Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?

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mrspinky Posts : 3,773 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 3:01 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

I loved how our wedding turned out but I wish we could have invited more people, I would have had more than just the one bite of our wedding cake and that DH didn't forget the wedding ring!

Mrs. Pinky

 


 

 



Our Wedding Website

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RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re: Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 3:02 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

We also had the very urgent problem of our teenaged niece who came to live with us after her mother died. Her father was already deceased. She was just barely 16 at the time and would fully inherit her parents' estates at 18.

So, hence Auntofthebride? It was nice to read that.

My Dad instilled similar values to my two older brothers and I as you did your children. I feel fortunate that 1) I was brought up that way and 2) I recognize it.

I agree wholeheartedly about the wedding planning and the financing involved. Even after all these years being independent, I still learned about monetary strategies and budgeting.  


Linda Jo and Dean-July 19, 2008


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RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re: Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 3:10 PM Go to message in response to: Retired

Stupid double posts!

Linda Jo and Dean-July 19, 2008



Message was edited by: RanAway2Maine

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RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re: Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 3:18 PM Go to message in response to: ryanne

Art-I saw your pictures, too and I adored looking at your pictures. I LOVE the groomsmen's attire!

ryanne-I am working on our Thank You Cards, too. I remember posting back and forth with you about our wedding invitations being mailed out on the July thread. 

Did you have a professional DJ? Our DJ met with us at their home for two hours. They played samples of every single song for both of us and made other suggestions. We picked out what we wanted. (I have to admit that they were also Wedding Coordinators). They basically "ran" the whole wedding! That's too bad about your DJ. 


Linda Jo and Dean-July 19, 2008


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Belle1154 Posts : 235 Registered: 11/2/06
Re: Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 3:51 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

I dont think I would have changed too much...but definitely a few things.

1.  I would have had a shorter engagement (as in I wish DH had waited to propose.)  Ours was 18 months and felt too long.

2.  I would have tried on some Maggie dresses.  I was so set on my dress I didn't really look at other designers. 

3.  I would have not cared so much about favors.  They took so much time and money and so many were left.

4.  I would have made sure my uncle/photographer stuck to the list he made me make him.  There were no nice solo bridal shots and no pictures with individual bridesmaids.  

5.  I would have had a different MOH and maybe a smaller WP. I would have included my favorite cousin as a BM. 

6.  I would have started posting here sooner!


 

"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine..."

Happily married since April19, 2008

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KitKatBar Posts : 983 Registered: 7/23/06
Re: Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 5:24 PM Go to message in response to: Belle1154

I really would have only changed two things.

1. That my Inlaws had actually shown up on time, not half an hour late with the crappy excuse of "The traffic was bad." It couldn't have been that bad, everyone else made it on time! At least own up that you just didn't allow yourself enough time to get there on time! We can see the traffic report on the small TV we had. 

2. I would have used a different photographer. It's not that they didn't take beautiful pictures, they just didn't listen to what I wanted! I have several duplicates of the exact same photo, but they didn't get a picture of me dancing with my dad. The picture I have was taken by my cousin. I was really upset by that. There's lots of pictures of us getting food, which we didn't want, but NO pictures of the guests at the reception. Those pictures came from my cousin, my best friend, and one of our groomsmen, who took some photo's for us.

Other than that, everything was wonderful! Our DJ was great, he was funny, listened to what we asked him to do, only made one boo boo the entire night, and it really wasn't a big deal at all.  


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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 5:30 PM Go to message in response to: Fitzer

dear Fitzer,

"Sorry for the strapless, aunt, I just liked my collarbones too much to cover them with straps! "

Your photos are beautiful.

I'd have to undergo a whole heap of psychiatric therapy to root out a prejudice implanted in my brain 40 years ago. It's one of my little quirks.

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savex389 Posts : 506 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 5:32 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

I loved my wedding for the most part but..

1. i would have taken my mom with me more than once when dress shopping. she was really difficult in the beginning , because she wanted me to either rent or wear her dress and made shopping no fun at all. I feel really bad about taking the easy road though and leaving her out, i know she's pretty sad about it. 

2. bought the BM's dresses instead of having them sewn. My MIL did a good job, but my BM's wouldn't help her out by coming to fittings and in the end the dresses didn't fit the way i would have liked.

