Embarrassing Questions

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FutureJessicaFr... Posts : 7 Registered: 9/22/08
Embarrassing Questions
Posted: Sep 22, 2008 11:05 PM

I feel very uncomfortable asking any questions about my body, so I'm starting with a simpler, not as embarrassing question. I'm planning on getting married sometime in early 2010 and neither I nor my fiance-to-be have ever slept with anyone and plan on being each others' first on our honeymoon. I'm super embarrassed about my body and will remain so no matter what, I'm sure, until the first few days have passed, but there's one thing that really bothers me and it's... blush the hair down there... :( Any suggestions as to how to either make it less... gross?... or to be more ok with it? Shaving sounds so... painful.

~Jessica

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FinallyMrsS Posts : 1,035 Registered: 3/29/08
Re: Embarrassing Questions
Posted: Sep 22, 2008 11:14 PM Go to message in response to: FutureJessicaFr...

Shaving is absolutely not painful. It doesn't hurt when you shave your legs, right? I recommend waxing though. Yes it is painful, but it will last much longer. There is a numbing cream you can buy. Its called "Relax and wax no scream cream". It works wonders! I use it when I get waxed and it doesn't hurt nearly as bad. The first time I got a wax, I told my lady to start on the outside and work her way in and to also go back and fourth so it was even. Just in case I couldn't handle the pain, I wanted to at least look even. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I say think about it!!

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TheNewMrsJ Posts : 754 Registered: 1/6/08
Re: Embarrassing Questions
Posted: Sep 22, 2008 11:28 PM Go to message in response to: FutureJessicaFr...

as weird as it may sound, discuss it with FH - some guys prefer it bare down there, others don't care or like the bush. But since you got over a year you can easily wait on that conversation.

DH likes it bare and I try to keep it somewhat trimmed down there (once you start shaving it off, if you're like me, you'll prefer not to have the big bush down there) but for a wedding night treat I went a few days earlier and got it waxed completely - it's been almost 2 weeks and it still lasts (the lady said it can stay up to 6 weeks, but the typical is 2-4 weeks). I've had my eyebrows and upper lip waxed back in high school so I knew a little bit going into it what to expect, but it still hurt quite a bit, but the lady knew what she was doing and used some oils and lotions to make it not hurt/sting so much after the fact. 

if you didn't want to go all the way with it, start off by just shaving the triangle area below your stomach and see if that makes you feel anymore comfortable. the only annoying thing ive noticed is that it feels a little scratchy/itchy when it starts growing back in.

and like PP said, it's no more painful than shaving your legs - you just have to be careful around the sensitive areas cuz getting a cut down there can hurt a little bit at first.

but before ya go doing anything down there, talk to FH first to see if he even cares about the hair down there.


 

 

countdown to your wedding

*September 13, 2008 *

 

 

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Embarrassing Questions
Posted: Sep 23, 2008 2:02 AM Go to message in response to: TheNewMrsJ

If you do decide to shave (or wax), just make absolutely sure to exfoliate every day in the shower, whether it's with a loofah sponge or washcloth. Otherwise you could end up with ingrown hairs, which are at the very least unattractive and at worst really painful. You won't want to exfoliate for a couple of days after you wax because the area will be tender, but you can start right away after you shave.

If you wax or shave off the bare minimum, you can also augment the effect by trimming down the hair that's left with manicure scissors or something similar. That way you get a more manicured look without the pain (and for most people, doing a full Brazilian is really painful if you don't do it regularly).

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Nalamienea Posts : 2,924 Registered: 6/13/08
Re: Embarrassing Questions
Posted: Sep 23, 2008 7:03 AM Go to message in response to: HappyGirl13

I'm all about the trimming because you don't get the uncomfy stubble! lol Just be careful with the scissors! :)

http://www.chrisandsarah2008.net

 

wedding ticker

 


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Kat78 Posts : 189 Registered: 2/9/08
Re: Embarrassing Questions
Posted: Sep 23, 2008 8:35 AM Go to message in response to: FutureJessicaFr...

i trim i use to shave but i always got razor burn and i am scared to get wax.. i always get my eye brows done and i cant stand that pain...

i say trim make it look pretty


"say i love you today cuz tomorrow you may not have the chance"

http://www.mywedding.com/jonathanandkathleenforever

 

 

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PALMETTOMOON Posts : 532 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Embarrassing Questions
Posted: Sep 23, 2008 9:40 AM Go to message in response to: FutureJessicaFr...

Jessica-

Since you don't have a personal grooming routine yet, and you've got a while to work things out...I wouldn't jump straight to waxing, especially since you seem to be a bit self-conscious about the whole bit.  Bikini waxing is a very up-close-and-personal experience and I would imagine that you aren't quite ready for all that just yet.  Just start out by trimming the whole area up a bit with a pair of scissors so that it's not so "bushy"...or buy a personal trimmer, which is just a small version of a hair trimmer.  Use this time to get familiar with yourself down there and experiment with different grooming techniques. 

Has your boyfriend ever seen you naked or expressed his preferences?  If not, I wouldn't be concerned about getting too crazy with the style until you guys have time to get to know each other, and then experiment as time goes by.


www.mywedding.com/lizandkevin

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CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: Embarrassing Questions
Posted: Sep 23, 2008 9:55 AM Go to message in response to: FutureJessicaFr...

