I am currently living with my boyfriend, and I he gave me a promise ring, but he's waiting to meet my dad to actually give me an engagement ring (I moved down from Michigan to live with him in Louisiana. He's talked to my dad on the phone but not met him face to face). Even though I don't have a ring yet we've been talking about certain wedding issues, and one of them that I can forsee being an issue is the location. Because I moved here from Michigan, my whole family is up there. He's lived here all his life, and his whole family is here. I know that if we get married here in Louisiana, most of my family will not come for several reasons, especially since most of my family does not approve of us living together. On top of that, I'd like to get married in the church that my grandparents went to, because all of their children and grandchildren have gotten married there.
On the flip side, he would like to get married down here for several reasons. His grandmother is recovering from cancer, and we don't know if she'll be healthy enough to make the trip, even though the wedding date probably won't be for at least a year. Mawmaw is a huge part of our lives, and we want to make sure she can be at our wedding. The other issue with location is that his family is devoutly Catholic, and my family is equally Christian Reformed, I'm not sure his family would be comfortable in my family church. A destination wedding is not a possibility, since he wants to get married in a church, but I can't think of a way to make sure that neither family feels alienated.
My FH and I have a similar issue, he and his entire family live in New York, while my family is in Texas. At the moment we have decided that Texas will work better because My family is bigger and we want to get married in my church..
Don't let either family dictate where you two get married... Make a decision you both like, and if either family wants to be there they will come... I know it sounds kinda bad when you say it that way, but remember that this is YOUR day, and it should be special to you and be about what the two of you want
Well, nobody but the two of you can solve your religious issues, except to say that in which church you decide to marry and which religion you choose to follow are personal decisions that the two of you, as adults, must make. Your religious choices, as an adult, are not your families' to dictate.
As for where you get married, something has to give--your bodies can only be in one place at one time, and somebody is going to have to travel (or not--their decision!) It seems that the person with the fewest choices is his Grandmother, since she is ill. It also is easier to plan if you hold the wedding where you are living at the time. If a great many of your family cannot attend, then perhaps you can hold a post-honeymoon get together back in your home town. This need not be formal or expensive and certainly does not need to be another "wedding." It's just a gathering for people to greet you and wish you well.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com
That's messed up if you can't be who you wanna be and have people dictate to what you do, I think that's the way it should be, bump having two weddings and not having your reception at the place that you wanted that is is so much stress by itself, people should learn to open thier mouths & speak for themself.