MisterKelleys No B.S. Advice Column - NEW- MY Question of the Week #2

Online Users: 1,274 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 297


MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 9:09 PM Go to message in response to: FinallyMrsF

SoontobeMrsFari's family can't tell time - She writes:

Hi MrKelley,

I have been "lurking" this post since it started and find it refreshingly funny. Why does my family keep telling me there's plenty of time left before the wedding? It's in 3 months for crying outloud! Please give me your insight into this

Thanks

Frustrated Red Sox Fan

 

Kerri and Michael 10/25/08

First of all, if you're a Red Sox fan, you've got deeper problems than time management issues.  Thankfully for you, I'm willing to look past your major fallacies. I'm " Taking the high road" here.

The reason why your family keeps telling you that you have plenty of time is because they're not the ones that are doing 8 million freaking things to pull this fiasco off in an orderly and timely manner. You see there's 2 kinds of time - There's Hey! we're going to soontobemrsfari's wedding in October- that's over 3 months away. And then there's what I like to call Bride Time- which, if my calculations are correct, runs approximately 3 times faster than  "sit on my ass and enjoy the wedding as a guest" time.  Unfortunetly since none of these slugs seems to understand that time takes on a totally different meaning when it's up to you to make all the decisions, arrangments and plans, not to mention that it always seems that grown men revert to 2nd graders and have to be babysat and told how to do even the most seemily no brainer activities like - get measured and order your Tux. Or, in my case "Are you going to call your friend that's a DJ or do I have to do that too? There's very little you can do to actually change the situation.  You can however, rid yourself of one major headache - Swear Alliegence to the Evil Empire and stop cheering for those loser Boston Red Sox. It's won't help your time management situation but you'll sleep better at night.

P.S. I see that your Wedding day is Oct. 25th - Hope and pray that the Red Sox aren't in the World Series and have a game that night.


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 9:41 PM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

Dear Mr. Kelley,

Why does my DH always want to get busy right before it's time to leave for somewhere important?  Weddings, graduation parties, birthday parties.....I appreciate the attention but can't he wait until we home?????

Because he's trying to get OUT of going to those special occasions like birthday parties and weddings.


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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Angele Posts : 76 Registered: 8/15/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 9:47 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Hi MisterKelley,

Got a guy question for you: Why does my FH wait until the last minute (like before we go to bed) to do anything like take out the garbage, walk the dog, or load the dishwasher? I ask him well in advance, multiple times to do these tasks and he says "Yes, I'll take care of it in a minute." To me a minute means, sixty seconds, not an hour or more later. What does a minute mean in guy time?

Thanks. 

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 10:34 PM Go to message in response to: Angele

Hi MisterKelley,

Got a guy question for you: Why does my FH wait until the last minute (like before we go to bed) to do anything like take out the garbage, walk the dog, or load the dishwasher? I ask him well in advance, multiple times to do these tasks and he says "Yes, I'll take care of it in a minute." To me a minute means, sixty seconds, not an hour or more later. What does a minute mean in guy time?

Thanks. 

Angele, what a minute in guy time means is -  however long I can possibly blow off doing these stupid chores. You see, to a guy, it's all about priorities and loading the dishwasher and taking the garbage out is not something that requires interupting Ultimate Fighting Championships and Spike TV. It never gets better, It will never change, just accept it and move along.


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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We2Heart Posts : 452 Registered: 10/11/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 9:18 AM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Dear MisterKelley,

Long time lurker, big fan.  But I finally have something to ask!  Do you believe men suffer from something that is equivalent to PMS in women?  And why is it that when I'm not in a good mood, I'm told to 'shut it down', but my FH can turn around and be moody right back at me?  But when I tell him to 'shut it down' he feels he has every right to complain so he ignores me. 

Many thanks

-Moody in Glen Ellyn


 

**Live High, Live Mighty, Live Righteously...**

**Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.**



 

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Joce Posts : 290 Registered: 11/30/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 12:19 PM Go to message in response to: We2Heart

Dear MisterKelley

Our wedding is coming up in 2.5months, and FH has mentioned he wants to be more involved in the planning.  (not sure I actually believe this, but this is what he says).  However, I'm still waiting on the addresses he promised to get me 6 weeks ago.  What tasks can i give him to do so he feels involved, at the same time don't stress me out if they don't get done on Bride-Time?  What sort of things were you involved in when planning your wedding?

Thanks- and love this thread!!
Joce
Calgary, Alberta, Canada


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Ashleyanne2010 Posts : 447 Registered: 5/3/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 1:22 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Dear MisterKelley,

When he's not scarfing Jack in the Box (so sad for you that you don't have that anymore!!!) and talking to his 14 year old pimply "friends" on W.oW. he's voicing all his opinions about the wedding and how he wants it to be.  How do I make it clear that if I want his opinion I'll give it to him?


 

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Pamlin Posts : 958 Registered: 10/26/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 1:53 PM Go to message in response to: Ashleyanne2010

Dear Mr. Kelley,

You mentioned in a previous response that

JITB kicks about 12 kinds of ass.

exactly which 12 kinds of ass does JITB kick?