Shave that shit off woman!!!  Go buy yourself a Venus razor (I've never once nicked myself with a Venus but I have with other razors).  I'm going to be blunt here...  the more hair you have way down there, the more smell you're going to retain.  I'm sorry, but that hair just harbors ill smells - from sweating, from normal woman stuff, etc.  Shave it, shave it, shave it.  Just leave a little strip on the top but get rid of the lower hair.  It doesn't hurt AT ALL.   With the Venus razor, I'm able to get ALL THE WAY down there (if you know what I mean) with no issues.

And like the others have said, get to know your body.  You'll be more confident when the time comes to do the deed with your new husband! 

Good luck!!


Slideshow of our wedding photos:  http://s199.photobucket.com/albums/aa135/tobiandbrian/Wedding%20Photos/?action=view&current=cb216606.pbr

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Embarrassing Questions
Posted: Sep 23, 2008 10:06 AM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

CB8 you are cracking me up. Another alternative is using delipatory cream such as Neet or Nair. It doesn't hurt at all, is a little easier than shaving for a first timer and lasts about a week. It's also more private. I also like to trim my hair so it is very short. I am prone to ingrones and ride an exercise bike a lot so waxing it all wouldn't work well for me. I use a 'mens beard trimmer" which I am sure could lead to a lot of bad jokes. Its small enough to fit down there, has adjustable settings so you can decide on the length of the hair and is relatively safe.

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MrsReno Posts : 314 Registered: 12/21/07
Re: Embarrassing Questions
Posted: Sep 23, 2008 10:50 AM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

I agree with CariddeanBride in everything she said.

But I would also like you add that you are going to make sure you stand under warm water for a bit to make sure the hair is soft. I've found that also helps prevent razor burn. I have also used normal hair conditioner instead of soap or shaving cream while shaving. This also helps prevent razor burn.

I have used Nair down there before and it burned like hell as well as itched... Even after I washed it all away. I really don't recommend doing that your first time.


 

 

 

♥Defy Gravitry♥

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Kat78 Posts : 189 Registered: 2/9/08
Re: Embarrassing Questions
Posted: Sep 23, 2008 11:19 AM Go to message in response to: MrsReno

i've tryed the nair there too before and it burned like hell i dont think you should do that

"say i love you today cuz tomorrow you may not have the chance"

http://www.mywedding.com/jonathanandkathleenforever

 

 

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BoysMissLady Posts : 932 Registered: 1/18/07
Re: Embarrassing Questions
Posted: Sep 23, 2008 11:55 AM Go to message in response to: FutureJessicaFr...

Oh sweetie, let me put you at ease...EVERYBODY has hair down there, so don't worry about it.  If you choose to trim the hairs then you can do that, using a razor.  I wouldn't worry so much about shaving, hair is natural and you need to learn to be comfortable with yourself naked.  Now if you are going to be sporting a swimsuit then yes, you need to shave your bikini line, just be prepared for the itch.  If you're not comfortable with the hair down there, then I don't suggest waxing...nor do I suggest creams, you do not know how you will react to that, and that is not the time to find out.

Best wishes!!!  And congrats on waiting!!!


 

"And there you go!!" Said the ULTIMATE old hag...

I'm fresh out of tickers.  Kiss

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FutureJessicaFr... Posts : 7 Registered: 9/22/08
Re: Embarrassing Questions
Posted: Sep 23, 2008 1:45 PM Go to message in response to: FutureJessicaFr...

Thanks, all of you. Lots of good advice to try. The reason I asked was because he mentioned something along those lines once that made me feel very uncomfortable about it. Not so much a negative comment, but one that made me wonder if I shouldn't try to clean it up a bit. No one has ever seen me naked except my parents, sisters, and best friend, and only one sister has seen me since high school. I feel embarrassed about my entire body, but that... who said "bush"? Good word for it... It's something I want to learn to be ok with.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I'll see what works for me (a long time before it counts :P)

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MrsMcCain Posts : 580 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: Embarrassing Questions
Posted: Sep 23, 2008 1:49 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

Carribbean your post cracked me up. I wanted to add something to the OP. When I shave (and I shave it all) I sometimes get bumps and I use "no bump" at Sally Beauty Supply and it works really well and helps relieve some of the itchiness and  bumps that appear after shaving.

Also, once you do start shaving down there you will never be able to stand having hair again.

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karebeartg Posts : 831 Registered: 6/25/08
Re: Embarrassing Questions
Posted: Sep 23, 2008 1:52 PM Go to message in response to: FutureJessicaFr...

I think if your goal is to get comfortable with yourself, you should start small and not-scary. You've still got plenty of time to get used to stuff. I agree with PPs who recommended starting with using scissors to trim the area. I think it's probably the least scary option (and it's not like you have to get all the hair the same length or anything, so it's really easy). If you like that and want to try more, then I'd move on to a trimmer, waxing, shaving or creams. 

Personally, I just trim mine with scissors. I found that, for me and for FH, the trade-off in either time, effort or pain wasn't worth more than that. Plus, I figure it always leaves open the option of doing something more as a "special surprise" for him. 

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