A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.

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thecarrotflower Posts : 34 Registered: 9/8/07
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Mar 22, 2009 2:14 PM Go to message in response to: NatashaAB

Natasha- Sounds like you had a really good time on your trip. It really must have been awkward at times but, you seem like someone who would be able to deal with it well. I am glad that you were finally able to get things figured out with the whole chase, julian, triangle thing. Being single can be really hard when you are so used to being one of two but I hope it isn't to hard for you and that you are able to figure things out and get a strong knowing of what you want.

KJ- I agree with letting your MOH decide what is going to happen, but at the same time is she is being a complete flake I'd say you have the right to tell her she isn't doing what she is supposed to do as the MOH and you that you need someone who will take on those resposibilities so you have chosen someone else and that she can be you BM is she still wants to be part of the wedding. She hasn't made you a priority at all and that isn't fair to you! If I could go back and do it all over I would have made my sister my MOH and my MOH my BM but I only have four months left so really it is stupid of me to do that now it would wreck my relationship with my MOH and I don't want to do that.
EXCITING! Wedding dress shopping is so fun! The dress I ended up gettin was the first one I tried on! It was perfect! Hopefully it isn't to hard to find. It is really sweet that your new BM decided to spend her one free day helping you find a wedding dress. She sounds like a real sweetheart! About the whole suit situation I don't know what to do! Ben and I bought the groomsmens outfits online and don't have to deal with problems surrounding that. I'd just say that this time it isn't your responsibility, this time it is Kevin's. Tell Kevin the problem and ask for him to deal with it appropriately. You have had to deal with more than enough stress with your MOH.

Audra- Totally agree with KJ if we could find a list of Bridezilla demands and print them out to show our BM's and MOH maybe they would appreciate how resonable we are. I will definantly look into that!

As for me, not to much more going on right now. I know it sounds like a good idea to get a custom ring made for me but it is just that FH and I don't have the money to be able to do that. I need to find a nice ring that works well with my engagment rigt. I found one that I like online and it comes in my size. We will just have to see. Something dainty and pretty. I have gone to every store in town and come up with nothing that looks good with the rng I have. I'd rather find a good price online that pay way more than we have budgeted for. I have been reading the reviews for this one place and it looks pretty decent.

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NatashaAB Posts : 353 Registered: 10/6/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Mar 22, 2009 4:53 PM Go to message in response to: thecarrotflower

While I was gone, I recorded a bunch of shows so I could catch up and one of them was Say Yes to The Dress. One girl bought a wedding dress for 27000$. I dont care if I had enough money to sleep on it, I would never spend that much on a dress for one day! That is SUPER ridiculous!

Nat (21) 

What is meant to be, will be.

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Mar 22, 2009 5:20 PM Go to message in response to: NatashaAB

Nat* Your trip sounded absolutely amazing! And I am sooo glad you are not pregnant! Pregnancy scares and the absolute worst! I used to have a series of mini aneurysms whenever I was late. Also, I think it was great that you have decided to be single. You are young! And just got out of a HUGE relationship! It is definitely the time to just chill and have a good time and not feel tied down to anybody. I'm glad Julian was so understanding. How was Chace about all of it?

KJ* ooo dress shopping in just a couple of days! try to take some pictures if you can! i'm so happy that FHs cousin is being so supportive. Also, i think it is a good idea that you are not going to cut out your MOH, but letting her be the person who does it. But what if it gets to the point where she is just so unsupportive and you don't want her standing by your side. There is no way I would want my MOH to be my MOH if she was acting the way yours does!

Carrot* Don't you hate how a custom ring sounds like such a great idea...but then it doesn't end up being all that great? I'm sure your ring is gorgeous though! Hmmm whereabouts do you live in Canada? I might be able to think of some good ideas for stores and such, are you looking for a custom wedding band then to go with the custom made ring?

So quick update on my life! Greg is back to normal! Thank goodness! No more "Tony Robbins" craziness! I think somebody wanted to know who he was--he is a self-help motivator and he holds seminars and workshops across the US. It just seems like such a scam to me and I don't support a lot of his ideas.
Also, I have not talked to Greg's brother again.
Here is some insanity! So I was in one super serious relationship before Greg and I was absolutely in love with him and it took me forever to get over him after we broke up. Anyways, he lives in this tiny town of like 5000 people which is about 3 hours away from me. I was hanging out with some friends this weekend and a friend of a friend came over and it was his next door neighbour! It was so bizarre. So we got to talking about the family and such and I am pretty updated on my ex's life right now! Now something crazier than that coincidence, I by accident texted him (his name is Mike and I have 3 Mike's in my phone.) My number is different now, I had to change when I went to University. So he kept calling me being like "who is this?" and i just freaked out and never said anything. I texted him later saying "sorry. wrong person." and he kept asking questions to try and figure out who i was and stuff but i never told him. I just never got real closure from that relationship, Greg was my closure. I met Greg and got over Mike. It was so weird to hear his voice, I haven't heard it in over a year. Anyways, I had a little breakdown because I once thought I would marry him and it was just so bizarre....

