able to stay in our home. I just, I don't know what to do. Springfield is small so when a job does open up, a BUNCH of people are applying for it. Kevin went online yesterday and found food places that were hiring so he's gonna go fill out some apps. But I'm scared. I've been unemployed since January and still haven't found another job, that's how hard it is here! I don't know what to do girls.

"I don't care how much it hurts. I don't care if its a brick wall disaster. I'd rather fight with you everday than be happy for one second with anyone else." <3

Kevin & Mari: 11/09/06 to Forever.

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audra2013 Posts : 145 Registered: 6/18/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 2, 2009 9:24 PM Go to message in response to: CountryPrincess

Hey girls, I was just popping back in cuz I think I'm going to post a thread with all the dresses I have to sell now!

I wanted to say I am sooo sorry Mari. I can't begin to imagine how stressful that has to be for you. How's the roommate search coming...could that help? I have to say I was frustrated with your dad when I read this. First that he couldn't get past Kevin losing his job...hey, it happens! Second that he won't let you use wedding money to pay bills. How much sense does it make to not be able to pay your bills, but to have a wedding covered? You'd think he'd know that! I'll keep you two in my prayers and hope Kevin or you get a job soon! Did that last interview you had not pan out? Oh I'm just sorry you're going thru this right now. Let me know if you need anything!! HUG!



 

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NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 3, 2009 4:54 PM Go to message in response to: audra2013

Hey Girls! Thanks for all the complenments on my BM dresses! I am so glad all the girls loved em, and they are very flattering. I decided I am having a boobiefull wedding. The smallest chest on my side is a D! Rose I belive it was you that asked about my dress, I will post it for you!

DSCN0149.jpg picture by Nessabear615

SOrry I don't remember what everyone was talking about. But I need to vent! My parents are annoying the hell outta me....Well mainly my mom. My parents got seperated when I was in 6th grade so like 11 years ago.....because they wern't getting along....THen 3 years after that they got divorced. Fine and dandy, they hate eachother and make eachothers lives hell, which in turn makes my life hell (god that made me sound selfish....I am not I swear) So probably about 6 to 9 months after their divorce was final they got re-married (yes to eachother,,) They didn't even tell me they were planning on it, I found out the day they were leaving to Vegas that that was their plan! I told my mom she was making a HUGE mistake and to re-think it. (A little background my dad wrecked the 18 wheeler he was driving in 1997 and got a really bad frontal lobe head injury, the frontal lobe controle emotions and what not, and he developed a personality disorder, and the personality that appeared is a major ass who hates my mom.) My mom told me I was a silly 15 year old who knew nothing about love and besides the man she fell in love with was back. I knew he wasn't but hey I was a silly 15 year old who knew nothing about love and relationships... So needless to say about 2 years later (probably sooner) things started getting really bad between them again (who is silly now?) Things progressivly got worse (ok a little more back story, my mom loves to play vicitm and makes it sound like my dad is a compleate ass, which he can be, but she will be a total bitch to him causing him to be an ass, its a vicious cycle neither of them seem to notice...)So my mom was going around saying my dad was verbaly and emotianly abusing her (not to say he wasn't, but she wasn't as innocent as she made her self sound to be) Well she eventually got tired of it and left.....after my dad had realized what he was doing to her and was trying to make it better. She moved back home to Indiana and made me promise not to tell my dad she wasn't planning on comming home, she left him with the impression she would be gone 3 months max.....Well in that time I got closer with my dad and started hearing his side of the story (and realizing why my sister sided with him all the time) and I started feeling really bad for him that he was trying to do everything in his power to get my mom back and she refused. Several months passed and my parents were finally able to speak to eachother civially and started getting along great, but I kept reminding them of what happens when they are actually together....Again they refused to listen to me and my mom moved back in with my dad about a year ago. Things have been a roller coaster since...My mom is trying to get on disability because she has several spinal cord damage from a herniated disk, so she has no income, and my dad is on disability from his wreck, so money is tight, and they seem to fight about that a lot...But for the past several months things have been good and i thought hey maybe for once they can be mature adults and work this out....NOPE!! My mom is now complaining that my dad is abusing her again, and just called me to tell me that they are just room mates..... Its so frustrating because I can't tell her I don't wanna hear about because then she will turn on me and say I am siding with him and I hate her and just go off on me, so I have to listen to her whine about what an ass my dad is, but then I have to listen to her talk to him and she talks down to him so bad, If I were him I would have left soooooooo long ago!! Sorry this got so long, I just needed to vent. If I talk to FH about it he will just complain what a btch my mom is and to ignore it....My mom gets so bad about the whole situation that I almost don't want her at my wedding because I know she will be compaining to EVERYONE about my dad.....Again sorry I will end this now, THanks for listening!!

