When you don't need anything....

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seadreamer Posts : 522 Registered: 6/8/07
When you don't need anything....
Posted: Oct 13, 2008 4:27 PM

There have been a lot of people mentioning that they don't need anything for their homes for a registry.  That I know is very true, from personal experience.

So why isn't anyone having donations made to charity?  That is always a great thing to do.  If you really don't need anything for your home, then why not use the perfect opportunity to give to others who do?

You can also give items that you recieve to a organization to distribute to people who do need them instead of "returning them for cash" as one poster said.

So why not help out others?

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AngelofAugust Posts : 89 Registered: 8/3/08
Re: When you don't need anything....
Posted: Oct 13, 2008 4:34 PM Go to message in response to: seadreamer

While your post is certainly a nice idea with all the right intentions, you can't dictate what people spend their money on. You can take any money you are given from guests and donate it if you like but that might not sit well with a lot of people that wanted YOU to have that money.

When you want charity to be a part of your wedding you can donate in lieu of favors and leave a note for each guest at their place setting...In lieu of favors a donation has been made to The American Cancer Society.

Formerly Abc12345678:)

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seadreamer Posts : 522 Registered: 6/8/07
Re: When you don't need anything....
Posted: Oct 13, 2008 4:40 PM Go to message in response to: AngelofAugust

We donated all moneies and gifts to a less fortunate family for our wedding.  The mothers spread the word that was going to be done, and EVERYONE loved it.

I had   several people actually tell me they  spent more than they usually would.  So, if you let people know what your intentions are, it is fine.

I am sure the people who register for things they don't need just to return them for cash do not let the people who gave them those items know their  premeditated intensions, do they?

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LaBoosLady Posts : 124 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: When you don't need anything....
Posted: Oct 13, 2008 4:42 PM Go to message in response to: seadreamer

Your suggestion is a good idea; however, it is also a personal choice.  I agree with the pp, our guests are giving us gifts....not a charity.  As far as I'm concerned, it would be inconsiderate of me to take a gift that someone gives me and give it away.


wedding ticker

"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD" - Proverbs 18:22

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AngelofAugust Posts : 89 Registered: 8/3/08
Re: When you don't need anything....
Posted: Oct 13, 2008 4:50 PM Go to message in response to: seadreamer

I am sure the people who register for things they don't need just to return them for cash do not let the people who gave them those items know their  premeditated intensions, do they?

I dont know anyone that would do something like that..unless they got something that was not on their registry...but I dont see what that has to do with asking guests to give their money to charity, to you, to Bed Bath and Beyond...whatever. You can certainly tell people that ask where you are registered that your preference is a donation. I just dont think it is considerate to your guests to just donate the money/gifts they gave you to charity.

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mrspinky Posts : 3,773 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: When you don't need anything....
Posted: Oct 14, 2008 1:03 PM Go to message in response to: AngelofAugust

"While your post is certainly a nice idea with all the right intentions, you can't dictate what people spend their money on."

I'm sure OP was just suggesting what people could do with their money. Not forcing them to do donate.

I think it's a great idea for those who can give to others.


Mrs. Pinky


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Beachwed Posts : 782 Registered: 9/19/06
Re: When you don't need anything....
Posted: Oct 14, 2008 1:22 PM Go to message in response to: seadreamer

I think it's a great idea and suggestion (key word, suggestion, to the other posters who are saying she's saying this is what you have to do). We were not in a situation where we had much for our home, we really had nothing, but if we were in a situation where we could do this, we would have.  It's a great idea, and if you spread the word ahead of time, I also would have given extra money as a guest.

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: When you don't need anything....
Posted: Oct 14, 2008 1:36 PM Go to message in response to: mrspinky

If I donated gifts my guests gave me, they'd be offended.  They would actually be less offended if I returned the gift for money, because most of my friends and family aren't really offended by that (I know I'm not). 

If I told my guests I intended to give the gift to charity, it would be considered odd and a bit rude.  I'm essentially telling my guests what to give me. . .as opposed to letting them decide on their own what they want to do. 

Furthermore, my charity isn't everyone's charity.  And my guest's charity isn't necessarily my charity.  I don't particularly like it when other people tell me what I "should" support, because I put a lot of time and thought into what I do support, and I want to do with my money exactly what I think I should do.  For example, why donate a $50 gift to a family next door when $50 dollars would buy 200 mosquito nets for children in Ghana, thus potentially preventing 200 deaths from malaria?  But others would rather give to their neighbor next door, and really, who am I to tell them that they shouldn't?   

These are the tricky issues you run into when you tell people how to spend their money.

And finally, the complete, god's honest truth that no one wants to admit:  When a person gets married, they get gifts.  It's an expectation.  Just because you already have what you need doesn't change that.  You still want gifts, and it's the last time you'll be able to get them on such a massive scale.  I don't feel guilty at all for exploiting that, and I don't think anyone else should, either.


__________________________________________
My new favorite website: www.poptimal.com

"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, or insanity, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S. Thompson

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