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audra2013 Posts : 145 Registered: 6/18/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Mar 22, 2009 10:26 PM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

Natasha: Thanks for the prayers, their family really needs them. Today at work that song only the good die young was playing and I started crying : ( then later my manager asked me about Whitney and I cried again lol. I'm a basketcase. That trip sounds like soo much fun despite the awkwardness. Did Chace seem to care when you were with Julian? It's good that you finally decided something with Chace instead of it being an in between where you could possibly get back together or not. I bet its nice to have it decided once and for all.

KJ: I agree with carrotflower, I would have kevin handle the GM. I'm so excited to see pictures of you in dresses! Bring the camera :D. I took the day off work for this Saturday as well, we have to meet with our florist and I'm hoping to get our rings picked out too.

Carrotflower: I'd love to see pics of your ring and of the band you're looking at online, if you don't mind sharing! That way if the band you found doesn't pan out, we'll all know what you're looking for and what the ring looks like and we can keep our eyes open for ya.

Brighter: Wow that is bizarre. Are you feeling ok now, or have your unhappy break up feelings come back to haunt you?

I have a similar story, I have this guy that we never dated we were just fooling around I guess, and we never got the chance to date but I really really liked him so I always think of him as the one who got away. Anyway he was there at the funeral Friday and woosh all the feelings came back and made me feel like I was going to throw up lol. Awkward!




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NatashaAB Posts : 353 Registered: 10/6/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Mar 22, 2009 10:28 PM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

I Have to get this off my chest. I cant tell anyone in my family because no one is supposed to know. My sister wasnt even supposed to tell me but she did cuz we always tell each other everything.

Apparently, my aunt is cheating on my uncle. Which is amazing because they have been together forever! If you only knew them, they are SO perfect together. I didnt believe it though but everything I am hearing points to it being true. So, he found out and I heard he is going crazy. Literally. They say one minute he will be fine and the next he wants to kill himself and her and he's so mentally unstable. They have 4 kids together (my cousins) and this is absolutely ridiculous. I am SO pissed if it is true because my uncle Ray is such a gem. He is the most stand up person ever and I love him. Why would anyone screw over their family for a guy?

Nat (21) 

What is meant to be, will be.

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thecarrotflower Posts : 34 Registered: 9/8/07
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Mar 22, 2009 10:51 PM Go to message in response to: NatashaAB

Natash- That is hard. I have been through something similar recently. My Uncle was caught cheating on his wife. They have two beautiful little girls who both are still toddlers (only 13 months appart) and it is such a tragedy. My Uncle has never really been close to the family (He is the one that is biologically realated) and so once he got married he became closer to the family because my Aunt Sheri wanted to be. My Aunt Sheri lost her brother a few years back like 5 or something and she was really excited to have that close knit family feeling our family has. Anyway earlier this year my Uncle was caught cheating and she went to live with her parents and has isolated herself from the family since. It just breaks my heart that my uncle could do something to someone so kind and generous and in so many ways hurt his children. So in many ways I can understand but at the same time since I didn't have much time to get to my Aunt I can't say I am as affected by it as you. Hope that you get to hear the truth about what exactly is going on soon. I am sorry about the pain that you and your family is going through.


Edited by: thecarrotflower on Mar 22, 2009 11:01 PM

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Mar 23, 2009 9:37 AM Go to message in response to: NatashaAB

Nat* I'm guessing a midlife crisis. There are a few possibilities about why she is doing what she is doing.
A) She has realized that over half her life has gone by and she's freaking out. This is usually when people look for something to change in their lives.
B) She feels as though her life is perfect and she is scared of some outside source coming in and taking it away from her, so she is controlling the imperfection herself. Perfection can be scary
C) She isn't as in love with him as she made it appear

All of them are horrible and sad, especially for your Uncle.
I went through something similar recently, except it was my parents. He wasn't happy but acted like he was to my Mom. The whole town thought that they were ridiculously in love, meanwhile he called up an exgirlfriend from 25 years ago and they had a 2 year affair and are still going strong. We found out in October.
It will be hard at first, I know my cousins had a lot of time accepting what has happened, some of them still haven't. It does get better though. I promise.

Keep us updated on what happens. I hope they are able to work things.

