So this might be long and I'm hoping I don't sound like a lunatic, but any advice would be so helpful at this point.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years now and began ring shopping and talking about marriage about three months into our relationship. About a year ago I was putting away laundry and lo and behold a ring box was just sitting on top of some socks. At first I was so excited (and a little shocked that he had left it out like that) and resolved to never open the drawer again until he proposed. I happily held my tongue and waited all through January, February and March, but nothing happened. I should also mention that in March he was applying to jobs that had a good chance of making him move across the state. The stress of his impending move, my first year of law school, and everything else was too much for me and I started to talk about marriage or drop hints.
Eventually, I told him that I had found the ring and that's what had prompted me to start talking about it. He was upset that I had found it and took it back, saying that he needed to get a different one now since I had given up any willpower and peeked. At first, I was devastated that that would be my memory of my engagement ring and we had a lot of fights over the issue. We don't fight about any other issue, but we have very different personalities and it really comes out when we talk about this.
Since that time we have had many heart to heart conversations about our future and even though he reassures me that he does eventually want to marry me, these talks just make me feel more frustrated. He says he's not ready but it seems like he was ready enough to buy an engagement ring! Over the summer we tried to establish a timeline, but everytime it came close I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut, make a comment, and then he would refuse to do it. I know that most people will say stop talking about it but so far it has proven easier said then done. I feel like I have wedding related turrets! He is a fantastic guy in so many ways, and I love him deeply, but feeling like he has doubts about me is slowly killing our relationship.
I also realize I should try to relax and focus on what we have now, but after a year of this, I'm not sure how much more I can emotionally take. I realize this makes me sound like a terrible, whiney person. I never wanted to be the girl who's pressuring her guy to make a move, but I feel an overwhelming need to be able to plan my life and career and knowing whether I will soon be getting married is a crucial piece of the puzzle. He assures me that he wants to get married but he's just not ready. This, however, is after he bought a ring, returned the ring, and then bought another ring. I am at the end of my rope and am contemplating what I should do. I feel so disappointed that something that should have been so happy has instead been so heartbreaking.
I'm so sorry this was so long and I realize it probably doesn't make any coherent sense. Thanks for letting me rant and please let me know of any similar circumstances and how you handled it.