3. Been more strict with my wedding party. My BMs, except for my sister, were all really flaky and wouldn't give me any of their time so i ended up running around town to find them and basically serve them (which so isn't like me but i was scared that they'd drop out of the wedding if i was too mean). one of my GM decided that he didn't need to stay for all of the wedding party pictures or for the reception. My DH was a GM for his wedding and we stayed until the VERY end and helped clean up so i was very disappointed. Along with the wedding party, i wish we would have put off our wedding for another 6 months so our best friend would have been off his mission and could have been another GM.

4. Had someone take pictures at the reception, i have no picture of my cake or decor to put in my album.

5. invited more people! it was December so i didn't get the turn out that i had hoped for and a lot of the food went to waste.

6. i wish more people would have danced. we paid for a DJ and only my sister and i were out of the floor the whole time. so maybe what i really mean to say is not have had a DJ and only a ipod with music on it.

7. i liked my flowers but i didn't love them, we went with a family friend to do them to save money but she really didn't stick to what i wanted. i wanted shades of purple, nothing else and i got greens and browns in them too. but oh well, she did a really good job and everyone thought they were real.

I guess the good thing is that DH and i paid for the wedding ourselves, were only engaged for 6 months and still were able to afford the caribean cruise honeymoon! oh and that we're married! :)

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 5:38 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

Dear Linda Jo,

"So, hence Auntofthebride? It was nice to read that."

Yes. I was the substitute mother for her wedding.

Finances were "weird" for my niece, as well. She had her entire inheritance, by then, and could have just paid for her wedding by writing a check.

But...

Years ago a high school friend of mine got married about the same time I did. After about five years, she knocked on her parents' door in the middle of the night. He had been physically abusive for their entire marriage, and she was in fear for her life. Her parents took her right in, of course, and helped her through a very difficult divorce. That story has always haunted me.

When my niece got engaged, I discussed it with my husband, then did the following. We told her that we wanted to host the wedding. We wanted her to get married "from home", and we wanted her to always feel like our home was her home. I wanted her to feel like she could knock on our door any time of the day or night, and we would take her in. Once we depart this earth, she can do the same with either of her two cousins, namely my sons.

So, seeing as by that time she was very good with budgets and finance, we gave her the cash for her wedding. She planned a beautiful wedding, doing most of the work herself. I helped here and there, as did her husband's mother.

My husband and I sat in the "parents of the bride" seats at the wedding, but she walked down the aisle accompanied only by her late parents, in spirit. She wanted the symbolism of walking with them on either side, even though they could not be there in the flesh.

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love4greys Posts : 396 Registered: 1/22/07
Re: Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 7:02 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

I am very pleased with my wedding and so glad that we had a long enough engagment to save money for everything.  But, things I would do differently would be

1.  Not ordering so much food!  We had enough food left over to feed all our gusts three times!

2.  I would have eaten more cake.  I only had the one bite at the cutting ceremony.

3.  I would have danced more. 

That is all I can think of right now.  Pretty happy with everything!

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gwtwred Posts : 258 Registered: 7/6/06
Re: Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 7:09 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

My wedding went well overall, but in retrospect, the main thing I would have done differently is to have relaxed more and tried to enjoy the day.  I'm very much a Type A personality, and I was so nervous the whole time (I woke up at 4:00 AM that morning!), worrying about whether or not my guests were comfortable, whether everyone was enjoying themselves, whether I was unintentionally offending or neglecting someone, etc., that I never once loosened up.  Looking back, I don't like the fact that in all of the pictures of me walking down the aisle I'm not even smiling and I mostly just look terrified.  In retrospect, I realize that my guests were all FINE, and perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.  After all, the whole reason that they were there, anyway, was to support me and my husband.  Rather than watching me stress out to make sure that all of the food was served on time, the music cued on time, the toasts started on time, etc., they probably would have preferred just seeing me smile. 

Other small things that I would have changed:

1. I would have ordered much less cake.  There was already a dessert included with our dinner package, so we ended up with two entire sheet cakes left over.

