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ryanne Posts : 1,042 Registered: 4/27/06

Re: Young brides...: Posted: Sep 23, 2008 6:51 PM Go to message in response to: ILoveMyCoastie0...; wow...I feel bad for even bringing this one up.
I understand why you think that putting the military on a pedestal is a bad thing, Krista and Charlotte. It has the potential to lead to discrimination. But I also understand where FMR and Coastie are coming from. I personally agree with them--not because I think that military are any better than anyone else, but because what they choose to do with their lives requires sacrifice in each and every area of their lives. It's not just a job, its a way of life...and something that they very well could end up dying for. I've chosen a job that will allow me to have a very flexible schedule, that will allow me to set my own hours and play by my own rules. If not for the men and women preserving our country and way of life, I probably wouldn't HAVE that choice. My husband isn't a soldier, and nor does he desire to be--he likes being able to choose where he lives and do his own thing. He does things that are dangerous every now and again. If not for our military, he might not have that choice. Obviously, since my husband isn't military, I don't have anything against people who aren't military. I just think that the sacrifice and potential danger that makes up the lifestyle of our military is worth a little bit better treatment and definitely our respect. But that's just me--I know that not everyone feels the same way.

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MrsRicecake Posts : 701 Registered: 2/2/08

Re: Young brides...: Posted: Sep 24, 2008 1:31 AM Go to message in response to: ryanne; Thank you Ryanne! You said it perfectly!
Charlotte. Im not saying that you and your FH are lesser of people just becaues you arent part of the military life. But I am saying without those people defending our freedoms we wouldnt have the right to choose our jobs, religions, where we live, how we live. Thats why they should be treated with more respect. Its great that your FH is a teacher, I could never be!
And Im not saying you arent worthy of being treated with respect because youre not a military bride. Thats stupid! It just gets old when you are told that the military life is easy or that they are just making it to be harder. Try not seeing your FH for months on end, then tell me how easy it is. Its not just you, I have been treated like crap just because I am engaged to a Marine and have my "My Man is a US Marine" sticker on my car. Trust me when I am wearing a Marine T-shirt I get treated like crap! When youre not on base and your man is walking around in uniform you get lots of awful looks, worse service and you would think more people would treat you with respect or thank you for your service.

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married! December 27, 2008!
http://alaireandclayton.weddings.com

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krista210 Posts : 451 Registered: 7/14/07

Re: Young brides...: Posted: Sep 24, 2008 12:54 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake; I get that its hard but things like saying that military wives cook dinner, iron clothes, clean the house, and look after kids is BS too. I do all of that stuff and yes, I do it lots of the time alone. I completely agree with Charlotte that jobs shouldn't be ranked. FMR and Coastie are saying that the military people dont make a lot of money. That is a huge assumption on your girls parts that "civilian" as you girls put it (which is ranking in itself) people make more money. you have no idea how much money my husband and I make nor will you ever. So you cant say that your lives are financially more difficult than mine.
My husbands dad was in the Canadian air force for 30 years. He never thought of it as anything but another old job. Yes he was protecting canada but he barely talks about it anymore because it was a job like anybody elses and I think that is a great approach to take.
When the bombings of london were happening in 2005, I was on a plane going to visit DH who was working there. Our pilot came onto the intercom to tell us there had been a major terrorist attack on the city of london and that was all the information we got. DH was working at Canada House, which is right across the sqaure from the american embassy. I didnt know if he was dead or alive for three days. Obviously that is not the same as months but it is the same type of feeling I'm sure. Every day when DH goes off to work I worry about whether he is going to get hit by a car becuase he rides his bike to work so we can save money. I worry about one of us getting so sick that we cant work. Every day is hard for all people. I think if you look back at my posts there was not a time when I said that being a military wife is EASY. I dont think it is because being a WIFE, period, is not easy. You girls have absolutely no right to say that being a "civilian" wife is easier - which is just what you did. This entire conversation is completely ridiculous and I cant even believe we are having it. It just goes to show me how brainwashed the entire population is about war and how glorified it is when all of our troops are over there doing what? blowing up peoples homes in a war agains oil??...