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MrsChambers Posts : 14 Registered: 2/2/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 3, 2009 8:17 PM Go to message in response to: NessaRae615

Nessa- Wow. That sounds like a lot of DRAMA. I wouldn't go as far as not inviting your mom to the wedding. That is a little harsh. Umm...Maybe u can sit them apart from each other. I don't like my dad but I'm still allowing him to walk me down the asile.

Audra- What dresses are u trying to sell?

KJ- I'm so sorry Kevin lost his job. There a some jobs posted for Springfield on Craigslist. This is what I found.... A part time receptionist, Home delivery news paper, Front desk receptionist $14, customer service.... And so on. I'm not sure if those are jobs u guys would be interested in. But u can take a look for yourself. Good luck. I know its hard looking for a job right now.



****okay. About the wine. So like I said me and kevin just started drinking wine. We have tried and like Asti Monte, California Montel, and (something else, I 4got). We hadn't tired Yellow tail so we went to the store the other day & bought. OMG. It was so nasty! I don't remember what it was called but it had a hot pink label. It's kinda funny. Ya'll should have seen Kevin's face when he tasted it. lol. I'll try another one and let u know how that goes.

        • Me and Kevin have been thinking about buying a house right now but we may be way over our heads right now. I don't know if we will have time to house hunt and plan a wedding. Buying a house right now just sounds so appealing. I've heard that if you buy a house right now the government will give u $8,000.

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NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 3, 2009 9:22 PM Go to message in response to: MrsChambers

Mrs CHambers~ I didn't mean I wouldn't invite her, it just sounds so appealing to cut her out of my life sometimes, but I can't I still love her, even though she is a huge pain in the ass

Also about buying a house, I forget what all the terms are of getting the credit, I do know you have to close by November of this year. If you guys want to look into getting a house, I would suggest talking to a mortgage broker, and see what they say. We did that, and thought we wouldn't be able to get anything and they would laugh us out of their office, but we found a great mortgage broker/credit counciler. Turns out we are quilified for about 30,000 more than we expected, and he told us what we need to do to get our credit scores where they need to be and what not. So we are looking for a house right now. But I highly suggest to any one thinking aobut buying a house to first speak with a mortgage broker find out what you are qualified for, and if it is realistic to buy a house right now. Good luck and let us know what you decide!!

Oh and Mari~ About the job hunt, have you thought about doing call centers? Like inbound call centers? THey usually pay good, and have such high turn over its easy to get hired with no experiance. I am assuming since you are a nanny that you have patients, and you are very nice and personable. I worked in call centers for about 4 years off and on, although they are not terrific jobs, like I said they pay decient, usually have benifits, and may offer tuition remburstment. Just something to look into!


Edited by: NessaRae615 on Apr 3, 2009 9:23 PM

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audra2013 Posts : 145 Registered: 6/18/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 3, 2009 9:47 PM Go to message in response to: NessaRae615

Nessa: I'm really sorry about the parent drama. That can be really really rough. I chose to cut my dad out of my life completely and now I have next to none parent drama, but its a very rough road to do that. So I'm not sure I'd recommend it.

MrsChambers: I am selling my totally brand new gorgeous wedding dress. I was the first person to try it on in the store, bought it off the floor since it was brand new and have only been in it a couple times. I also am selling 3 peridot BM's dresses and 1 FG dress.

Am I allowed to post a thread announcing that I'm selling those? Or is that like spam?



 

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Rose217 Posts : 474 Registered: 8/9/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 4, 2009 3:32 PM Go to message in response to: audra2013

Mari- I saw your thread in the NWR forum too and am SO SORRY to hear that Kevin lost his job and that you guys are in a scary spot right now. How did your nanny interview go today? Have you guys had any other luck yet? I think you said the job fair is coming up next week, so maybe something will turn up there. I'll be thinking of you guys.

Audra- I've seen other women post dresses for sale on brides.com before, so I'd say go for it. A site that is probably even better though is Bravo Bride: http://www.bravobride.com/ It's an entire website where women can sell pre-owned wedding items. I've never purchased or sold anything, but it looks legit.