 

And Ashleyanne, since you've obviously achieved Warcraft Widowhood, I give you this, to attach to any and all emails you send to your FH:


Pamlin

The wedding will be lovely, but it's the next day and every day after that makes me truly excited.

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Ashleyanne2010 Posts : 447 Registered: 5/3/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 2:21 PM Go to message in response to: Pamlin

hahahahahahha pamlin!

i sent it to him... he was not as amused as i am =)


 

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LittleRoo Posts : 1,054 Registered: 2/17/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 24, 2008 8:02 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

"Honestly Kelley, why do you have to reply to everything I say? I live 4 feet away from you"

Sorry Kelley, but that was really funny.  :)

" Well flowers is an area that I need to improve upon - see how I admit this? :)  You should also know that I'm right on top of refilling all 3 3 ice cube trays in my refrigerator when they need it. Fold the laundry? Ha Ha Honey I do the entire laundry every week, that includes folding. I also do the dishes quite frequently without being asked. As for forgoing Video ganes to watch dance programs, well I rarely if ever play video ganes at night. WHile I don't take an active interest in SYTYCD, I make sure that I'm in the same room with Mrs. Kelley when she watches it. This tells you that I'm willing to suffer right along with her. I can't cover her ears when Mary talks because I'm too damn busy covering my own ears, I swear when woman laughs I have to replace 4 lightbulbs and the TV speaker. But I am pretty quick on the mute button. As an added bonus, Misterkelley is the one who vacuums, mops the floors, takes the trash out, puts gas in the car for my wife, and loves animals."

MrKelley, you are the model for all men to strive to be.  If you are doing everything around the house, does that mean MrsKelley gets to watch soap operas and eat bon bons all day?  Lucky MrsKelley.

I have a question.  I have a friend (wink wink) and her husband rarely initiates sex with her and doesn't seem to care if they ever do it.  Do you think he isn't attracted to her any more?  Why do some men not seem interested in sex with their wives?

--Imaginary Roo


Who's that little couple just sittin' on my wedding cake?

Go Kelliza--cha cha cha...and JAZZ HANDS!!

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Mrslinnben Posts : 2,285 Registered: 6/4/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 25, 2008 10:55 AM Go to message in response to: LittleRoo

Imaginary Roo:  Thank you so much for asking this question.  You see I'm kinda in the same situation as your "friend".  I really a mans insight on this before I have the shell out money to ask an expert.

 I have a question.  I have a friend (wink wink) and her husband rarely initiates sex with her and doesn't seem to care if they ever do it.  Do you think he isn't attracted to her any more?  Why do some men not seem interested in sex with their wives?


The La Kickin' Loosers are gonna kick everyone out of our way of reaching the top prize, so watch out!

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 25, 2008 11:47 AM Go to message in response to: Mrslinnben

Dear Mr.Kelley,

Wow!  Between the non-chick-flick-watching and the mopping you do around the house, you sure a very busy Mister!  I was hoping that you could give me your opinion on the latest Batman movie, and whether you think it succeeds as an allegory of our post 9/11 anxiety?  Or maybe because the late Heath Ledger rocks?

Thanks!

Signed,

- Thinks that when the light hits her face at a certain angle, Neve Campbell can be somewhat attractive.


__________________________________________
"I'm asking you to believe.  Not just in my ability to bring about real change in Washington. . .I'm asking you to believe in yours." - Barack Obama

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 25, 2008 12:40 PM Go to message in response to: Joce

MisterKelley -What sort of things were you involved in when planning your wedding?" - JOCE

Id just like to go ahead and comment on that last statement by Joce before MisterKelley sees it by simply saying ....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--- ROTFLMAO at the humor of MrKelley "participating" in the planningof our wedding !!!! - HAAAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAA and another HA HA HA LOLOLOLOLOL!!!

Oh -that is a good one. Now that right there folks is what you call COMEDY at its finest. MisterKelley helping to plan the wedding - AAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHAAA!!! Good one!!!!!

Okay Im done now. Very curious as to what his answer will be on THAT particular question though. (wping tears from eyes from too much laughter.)

Hahahaha....

Sorry. Had to come back and laugh some more .....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ....................

Oh mercy.


Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 7 where TEAM KEL -LIZZA will remain Champions of Weightloss!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 


Message was edited by: kelleyiskelley

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Heidibride30 Posts : 1,201 Registered: 4/16/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 25, 2008 1:21 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Dear MisterKelley (of COURSE you can call me Heidi!), it has been insinuated in another thread that all Brides are crazy bitches who come into marriage planning to ruin their FMIL's lives.  What do you think we can do to change this perception?  Thanks! 

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Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 25, 2008 1:28 PM Go to message in response to: Heidibride30

Dear MisterKelley -

I am a big fan. Sometimes on the boards, after a thread is started saying, oh I don't know a late MOB dress, another poster will start a thread saying "Not to point fingers but..." and basically give advice on how a vendor's screw up can be avoided if the bride is careful. Do these jackasses honestly think poster #1 won't notice its about them? How do you handle this if you are poster #1?  Thanks for any guidance.


 

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." - Billy Crystal, When Harry met Sally 

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