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ryanne Posts : 1,042 Registered: 4/27/06

Re: Young brides...: Posted: Sep 24, 2008 7:47 PM Go to message in response to: krista210; This conversation really has gotten ridiculous, and like I said before, I'm sorry for even bringing the topic up. All I wanted to do was get some encouragement for my sister--definitely not cause world war 3. :(
I'd really like to reach some sort of truce here, because this is exactly what we come here to get away from.
So here goes nothing.
Being a wife is hard. Men are hard beings to deal with, families are difficult to deal with. Balancing all the elements of your life is hard. There are moments in our lives when we are frozen in terror, wondering if our loved ones are okay. I've experienced it, Krista, you've experienced it. So we know that it's a horrific feeling. So this is how I look at it: Add to all of that a year+ long separation, going weeks without a call, wondering if your husband was in that last attack on a convoy or bombing. That continual ache, that utter terror of hearing about a local soldier being killed, or about an attack overseas. The waiting by the phone so you won't miss that call, the heartbreak when you do miss it. The disappointment in hearing he doesn't get to come home after all, that they need him to stay longer. Looking all around you seeing couples everywhere, doing all the things you can't do with your husband because he's gone and you can't even talk to him every day. THAT is what makes being a military wife harder. Y'all are free to disagree with me, but that's how I feel about the situation. That's what my sister is dreading but willing to deal with so that she can marry this guy that she loves so dearly and wants to share her life with. I didn't start this to cause a fight, I just wanted to help my sister. I wanted to give her some encouragement from other military brides and wives about what to expect and how to deal with it.
Being a wife is hard. Nobody's denying that. Nobody's saying that civilian wives don't worry about their husbands and how to makes ends meet--lord knows that I do!!! So let's drop this and move on.

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ILoveMyCoastie0... Posts : 132 Registered: 1/18/08

Re: Young brides...: Posted: Sep 24, 2008 11:55 PM Go to message in response to: ryanne; Well said ryanne! Its funny that you are not a military wife cause you sound just like one! That is just how I feel. I don't want to fight with anyone I really don't. We each have our own opinions and we are entitled to them. You ryanne have put yourslef in our shoes and I thank you for that. The thing you said about seeing other couples...ya thats me! I can't even watch movies with couples in it sometimes cause it makes me cry!! I thank God for each and every second I have with my husband because I know I might not have that ever again.

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ryanne Posts : 1,042 Registered: 4/27/06

Re: Young brides...: Posted: Sep 25, 2008 9:52 AM Go to message in response to: ILoveMyCoastie0...; Well, I guess it's because I'm a military family member. The friends that I mentioned are like family to my husband, and obviously I'll actually BE a military family member if my sister and her BF get married and he joins the Marines. So maybe I'm biased. I dunno. :)

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MrsRicecake Posts : 701 Registered: 2/2/08

Re: Young brides...: Posted: Sep 25, 2008 10:19 PM Go to message in response to: ryanne; Ryanne! That was said so amazingly! Thanks for seeing both sides. I have never said that it was easy to be a civilian wife. Its a COMPLETELY different world. I dont expect anyone to understand that if you havent been in it.
I get pissed off when people say this war is for oil or that its just the American government flexing their muscles. The armed forces know why we are over there. The media knows maybe half of what is being told be the government. That is offensive to me because I know so many people over their risking their lives to give another country the freedoms we as Americans have, and they are also protecting us from the terrorist attacks that may occur.
Anyways! Im ready for this thread to get back to bridal stuff as well. Ryanne if your sister wants so advice or just needs to talk I can give you my email! We are one big happy family, us Marines! And I wont sugar coat it like a recruiter might!
So I work in a jewelery store. UGH! There was this girl that came in that was around 19 and she was the most stuck up bride EVER! She wanted to get a bigger diamond in her ring...shes been engaged 3 months and shes already up grading. Then she was going on and on about how expensive her dress is and how she has to wait two years because they are getting married on a cruise and had to wait for the next available date. And then when a lady I work with said Im getting married in December she glarred and rolled her eyes! It was a long day! And I work with a lady that thinks she knows everything about how the government should work and she needs to figure out a way to let people know! AHHH!