Nessa- Your dress looks beautiful! I was wondering what you meant when you said, "The smallest chest on my side is a D." I've been following the Plus Size Brides thread you started (great idea!) and my main concern in shopping for clothes, especially a wedding dress, is one that will fit my bust, because it is misproportiate to the rest of my body. I hate my breasts. Any advice or things I should know before I go dress shopping in the distant future? Also, I'm sorry to hear about your issues with the parents. You can vent anytime! Maybe you could have a trusted family member who's close to your mom keep an eye on her during your wedding day, and if there's even a hint of trouble brewing they could distract your mom or take her outside for a breather?

MrsChambers- Hi again! Lol, I never said Yellow Tail was good, just that I had tried it once. At least you got a good laugh at FH's face though, hehe! I went out last night and had a vodka cranberry, something I've only tasted when my friends order it, but it was pretty good. And it had cranberry juice so I felt good pretending that I was being a teeny bit healthy, lol.


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thecarrotflower Posts : 34 Registered: 9/8/07
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 4, 2009 7:23 PM Go to message in response to: Rose217

Hello Everyone!
It has been a while. I have been so busy with wedding details it is crazy! So I haven't had much time to stop in recently.

So here we go, a quick catch up.

KJ- I am so sorry that FH lost his job! I hope things start working in your favor so and that one of you is able to get a job. I will keep you in my prayers. Have you figured out anything for your BM to hold? Maybe look into seasonal flowers or something inexpesive. My flowers, including all bouquets and center peice flowers only cost me $217. I just desided that we would have smaller bouquets and seasonal wild flowers instead of roses or expesive flowers. I also am having my bouquets rapped with raffia instead of fabric.

Nessa- Firstly you look great in your dress! It fits you very well and is very flattering. Only a month and 2 weeks until you tie the knot! I am so excited for you. About your parents. I am sorry about all the drama that is NEVER fun to deal with I hope that things are able to resume peacefully and that your mother is able to calm down about things so that she doesn't cause you to much stress.

Autum- I am not sure how the house problem is going but I can understand your frustration. It feels as though he not wanting you to help out that maybe he doesn't see himself with you the way you see yourself with him. I would say tell him how it makes you feel and that if he doesn't let you help pay that you would like to put some money into the house. I know that Ben likes to be able to provide and that he would feel bad making me pay at all if he could pay for it himself. It makes him feel like he is caring for me. Maybe that is how your man feels.

Rose- About living together. Ben and I have choosen to wait till after marriage. We have been together for two years and we see a lot of eachother...people call his house for me before they ever call mine. It is just that Ben and I are not having sex till marriage and don't want to be tempted by sleeping together. Don't get me wrong there have been times where I have just been to tired to drive him and I crash on his bed for the night but lets just say my parents don't appreaciate that at all. I totally understand why people do live together before marriage and how in some ways that is a very possitive thing to do but in Ben and I's case not living together was the best thing for us. The thing we look forward to most is waking up beside eachother and falling asleep in eachothers arms. The fact that I don't have to leave every night.

So, quick update on the wedding planning. I have got so much done this week it is great.
-Okay so I finally finished my invites...well at least one part of them. I silk screened all of them yesterday and so all that we have left to do is cut the cardstock into the two invites and decorate the back, and of course send them away!
-Also today Ben and I ordered both his ring and my ring! I am so excited about it.
-My mom and I have booked the caterer...they are just going to be making salads and we are going to have hamburgers otherwise.
-I have talked to my ring bears mom and have discussed his outfit. I also found shoes for him at a kids store in town.
-I have talked to my florist and finalized all the bouquets and flowers for the centerpieces.
-I have gotten cake towers or my cup cakes...they are so cute and totally go with the teapot centerpieces.
I finally feel like I have gotten things under control.

On the down side. You know how I a LONG time ago I was telling about the problem with one of my "friends". Well her and her bf have been talking about getting engaged and I could totally see it happening at my wedding. She loves to take attention away from people and make herself the most important one in the room. She works with two other of my friends at a shoe store and one of them is engaged and the other one just found out she is pregnant. Well she has now started talking about her plans with her bf all the time and tells the friend who is pregnant that she is over reacting about her morning sickness and that it is all in her head. I just don't want her to create havok at my Wedding. It is my big day and it is supposed to be about Ben and me, NOT her. Help!

