My bf and I have been dating for almost two years and we have talked about marriage for over a year. (I am one of those girls who have been planning since like grade 5) His sister got engaged in the summer and is getting married in May 2009. At first we were talking about getting hitched in August 2009 but just recently he and I were talking and he said he doesn't think it will happen till the year following. I asked him why and he said it was because his sister was getting married in May and he didn't want to overwhelm his mother and become a burden. My thoughts are that this time his mom wouldn't be the mother-of-the-bride so it wouldn't be asking as much from her, and I have so much planned already so all that is needed is for it to become offical and all plans to become concrete. Is it unreasonable for me to be frusterated with the idea of postponing for another year? How would you handle the situation?
Edited by: thecarrotflower on Nov 24, 2008 9:47 PM
That's tough. I would have him mention it to his mom briefly that you two were thinking about getting married the same year as his sister. See what she has to say. Maybe it won't be stressful for her to have 2 weddings. I would also explain to your husband-to-be how you feel. At least the good thing about waiting another year is that you have more time to plan your wedding and by attending his sister's wedding you get an idea of what you may and may not want in your own wedding. Goodluck! :)
Thank you for the advice. I have talked to fh and told him how I felt. He said we will just have to see. I think he has something up his sleeve. We haven't talked to his mom about it yet, but I think we will ask soon. Thank you again for the advice you made me see things in a bit of a different light which is nice. -Little-Lady-
The other thing you wouldn't want to do, is steal his sister's spotlight. She won't have been married very long if you do it the same year. Also, weddings are very expensive. If you put it off another year, his family may be able to afford to help you out more, whereas otherwise they would have already helped subsidise one wedding.
Also, think about your guests. Do you have out of town guests? Is it fair to expect them to come twice in a year? That's expensive. and for some people very hard to get away from work. Also, as far as gifts go, on your FHs side, a lot of them may still be pretty tapped out from the previous wedding.
I think waiting another year would be kind to his sister, but help you and your FH out in the long run. I know that it's hard to wait, but at the same time, no sence rushing it. You'll be spending the rest of your life with him no matter what year you get married. "Those who want to relive their youth, are probably too old to remember it."