2. I would have gone dress shopping with my mom at least a few times.  I actually wore her wedding dress, not because it was my favorite but because I thought it would make her happy to see me wear it.  However, I realize now that she probably would have preferred the experience of shopping with her daughter.

3. I would have chosen a more comfortable dress for the reception.  The beading on the bodice turned out to be extremely itchy, and by the end of the night my arms were all red and raw on the inside.

4. I would have gone on an actual honeymoon.  I'm a teacher, and I didn't want to take any extra days off of work, so my husband and I just went on a small honeymoon in Bend, Oregon for two nights.   We planned to go on our actual honeymoon later on during one of my school vacations, but somehow we never did.  Now, after a year and a half of marriage, I don't see it ever happening. 

 

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MrsWilliams2008 Posts : 1,431 Registered: 7/19/07
Re: Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 8:26 PM Go to message in response to: Scheherazade

I would have measured the tables at our reception. Our centerpieces were WAAAAY too small for our tables cringe

I would have started saving money LONG before the ENGAGEMENT. Our final tally was only about 5K but we only had just a little more than half of that in the "wedding savings".

I probably would've taken THREE weeks of paid leave instead of TWO weeks for vacation.

I would've actually EATEN at the reception. People are STILL telling me how great the food and cake was and all i had was a couple bites...literally. I was too busy with hugs, dances, and photo ops. I had to settle for Burger King on our wedding night LOL

Those are minor things and I still had a fabulous time :-)


                         Poster Formerly Known as beauti381

http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/RyAnne Stafford&RobertWilliams, Jr

                              Happily Married since June 21, 2008

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brix24 Posts : 165 Registered: 8/3/08
Re: Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 8:52 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

You will love Brazil - I have lived in Paraguay on and off since the late 80's and travelled alot to Brazil.  The people are gorgeous, both in their style and their spirit.   Have fun!  

  

 free happiness with every moment!

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kowgirlbride Posts : 52 Registered: 3/30/08
Re: Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 10:05 PM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

Most of the day was fabulous, but I would have changed a few things:

1. I would have shelled out the $80 bucks to have a violinist at the ceremony. I didn't want the hassle of meeting with her and I had 100% faith in my dj to do it. Boy, was I wrong. My DJ let me down numerous times and we had no music for the ceremony.

2. Shoudl have had an iPod wedding. I have known my DJ for years, done numerous queen pageants with him and thought he know what he was doing. Wrong!! No music for ceremony, no music for bridal party entrance, and played the wrong song for our first dance (Kenny Chesney You had me from hello EWWW, so cliche!!) So we actually had 2 first dances.

3. I would have eaten and made my DH eat since he got impossibly intoxicated and we missed our limo ride home. I also spent weeks baking desserts for the recepton and only had 1 cupcake and a bit of our wedding cake.

4. I wish I would have made that list for our photographer (my uncle)that I kept meaning to do. I'm not sure we have any couple only photos. We'll have to see when they come in.

5. I wish it hadn't all gone by so fast. I'm still trying to piece everything together.

On the upside, things I wouldn't have changed:

1. Our invitations, programs, table linens, table decorations, and venue. They were all perfect.

2. The weather. The day before it was over 100 with the heat index and humid as all get out. The day of it was in the 80's, breezy, and hardly any humidity. Our sunset ceremony was perfect.

3. The ride in with my dad on the horses. That was very special. My dad and I haven't always gotten along, but that ride with him was darn special.

4. The ride out with my new husband. Even more darn special.

5. My choice of ring bearer-my dog. The best ring bearer ever. People are still taking about how fantastic he was.

6. My choice of bridal party. My two best girlfriends really did give me some trouble (like not coming to my bridal shower) but I couldn't imagine anyone else standing next to me that day. I also had my big and little brother stand up with me. I couldn't imagine them anywhere else but at my side on my big day. It was worth all the funny looks I got from people when I explained my "bridesmen!"

Think thats all for now, I'm still reliving every moment though!!


 

 Bonnie & Cory  August 2nd, 2008

 

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Married Girls: What Would YOU Do Different?
Posted: Aug 14, 2008 10:10 PM Go to message in response to: kowgirlbride

Dear KGB,

"5. My choice of ring bearer-my dog. The best ring bearer ever. People are still taking about how fantastic he was."

Totally cool!

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