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CountryPrincess Posts : 673 Registered: 9/25/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 5, 2009 3:23 PM Go to message in response to: thecarrotflower

I didn't read anything because I'm too freaking excited right now! I JUST GOT A JOB!!! Its a part time nanny position. The pay is only $90/week but since its part time I can pick up another job if I find one. Plus the baby girl is only 8 weeks old so she's going to sleep most the day and I can do my homework. Its also literally 2 blocks from my house so I won't waste money in gas. Kevin has an interview tomorrow at a cell phone repair shop. Thank you everyone for keeping us in your thoughts & prayers....God's really been listening!!

On a wedding note: Tuesday I'm going to look at BM dresses with one of my BMs. Wednesday I'm meeting with the coordinator to go over decorating ideas.


I promise I will come back later and reply to everyone.


"I don't care how much it hurts. I don't care if its a brick wall disaster. I'd rather fight with you everday than be happy for one second with anyone else." <3

Kevin & Mari: 11/09/06 to Forever.

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Rose217 Posts : 474 Registered: 8/9/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 5, 2009 11:08 PM Go to message in response to: thecarrotflower

Carrot- Good for you and Ben, if that living situation is what you guys want then it's perfect. :) Your invites sound really cool, if you felt like posting pictures or a description/explanation I'd love to see it! I'd like to make my own someday too. Sounds like you're making great progress on all the planning, when is your wedding? ...Hey cool, I just noticed under your picture it says "WI." Me too!

Mari- YAY CONGRATULATIONS!!! I'm so happy for you and your new job! It's so convenient that it's close to your house too! Have fun shopping for the BM dresses! Have you had any luck finding your dream dress cheaper online?

Brighter- Hey girl, so are you back home yet? Thinking about you cause it's a Sunday night and I always feel depressed and unmotivated during this time if I've just said goodbye to my boyfriend. I hope you had a great weekend and do share all the fun highlights!

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CountryPrincess Posts : 673 Registered: 9/25/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 6, 2009 1:10 AM Go to message in response to: Rose217

Hey ladies!
I'm sorry I haven't been in here as much as usual...life has been a roller coaster for me lately. It seems like everyone in here is doing well though.
BM dress shopping got canceled for Tuesday. So I have my crappy MOH and 2 BMs. One of which is FHs younger sister and is 12. So I call FHs cousin my main BM since she's the one helping me with everything. Well...we found out tonight that she's pregnant. She's 18. Her period was over a month late and her boobs were starting to grow & be sore. So I finally convinced her to go take a pregnancy test. Tonight has been crazy. She knew immediately that she wanted an abortion and has always said she'd have one if she got pregnant young. But no place in our area does abortions. So we had to go online and find a clinic. Its 3 hours away. Nobody else knows she's pregnant besides me & we're keeping it that way. Since we both had taken Tuesday off work to go BM dress shopping, we've decided to go get her abortion that day instead. We'll figure out another day for dresses, this is way more important.
Anyway...that is what's going on right now. My first day of work is tomorrow & FHs interview is tomorrow afternoon!

"I don't care how much it hurts. I don't care if its a brick wall disaster. I'd rather fight with you everday than be happy for one second with anyone else." <3

Kevin & Mari: 11/09/06 to Forever.

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Apr 6, 2009 2:17 AM Go to message in response to: CountryPrincess

sorry I just read the last little bit because I am so tired so basically this is towards Mari because her life has been NUTS. I will comment more tomorrow I swear!

First off, thank goodness for that nannying job! I sure hope you like babies! That's awesome that you got that and honestly, every little bit of income counts! How about Kevin? Has he heard back from the cellphone repair place? I'm so sorry that all that happened to you but hopefully now it's time for some good things! Of course, Kevin's cousin being pregnant is the opposite of ideal! Poor, poor girl. I can't even imagine. Everytime I am late I have a million thoughts going through my head. My natural reaction is usally "I would have an abortion." But honestly, the more I think about it, I'm not sure if I would be able to do it. I would be like Juno. I would get to the clinic and then just peace out right away. I don't even know what would happen with Greg and what he would think. Does she have a boyfriend? Or was it just a kind of random or somebody new? Even when abortion seems like the best answer, I can't imagine how hard it would be. I hope everything goes smoothly and that she is alright. You two are lucky to have each other! You are both so supportive!

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