FH or not....Craziest sex bloopers!

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Camrynsmom Posts : 158 Registered: 2/26/08
Re: FH or not....Craziest sex bloopers!
Posted: Jan 7, 2009 12:26 AM Go to message in response to: Camrynsmom

Here is another........when we first started dating he lived with his parents in a basement apartment with stairs to their part of the house. I was on the nuvo ring (soft plastic birth control ring that just sits on your cervix for 3 weeks and then you take it out) so when we would have sex, sometimes he could feel it, or we would play ring around the member if you catch my drift. So, one night before we had sex after a night out, he asked me if I could take it out, so I did and wrapped it in a tissue and put it on the nightstand. Well..........when we were finshed, I reached over to grab my ring to put it back in.....IT WAS GONE!!! On the floor was a ripped up tissue and his parents jack russel terrior Rascal (boy was he ever a rascal). I guess he decided to come down mid romp and make a chew toy out of my birth control!!!!! Sure he ate it (it was no where in sight) we had to drunk dial the emergency vet and ask them what would happen if a dog ate the birth control.......she was like, "well he won't be getting pregnant that's for sure!!! I had no words.........he pooped it out the next day......

Even better, I went to put my underwear back on, and they were missing too! This same dog delivered a pair of my underwear to his step mom upstairs, she washed them and put them on his bed the following day!

GREAT times!


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DoesntPlayNice Posts : 809 Registered: 12/17/08
Re: FH or not....Craziest sex bloopers!
Posted: Jan 15, 2009 10:59 AM Go to message in response to: Camrynsmom

Deleted

Sorry this may get a bit annoying but I must remove anything I posted that might be "questionable" for my career. I hope you understand!


Edited by: DoesntPlayNice on Mar 4, 2010 8:07 AM

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BellzBride Posts : 5 Registered: 10/3/08
Re: FH or not....Craziest sex bloopers!
Posted: Mar 1, 2009 10:44 PM Go to message in response to: Camrynsmom

My FH and I were having a pretty heavy round of sex, and it was the middle of summer, so it was super hot out. We were in missionary position finishing up, and after we were done, we were so sweaty. FH finished, and then sorta collapsed onto my chest, and since our chests were so sweaty, they made sort of a farting sound when they pressed together. It was almost like when someone makes the fart sound with their armpit, LOL!!!


We were in SUCH hysterics! We wanted to go for another round, but we could NOT stop laughing, so we just gave up, hahahaha!! That was definitely our funniest sex blooper so far.

.:: Can't wait to marry my sweetheart ::.

            .:: September 27th, 2009 ::.

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manderz421 Posts : 17 Registered: 2/7/09
Re: FH or not....Craziest sex bloopers!
Posted: Mar 2, 2009 12:08 AM Go to message in response to: BellzBride

okay so this is less funny and more painful. Just a few weeks ago my fiancee and I were going at it and he accidently slipped out and he was going so fast that missed and it practically went up my butt! I was in so much pain that I started to cry. Now everytime we have sex I'm scared to death it's gonna happen again and it's pretty much ruining our sex life! Any advice on getting past this?

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: FH or not....Craziest sex bloopers!
Posted: Mar 2, 2009 12:26 PM Go to message in response to: manderz421

Omg PP, that has totally happened to me.
I didn't start to cry or anything though, and at first I was wondering if it was on purpose...I mean...some guys like anal...
So later on that night I did a whole "things we will never do/things we really want to do that we haven't" talk. I was like "okay, no bum sex." and he was like "uh yea, same for me so that's cool."
I just didn't let it worry me and it hasn't happened again, a one time mistake.

so my embarassing story
this isn't with FH but a vair serious boyfriend from just a couple of years ago.
So we went to this party at his brother's friends place. They live out in the middle of no where and his friend at this farm and it was all surrounded by woods. Anyways, after a while we decided to ditch the party and fool around a little, so he took me by the hand and pulled me into the forest where we found a big tree stump. So he sat on the stump and i hopped on and we did what we did best. Anyways, this was a very normal position for us that we did at home on the edge of his bed...and always afterwards he would fall back and I would lie on him. Anyways, I guess my dear old ex forget that we were in a slightly different setting, so he started to do it...realized what he was doing...tried to get himself from falling backwards and just stumbled into the wilderness behind the stump as I threw myself off. I landed on the dirt path...he landed in a bush of those bristles (I think that's what they are called) Anyways we laughed like hell until I started trying to pick them out of his hair and they were stuck! We had to go home with his brother and his brother's girlfriend and I had to give him a haircut. The next morning at breakfast his mother was shocked by the new haircut and asked when he got that. And he was like "not going to lie, Kate and I were a little drunk last night and I decided that my hair was too long and she cut it." His Mom was just like "well let's liquor her up and give her a go at my hair!" It was really funny...

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savex389 Posts : 506 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: FH or not....Craziest sex bloopers!
Posted: Mar 2, 2009 1:18 PM Go to message in response to: BrighterThanSun...

I cant think of any of my own, but when I was in college we lived next to a married couple and the walls were paper thin. Of course their bedroom was next to mine and they got it on ALL the time and were super loud. Someone always happened to be in my room when they did the deed and i always felt so stupid...not that I had any control over the situation. Also the woman would come over to my apartment after each time and tell me how sorry she was that I could hear her. I wish she would have just left it alone!

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MichelleandRob Posts : 194 Registered: 5/12/08
Re: FH or not....Craziest sex bloopers!
Posted: Mar 4, 2009 3:22 PM Go to message in response to: manderz421

Communication! If you can't talk to your FH about your fears and stuff, then maybe you should go to counseling before you get married. I know that sounds harsh and it is not meant to be that way. Sorry. Seriously, just try and talk to him about it.

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