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married! December 27, 2008!
http://alaireandclayton.weddings.com

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ILoveMyCoastie0... Posts : 132 Registered: 1/18/08

Re: Young brides...: Posted: Sep 25, 2008 10:40 PM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake; Wow! FMR that is rough! And what are you gonna do in a situation like that its not like you can be rude back to the girl its your job to be nice and sell things!! I always thought it would be really fun to be a jewelery sales lady now I'm re thinking that! I hate when brides think they have to have the best of everything. My ring isn't huge by any means but it was what my husband picked, he picked it by himself, and it is everything I ever wanted!! Plus my hands are small so I don't need no big rocks! But like I have this friend who thinks her bf now is going to ask her to marry him (which hes not if you knew them you would understand) but anyways she always says my ring is too small and that hers can't be anything less then a carat! I just wanna be like do you know how much diamonds go for!? And not only that but gold prices are through the roof! Me and my husbands wedding bands are probably the most simple bands you can get, very thing width and 10k instead of 14k. It was $125...I don't know what everyone else is paying but thats a lot for us!! The price of gold went crazy just as we went to buy them so we had to pay more. Speaking of wedding bands what are you girls getting for your husbands? We just got like a temporary ring for him. Its rather dangerous for him to be wearing a soft metal ring with his job. I've heard of people actually having their fingers cut off by their bands! So I was thinking of going with tungstun, thats what a lot of the guys on the boat have.

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LissaNicole Posts : 39 Registered: 7/10/08

Re: Young brides...: Posted: Sep 26, 2008 10:40 AM Go to message in response to: ILoveMyCoastie0...; Coastie:
My FH wants a Tungsten ring for his wedding band. He is a firefighter/paramedic and needs a strong ring. However, Tungsten and Titanium come with their own issues. They cannot be resized--if he later needs a different size, you have to buy a whole new ring (they cost around $200-$300, but some companies make a deal where you have unlimited size "trade-ins" free). Also, if the ring gets stuck on his finger, it cannot be cut off because it is such a strong metal. I heard about a guy that got his ring stuck on his finger and went to the ER and the ring cutter didn't work so they went to Home Depot and put the ring in a vice and slowly tightened it until the ring split in two. Of course, as a paramedic, my FH says that when there is an injury to the extremities and any chance for swelling, you need to remove any jewelry right away.

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krista210 Posts : 451 Registered: 7/14/07

Re: Young brides...: Posted: Sep 26, 2008 12:11 PM Go to message in response to: LissaNicole; My dad works in a pulp and paper mill and he actually just doesnt wear his wedding ring to work. He wears it at home sometimes and on his days off and special occasions. It doesnt bother my mom at all becuase it keeps him safe around machines. Perhaps that would be an option for you.
THe price of gold is totally ridiculous right now. DH and I bought our rings last november and the one he wanted was more than the one we bought for me, which has twelve diamonds in it. Apparently gold costs more than diamonds :P We ended up choosing another one but in total we paid 750 for both of our rings. GOod luch with the decision!

wedding_ring

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ILoveMyCoastie0... Posts : 132 Registered: 1/18/08

Re: Young brides...: Posted: Sep 26, 2008 12:53 PM Go to message in response to: krista210; I've told him he doesn't have to wear it but he does anyways! I mean I think if he dropped somthing on his finger first off his finger will be hurt regardless of the ring and second I'm pretty sure the ring would break anyhow. I'm no expert on metals but its not a very thick band at all. Like I said lots of the other guys on the boat have tungstun one of his good friends has one and put it in the vice and that thing didn't bend a bit. But I would be worried that if something happened and there was swelling that they wouldn't be able to get it off.

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ryanne Posts : 1,042 Registered: 4/27/06

Re: Young brides...: Posted: Sep 26, 2008 4:13 PM Go to message in response to: ILoveMyCoastie0...; Coastie--We got DH a tungstun band and he wears it on a chain around his neck rather than on his hand. He works on machines and on vehicles, so having a ring on is really dangerous for him--plus he just doesn't like rings. :) So that was what we ended up doing. But if your hubby does want to wear a ring, gold would actually be safer to wear than tungstun or titanium because it can be cut in the event of an emergency. Most hospitals don't have the equipment to cut titanium, and I don't think tungstun can be cut at all (this is why they can't be resized as well). I guess it just kind of depends on what y'all really want to do.

