How long does it take you?

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MrsGrimm Posts : 39 Registered: 3/30/08
How long does it take you?
Posted: Jan 28, 2009 1:19 AM

Ok, I hope I don't get to personal. but How long does it usually take you to orgasm? For me it seems to take forever. There's plenty of lube and i have a good vibrator. Some nights it feels so long that I get frustrated that I can't go. Any tips in that area?
Also what can I do to clear my head? I think that's part of the problem is that I'm thinking of other things.

Tips and suggestions are greatly appreciated.

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Nalamienea Posts : 2,924 Registered: 6/13/08
Re: How long does it take you?
Posted: Jan 28, 2009 7:20 AM Go to message in response to: MrsGrimm

thinking of other things would definitely be a detractor. Definitely find a way to clear your mind, I would say. I don't think it takes me forever, but there's certainly a build-up for me. To get to THE BIG ONE it takes a while, but dang it feels good getting there. hehe :)


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Jade1107 Posts : 205 Registered: 9/1/07
Re: How long does it take you?
Posted: Jan 28, 2009 6:49 PM Go to message in response to: Nalamienea

I hear ya on the long time deal. I'm one of those people who can be distracted by just about anything! I actually have to concentrate and think about kinky things. Or - I turn on some porn in the background and it keeps me a little more focussed.

If you're not comfortable with porn, you can try reading some super kinky romance novels and try to think about those "scenes" when you're in the mood.

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Mushaboo Posts : 2,165 Registered: 3/22/08
Re: How long does it take you?
Posted: Jan 30, 2009 10:43 PM Go to message in response to: MrsGrimm

Practice makes perfect. Honestly, you have to know your spots that help get you to the big O. For me, what helps is really sexy yummy kisses with FH. My mind wanders a lot during the act, but never takes me away from my main mission. lol Actually, just thinking about how in love with FH I am and he with me is the biggest turn on ever. No porn needed. I'll also help guide him if he's not doing something right. The time it takes can be anywhere from 30 seconds to 10 minutes.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: How long does it take you?
Posted: Feb 1, 2009 3:45 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

Practice makes perfect. Honestly, you have to know your spots that help get you to the big O.

I know the right spots like the back of my hand and it STILL takes forever sometimes. Personally, I think what I want/need in order to orgasm varies every time. Even though I know the turf better, it usually takes a lot longer on my own than it does with DH. Probably because I get aroused faster/better with him than I do on my own.

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nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: How long does it take you?
Posted: Feb 2, 2009 1:52 PM Go to message in response to: MrsGrimm

I'm so multipal it's not even funny. Never just once..never have been. To be honest with you I know I can get him there without trying so I focus on whats going to get me there. Sounds selfish in a way but it's the truth. Also depends on my mood, I can be easily distracted by a noise or even the light from the clock. It's deffinatly about concentration, God help him when I'm really in one of my moods, he hurts his back everytime. LOL I have my days when I'm thinking about everything under the sun and I still manage to reach my O.


 

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dannysbabydoll Posts : 28 Registered: 1/7/09
Re: How long does it take you?
Posted: Feb 5, 2009 11:48 AM Go to message in response to: MrsGrimm

I'm glad you posted this. I ahve such a hard time getting there it isnt even funny! But the thing is for me I dont know my spots very well and I have a hard time doing it myself because I only want him there. IDK I guess I will keep trying


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mrspinky Posts : 3,773 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: How long does it take you?
Posted: Feb 5, 2009 12:46 PM Go to message in response to: MrsGrimm

It usually doesn't take me long to orgasm once things get started. We both know what works and what doesn't work. It's the whole "getting started" that's more a PIA than anything. If I'm not "ready" I'm not going to get there anytime soon. And sometimes just going for it really puts me off....suck really. I def get there faster and easier with intercourse than stimulation.

Mrs. Pinky

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JJsWifey08 Posts : 272 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: How long does it take you?
Posted: Feb 5, 2009 12:56 PM Go to message in response to: MrsGrimm

I have a bunny vibe and he uses his fingers but I have to have a clear head or either be thinking about us doing it or I mentally picture a porno in my head. Sometimes if I have that someone will distract us or something else it wont happen

I Married My Soulmate December 18,2008 The Josephs Forever!!

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Simplistic Posts : 7 Registered: 2/7/09
Re: How long does it take you?
Posted: Feb 10, 2009 9:40 PM Go to message in response to: MrsGrimm

This is something that really bugs me. The media, TV, movies, portrays women as things that can come on demand, multiple times, in 30 secs flat.
Thats not true. It takes most women around 20 mins to orgasm, and sometimes up to an hour. there are only a few women who are able to just go from 0-60 in 3 seconds. So let the expectation go. Its not realistic.
Men and women are built different. Men are genetically designed to spill their seed quickly and frequently. Its evolution.
Women, biologically speaking, are more complex. There are internal orgasms, external orgasms, and a few in between. Nevermind adding in historical and societal pressures, expectations and ideology. That just jumbles everything up.
After all this, if you still want to speed up your go time there are a few things you can do.
1. Practice. alone, with your partner, with toys, without toys. Practice makes perfect, right? Find out what gets your motor going.
2. Involve your partner in a stress free setting. set some candles, get out the good sheets, and take some time exploring each others bodies. When you know what works for you, you can provide gentle direction and feedback to make it work for you. This will also improve your relationship;
3. Relax. Women statistically tend to have more on their plate and are more reluctant to let it go. So get a massage, set some candles, take a hot shower, but find a way to put aside your worries, grievances, stress and fatigue. It will help you focus on the stuff that feels good. Give yourself permission to let it go for one night.
4. Let go of the expectation. 95% of women are able to get off in under a 15 minutes. Redefine your expectations so that your less likely to "fail" or under achieve.

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