Skidish Groom.

Online Users: 0 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 6
Guest
Skidish Groom.
Posted: Nov 29, 2006 6:11 PM

My FH and I have been engaged come Jan 1, 2007 will be one year. and I'm ready for a wedding, we have a 3 yr old son together. I'm ready!  Sometimes he's all gong ho about it and then turns around and tells me he feels rushed!! what to do??  Input???

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49ersfanatic Posts : 581 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Skidish Groom.
Posted: Nov 30, 2006 8:32 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Well after looking at your profile and seeing how he proposed I don't think either one of you may be ready to get married. This is just my opinion. What was this very big fight "knock down, drag out fight" about? I don't want you to have to go into details if you're not willing too. But did he propose b/c he truly loves you and truly wants to marry you? Or did he propose b/c he felt like he had too? I'm sorry but I need a little more info. Have you guys made any kind of wedding plans? I think after being engaged for a year and not making any plans this may be and indication that he's not ready or willing to get married. I'm may be reading into this but my opinion is based on the info I currently have.

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Guest
Re: Skidish Groom.
Posted: Nov 30, 2006 11:38 AM Go to message in response to: 49ersfanatic

So long ago I don't even remember what the fight was about.We often get into stupid little fights that turn ugly fast but then it clears the air and our relationship is 100% better after it. I feel we need a big fight every once in a while to clear the air and know that this is real. We feel couples that don't fight aren't real and aren't in love. We have made some plans about our wedding he made up a guest list of who he would like to invite and I did the same. Also he asked his father to marry us and he's told his family and come Christmas day I will tell mine. So we are moving forward. But I told him I found a dress I really Loveed, and he told me he was feeling rushed.  I often ask him if he wants to marry me or feels that he HAS to, he says he wants to, that he loves me.

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newsjunkie Posts : 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Skidish Groom.
Posted: Dec 2, 2006 5:20 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

You have obviously been together for a while and you have a child together so what is he waiting for?  I can't believe you let him have this long before trying to nail down a date!  I strongly recommend counseling because it sounds like both of you have very different ideas on how your relationship is progressing.  Honestly, DH and I rarely fight and I assure you that we are very much in love.  We have made a commitment to communicate effectively with each other- if something is bothering me I will tell him and vice versa.  This doesn't mean that I yell at him when he does something that bothers me, it just means that I calmly tell him why something bothers me- "I feel sad and lonely when you work really late without calling to tell me" and not "You never call me when you have to work late".  OK, not a great example but I hope you get the point.  Anyway, you love each other and you have a kid so do what you can to strengthen your relationship- and if won't set a date then I think you have a big problem. 
*

BTW, I read your profile and it said you are goths.  If you can, check out "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway" on the Style network.  The episode where a bride gets married at St. Patricks Cathedral also has a wedding with a goth bride and groom, it was pretty cool.  Not my style but very nice- black wedding gown, etc.  Goth but very classy!

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futuremrsperry Posts : 1,904 Registered: 4/23/06
Re: Skidish Groom.
Posted: Dec 2, 2006 5:29 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Ok I am also worried about how he purposed.... you and him have to sit down and talk about what you want... your goals in life and in the relationship....Make sure he's serious about it and not just to keep the relationship going

Message was edited by futuremrsperry on Dec 2, 2006 5:30 PM

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071707 Posts : 313 Registered: 3/31/06
Re: Skidish Groom.
Posted: Dec 3, 2006 3:01 AM Go to message in response to: futuremrsperry

It sounds like he is not ready to be married yet and only proposed because he thought you would leave him if he didn't.

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nicolesybrant Posts : 1,359 Registered: 10/4/06
Re: Skidish Groom.
Posted: Dec 3, 2006 5:08 AM Go to message in response to: 071707

I would be nervous if i were you.  It sounds like he isnt ready to get married... I guess I feel like he can tell you all he wants that he is ready but, until he wants to plan the wedding, its all just talk.

 

About the fighting...yes i do agree that most couples fight and trust me FH and I fight but, I think there is a difference bvetween a BIG (drug out....i cant remember what you called it) and a fight that brings a couple closer and teches them a little more about the other one. 

 

I am sorry you are dealing with this...be careful, make sure this is what you both want.  Try seeing a counselor, even if its just a couple times.  It would help!  Good luck to you and take care, let us know how it goes.

 

Your little guy is adorable!!


Nicole, Future wife to Aaron

 

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