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MrsRicecake Posts : 701 Registered: 2/2/08

Re: Young brides...: Posted: Sep 26, 2008 7:07 PM Go to message in response to: ryanne; DO NOT BUY TUNGSTAN! It is actually going to be recalled very soon. They are some court cases right now sueing Tungtan manufacturers because it wont break if it needs too. If you want to have a ring that is going to with stand bending do a titanium. Its able to be cut off! At work we are actually trying to talk people out of Tungstan. Youre right price of gold is disgusting! I got my FH a white gold with 1/10 ct. diamonds. It was originally $600. I got it for$280! The jewelry store is going out of business and I got lucky! I am having my band custom made it will be white gold and have 14 1pt diamonds. The band on my e-ring is curved so it will fit together! It will only cost $300! Working at a jewelry store has some benefits!
I am so pissed off at my SIL! I get a call from my brother yesterday, he wants to get SIL preggers! They are both in the Marines. She gets deployed in January and he deploys July. He is in a special unit and will only be deployed 6 months she will be deployed longer. Anyways. They wont see eachother for over a year. Andrew wants to get her pregnant so she wont be deployed. SHe doesnt care that they wont see eachother over a year and he knows their marriage wont last through it! I told him a baby isnt going to save the marriage, he wont be there for the birth and the first few months of its life. I feel awful for my brother! Oh and her reason for joining the Corps was because she wanted to see what it was like. As if being a Marine spouse wasnt enough!

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married! December 27, 2008!
http://alaireandclayton.weddings.com

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ryanne Posts : 1,042 Registered: 4/27/06

Re: Young brides...: Posted: Sep 28, 2008 11:45 AM Go to message in response to: MrsRicecake; The thing about tungstan is that most people buy it because it can't be cut, bent, or broken like gold can. I know that's why we bought DH a tungstan band. So my guess is that the people suing were either not informed by their retailer that tungstan can't be cut or sized, or they're just looking for money. In my jewelry dept., we were told by the manufacturer that tungstan cannot be cut or sized, and that we were to make our customers aware of that fact when selling it. So we do. At least, I know that I make each and every customer aware of it.
As far as your SIL goes...I dunno. I kinda feel like she's using the system. My sister's boyfriend--you know what? I'm just gonna call him my FBIL from now on. lol. Okay so anyway, my FBIL's aunt is in the Army and she and her hubby are trying to get preggers right now so that she can go on disability and get taken care of for good. Not sure how that will work, exactly, but apparently that's their plan and FBIL is pissed about it. I honestly hope that your SIL and brother don't get preggers--especially if their marriage is on the rocks. That will just make things SO much worse for them when its all said and done. :(
So I have three thank yous left to write--I should have had them all done, but I was waiting on my pictures and getting started in school and all kinds of crap came up--and then they can be out of my house forever! Yay!! lol. I was going to include a picture of DH and I at the wedding, but I'm afraid that it will take way too long to get them in. So...I'm just going to do a picture card for Christmas instead.
And we are officially moving in with DH's grandma in December. It will be SO much cheaper for us, that it's really worth it. Plus our cars will get better mileage from the highway driving that we'll be doing since we won't be doing much in town driving anymore. AND, I get to do absolutely whatever I want with the basement so I'm going to start decorating in the next couple of weeks while it's fairly empty. Our room is going to be red and I am SO excited about it! It's a red and black theme and I want to put some black and whites of us up in black frames. I think it's absolutely sexy and amazing! hehe.

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MrsRicecake Posts : 701 Registered: 2/2/08

Re: Young brides...: Posted: Sep 28, 2008 10:26 PM Go to message in response to: ryanne; Yesterday I reserved all my rental stuff! Im so excited! The rental company was supposed to have gold chairs, but they no longer have them! I was a little disappointed but its ok I just got white ones. Its now one day less than three months away! Its getting so close!
I have major baby fever! I swear on my wedding night we are going to start trying! Every where I look I see pregnant people and babies!

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married! December 27, 2008!
http://alaireandclayton.weddings.com

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