any other almost brides?

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Guest
any other almost brides?
Posted: May 28, 2007 5:16 PM

I was engaged on Christmas Day and just canceled the wedding/ended the relationship on Friday.  I am grateful to have made the decision now rather than proceeding with what likely would have been an unsuccesful marriage.  People talk about those who are left standing at the altar or other such scenarios in which engagements are broken once the wedding is planned.  Are there any other almost-brides out there that can share coping strategies or advice for grieving and beginning a new life? 

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: any other almost brides?
Posted: May 28, 2007 9:27 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I've known many young women (my daughter, now married, was among them) who have canceled weddings, usually for very good reasons. the last one I heard about was, believe it or not, about two hours ago! And then there are those (50% of the population!) who gone through divorce after the fact (including me, a long time ago). Advice--not a lot. You will go through a grieving process, and it will get better--trust me on this one. And, when you're ready, you will move on, and you'll be stronger and smarter the next time around. Let's hope that you have a good support system--family, friends, colleagues. They will help you. Even if you don't, try not to sit home and obsess.Find something that really interests you--a class, a sport, a hobby, an interest group--and use that as a way toward a new beginning. Very best to you.

myra at www.classysassyweddings.com


Message was edited by myra on May 28, 2007 9:27 PM

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Guest
Re: any other almost brides?
Posted: May 28, 2007 10:49 PM Go to message in response to: myra

Thanks Myra!

There was no single reason that the wedding was canceled, but my fiance was significantly older than me, and the age difference (and all of it's implications) was becoming more apparent to me over the last 9-12 months.  I feel like I've been grieving the loss of this relationship for several months, so I am willing to take "moving on" as it comes- be it sooner or later.  It will take me stepping outside of my comfort zone to get out into a social scene, but I'm sure the right man is out there somewhere.

 

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alyssa Posts : 239 Registered: 11/20/06
Re: any other almost brides?
Posted: May 29, 2007 5:16 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

i was an almost bride in college. compared to my current relationship, it was really juvenille. i don't know what advice i could give, my college relationship and my current one are not even on the same level. i'm just glad i finally got the guts to call it off, though i wouldn't have let it get to the wedding planning point. i was lucky i had a great network of friends that helped me through. i had called it off, so i didn't have a lot of hurt. i reconnected with friends i'd let slide when i was with him. i went out socially and i decided not to date anyone seriously for the next year so i could enjoy being single (i'd been with ex-fh for two years and before him i dated another guy for a year, i hadn't really been single in a couple of years). in my situation, i had a lot of anger that i had stayed with this guy for so long. (six months into it he got offered a job in another state and part of me wanted him to move so i could end it with him). if you have anger, try not to let it eat you up. because of my college fiancee and what i went through with him, it helped me realize just what exactly i want in a relationship and partnership. and, if i had stayed with him, things wouldn't have lined up the way they did. i probably would have never met my fh. so if anything, this is just to let you know you're not alone. been there, done that. not proud of it, it really sucks. but it will all come out in the wash. just give yourself time to heal.

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