His Sister Wants to Sit at the Bride/Groom Table

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AutumnPrincess Posts : 87 Registered: 7/8/08
His Sister Wants to Sit at the Bride/Groom Table
Posted: Sep 26, 2008 11:09 AM

My FH's sister will be 14 years old when our wedding rolls around and she was set on being a junior bridesmaid, but since I'd already picked my girls I told her she could be an "honourary" bridesmaid and also ringbearer, since we didn't know any little boys that fit the age range and we thought that'd be nice. She's really happy with the decision.

She recently asked me who sits at the head table with the bride and groom. I thought this was a subtle hint that she wanted to sit there so I said she could since she's an "honourary" bridesmaid but I'm wondering if this was a good idea after all. It might look uneven, because I have my four bridesmaids and my FH will have his four groomsmen but then we'll have to figure out where to place her, as an extra.

I know I can't reverse my decision. But at the head table does everyone face one way or both ways?

Do you think I did the right thing? It's selfish but I feel like it's kind of about her a bit now... like she asked to be a junior bridesmaid and that's basically what she got, then she asked to be at the head table and that's what she got. I know she is just super excited but what do you all think?

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Beachwed Posts : 782 Registered: 9/19/06
Re: His Sister Wants to Sit at the Bride/Groom Table
Posted: Sep 26, 2008 11:35 AM Go to message in response to: AutumnPrincess

There are no rules to the head table. Or bridal party for that matter.  You don't need an even number on each side, you can have a guy in your wedding party, you can have a 5 year old in your wedding party if it makes you happy. There's really no rules, and trust me, very few guests pay that close of attention.

Honestly, I'd let her sit at the head table. I know, she shouldn't have asked to be all these roles, but she sees her brother getting married and wants to be a part of the celebration. You can have uneven numbers, and if you do want the long table with everyone facing out, just put her near one of the bridesmaids. We had round tables with our bridal party sitting with their significant others (not in the bridal party) and no one was upset that we didn't do the long table. Do whatever makes you and your FH happy!

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AutumnPrincess Posts : 87 Registered: 7/8/08
Re: His Sister Wants to Sit at the Bride/Groom Table
Posted: Sep 26, 2008 11:37 AM Go to message in response to: Beachwed

I know this is going to sound selfish and please people don't get mad at me but I am a little worried that she is going to want all my FH's attention at the table, instead of it being on me. I know it sounds horrible but that's how I feel!

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Beachwed Posts : 782 Registered: 9/19/06
Re: His Sister Wants to Sit at the Bride/Groom Table
Posted: Sep 26, 2008 11:45 AM Go to message in response to: AutumnPrincess

If you are really worried about his attention not being on you, a sweetheart table (just the two of you) would be your answer, then his groomsmen also couldn't distract him, and the rest of the bridal party can sit elsewhere.

If you want a head table, have you and FH sit in the middle with bridesmaids on one side, groomsmen on the other, and have her sit near the end with bridesmaids that she can talk with.

Honestly, your FH can talk to his sister, it's a special day for the whole family. His attention will be on you, no matter where his sister is sitting.  

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AutumnPrincess Posts : 87 Registered: 7/8/08
Re: His Sister Wants to Sit at the Bride/Groom Table
Posted: Sep 26, 2008 11:48 AM Go to message in response to: Beachwed

I certainly didn't mean to imply he couldn't talk to her! That's ridiculous! But I like your idea of seating her at the end.

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MichelleandRob Posts : 194 Registered: 5/12/08
Re: His Sister Wants to Sit at the Bride/Groom Table
Posted: Sep 26, 2008 3:02 PM Go to message in response to: AutumnPrincess

Are his parents going to be there? With her age, you might want to put her on the end so that she can get up and down without interupting the rest of the party. My daughter is 14 (will be 15 on "the" day) so I understand your concerns. She is old enough that you should be able to explain to her that this is your day and not hers. Maybe get FH in to help out with the conversation.
wedding ticker

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LaBoosLady Posts : 124 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: His Sister Wants to Sit at the Bride/Groom Table
Posted: Sep 26, 2008 3:13 PM Go to message in response to: AutumnPrincess

Hi!  I hear where you are coming from, but just remember the age of the person you're talking about.  Though she's a teenager, she's still a child and this may just be something that she's very excited about and wants to be a part of.

I'd say don't worry about it, incorporate  her as much as possible (after all, you're marrying her brother and she may really be happy about getting you as a sister).  It is your day and no matter where she sits, the spotlight will be on you and FH.  If you really want some alone time at the reception, then the head table really isn't the way to go....go with the sweetheart table.


wedding ticker

"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD" - Proverbs 18:22

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: His Sister Wants to Sit at the Bride/Groom Table
Posted: Sep 27, 2008 9:25 AM Go to message in response to: AutumnPrincess

This is probably the first wedding of someone she's really close to and her first opportunity to be in the wedding -- a very exciting prospect for a young girl.   She probably also has not been told that these are things that YOU are asked, not that YOU ask for.

But also look at this way--you'll be a favored sister because she helped welcome you into their family.  

Does FH have any other siblings?  Are they married?  If not, I bet this girl is excited about the potential prospect of becoming an aunt.     Does he have any other sisters?  No?  Then she's also REALLY excited that while her brother is getting married SHE is finally gettnig an older sister!

It's not about her.   And I doubt she feels like it is.  She just wants to know the details of the wedding.    And she may have heard about the head table.  But if she IS a member of the wedding party (as a honorary bridesmaid IS), then she should be at the head table.


wedding countdown

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MotoMiller Posts : 17 Registered: 1/30/08
Re: His Sister Wants to Sit at the Bride/Groom Table
Posted: Sep 27, 2008 10:46 PM Go to message in response to: AutumnPrincess

I don't see a reason for you to be worried. That is his sister. Personally, if you are having your bridal party sit with you at your table, it should only be that. It is your day after all. Nothing should happen without you approving it.




Every breath of who you are
Tells a story that I love
I have finally found the truth
In what I see in you
And what I feel with every touch
The simple beauty of your heart
In every breath of who you are

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: His Sister Wants to Sit at the Bride/Groom Table
Posted: Sep 28, 2008 12:01 AM Go to message in response to: AutumnPrincess

I know this is going to sound selfish and please people don't get mad at me but I am a little worried that she is going to want all my FH's attention at the table, instead of it being on me. I know it sounds horrible but that's how I feel!

To be honest with you his attention is going to be everywhere and so is yours.  The people sitting at the head table and every other table will have your attention.  Your FSIL being at your table will not be a problem at all.


Kenny and Me Perfect Together,  10 years and counting.



 

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