Why he's pushing engagement

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AshBear21 Posts : 12 Registered: 9/5/06
Why he's pushing engagement
Posted: Apr 7, 2007 10:21 PM

Ok, so I have been dating my b/f for about 5 years now and have dated him for almost two years long distance. Recently I told him that I may need space and possibly wanting to see other guys. This is b/c we have been dating since high school and I am a Senior in college now almost ready to graduate and have not dated anyone else seriously. I see my friends going out having fun and meeting guys. I thought I wanted to see what it was like to be single and date different guys. We talked about it and he said that if I felt that I needed to get these feelings out of my system before we got married, then I should go and do that and he would be here waiting for me when I was done. Well, naturally I was emotional and upset. How could I go off and be with other guys when I have a awesome guy waiting for me? I felt really bad and guilty so I told him I didn't want to go and experience other guys. We talked about it after and he became really sensative nad emotional about everything. He would tell me how much he loves me and misses. Getting engaged has been a battle b/c he isn't financially stable right now b/c of Paramedic school and irresponsible spending sprees. He told me he can't afford a ring right now but ever since I told him I was confused, he has been bringing up the type of rings I want and he told me tonight that he was thinking about getting engaged earlier than what he had told me in the past just as long as we would wait a while and not get married in August of 2008 like I had hoped. I suggested October of 2008 and he said that was fine with him. My biggest concern is, I feel like he is pushing the proposal b/c I scared him with the whole I might want to see what else is out there idea? He even told me that he was scared that he was going to lose me. I love him to death and I know I will be happily married to him, but I don't want to get engaged b/c of what I said. I don't know what to think? HELP!


MelissaJuneBrid... Posts : 698 Registered: 3/13/07
Re: Why he's pushing engagement
Posted: Apr 8, 2007 9:37 PM Go to message in response to: AshBear21

I have been dating my FH for 5 yrs. We met my frosh year of high school and it was his soph year (2002). We have never broken up or fought really bad.

My advice is not to let the things you see your friends doing question your feelings for the one you love. If you have been together this long and have made it for 2 years long distance you obviously have something special. A friend of mine would always ask me how I could stay with the same guy for so long. I told her it was simple, I loved him. If this guy treats you good and really loves you, I don't think he'd push getting engaged b/c he's scared. Maybe it just made him realize that he could lose you and doesn't want that and is ready for you two to spend the rest of your lives together. But if you think he's not ready and is just asking so you won't break up with him, then ask him. Honesty is so important and you two should be 100% up front with eachother.

I personally believe that if you are just now questioning the relationship it mostly has to do with your friends. Remember they are probably just looking for what you already have, whether they will admit it or not. Make sure both your intentions for getting married are right and trust eachother. Hope that helped some!




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