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NatashaAB Posts : 353 Registered: 10/6/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Mar 23, 2009 10:26 AM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

I saw them together in July in Florida when his dad died. I can read people easier than a book. You can come to me with a smile on your face, but if there is something wrong, I INSTANTLY know it. I do it all the time with people. They were so fine together. We had driven and my uncle and my aunt dragged me in their car and they were so happy and we were talking and laughing. I dont care if she thought her life was too perfect, or she wasnt happy, dont be selfish. I am sorry. She is not only ruining her family but our entire family. All of us are like one big family. We introduce each other as brothers and sisters because that is how close we are. So, what happens now? We dont get to see my uncle? She ruins his life and takes away everything from him? What about my cousins? What happens with them? Do they move back to Canada? Do they stay there?

I feel like I FINALLY found myself again and I was working on it because I have been seriously under the weather lately and not much of myself since September. Then, this falls. I know it isnt my parents but close enough.

Nat (21) 

What is meant to be, will be.

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Mar 23, 2009 11:47 AM Go to message in response to: NatashaAB

Yes, it is selfish. And yes, it is upsetting.
But you have been raised with him as your Uncle. If you are as close as you say you are, you will have no trouble maintaining a relationship with him.
Maybe they will try to make things work.
Maybe he won't want to try and make things work.
Hopefully he will do what is best for him and what is best for his family.

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audra2013 Posts : 145 Registered: 6/18/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Mar 23, 2009 8:40 PM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

Wow Natasha, I'm really sorry you're going thru that. I don't have anything else to say really, I hope it gets better for you.



I have the humiliating task of announcing that my wedding is officially off. Not only is my wedding off but I am single. And I'm really wondering how you unplan a wedding right now.....




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CountryPrincess Posts : 673 Registered: 9/25/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Mar 23, 2009 8:56 PM Go to message in response to: audra2013

Natasha: I am sorry about your Aunt & Uncle. You are obviously very upset about it. Does your uncle know that your aunt is cheating on him? If so, I would call you uncle. I know you said you aren't supposed to know but you do know and you have to deal with it. Call your uncle and tell him that you know, but that you will not tell anyone since its not your place. However you want to talk to him about how important it is to you that you maintain a relationship with him and your cousins. Tell him how much they mean to you. I am sure it will be comforting for him to here. It will also give you a lot of answers to your "what now?" questions.

Audra: I'm talking to you on facebook right now, trying to figure out whats going on. I am so incredibly sorry. I really hope that everything works out for the best, especially since your son is involved. really big hugs

"I don't care how much it hurts. I don't care if its a brick wall disaster. I'd rather fight with you everday than be happy for one second with anyone else." <3

Kevin & Mari: 11/09/06 to Forever.

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Autumnalis2010 Posts : 133 Registered: 1/12/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Mar 23, 2009 9:08 PM Go to message in response to: CountryPrincess

.

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Mar 23, 2009 9:20 PM Go to message in response to: Autumnalis2010

Audra* Oh my goodness. What happened? I hope that you are okay but obviously fully understand that you won't be. You know that we are all here for you!

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MrsChambers Posts : 14 Registered: 2/2/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Mar 23, 2009 9:38 PM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

Hey ladies! I just found this Forum for Young Brides and thought I would join. My name is Zanetta and I'm 21 turning 22 in April. My FH (Kevin) just turned 22 in January. If all goes well we plan on getting married May 2010. We've only been together for a year when we decided to spend the rest of our lives together.

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audra2013 Posts : 145 Registered: 6/18/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: Mar 23, 2009 10:50 PM Go to message in response to: MrsChambers

Pretty much it started a looong time ago but didn't surface until we heard those sermons at my church that we had talked about. I wasn't respecting him so he stopped showing me love so I flat out disrespected him so he pulled away even more, It was crazy. So finally today, after 3 years, Josh was able to tell me what I do that bothers him. I'm a girl, so throughout our relationship if I feel we have something to work on, I say it, but he NEVER has. Not once! So 3 years worth of things to work on came flying out of him today all at once and it really made me step back and look at myself. I realized that the person I was 3 years ago would never treat someone she loved as much as I love Josh the way that I'd been treating him. (did that make sense?) So I decided that I need to be single and work on me. I have to know who I am before I can contribute in a relationship and right now I don't know anymore.

I know its the right thing to do, but I am freaking out. I'm so scared about what's going to happen with Nathaneal. I don't want him growing up hearing horrible things about me like my dad used to tell us about our mom. I don't want another woman in his life. I don't want another woman in Josh's life and I sure as hell don't want another guy in mine. I am just so defeated. This month has sucked majorly for me. I don't know what else I can handle. I just want to crawl under a rock and never come out.




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