My fiance and I are newly in engaged. We both in the military based in New Mexico but our parents live in Oklahoma. He's told his parents already over the phone and are happy for us. I've told my mom because my mom and I have a good relationship. My parents are divored so telling one parent is one thing but telling the other parent is a little harder. Like my dad.....He's not so understanding. I'm scared hes going to blow up. My mom recommanded to tell him in person, during the holidays but now I'm planning on having surgery over the holidays and I won't be able to go home. I don't want to wait till the last mintue to tell my father, I want him, my mother, and my step father to be part of everything. We plan on having a decent small family wedding. I'm just so scared on how he will react. He doesnt know my fiance. Our parents live in completely different states. How should I put it out there so I can tell the rest of my family?
Why are you afaird of you father blowing up? Is there something about your FH that he wouldn't approve of, or is it more along the lines of you are afaird of letting him down?
As for telling him, you have to do it. The sooner the better. The news is going to spread through your mom's family. Eventually it will get back to your dad. I think that since you can't get home during the holidays, you should tell him on the phone. Then arrange a meeting.
Send him a card. If you can't make it off the base you can order one from Hallmark online personalize it and have it ship directly to him. This is something I would do I mean if you feel uncomfortable talking to him on the phone then send him a letter of the announcement and maybe in the letter telling him that you all will get together when the two of you have some free time. This give him time to cool off if he gets angry and gives you time to prepare your FH.....
That can be really hard. My fiancé proposed in front of my parents, and we rent their basement from them, so we have a really close relationship. His parents, though, are a little harder to tell. They adore me, and are really hoping that we'll get married, but they can also be very nosy and controlling. He's from Ireland, so we're having to go through a lot of legal things to get married, and he doesn't want to have them asking constantly when the date is and what we're going to do and who's invited. Finally, we decided we just have to tell them, and live through the inevitable questions and misunderstandings (he's Catholic, I'm Lutheran; some of his relatives assume that i'll be converting, but I'm not going to) that will follow. What we decided to do is to have him call me when he's ready to tell his parents, and the two of us will tell them together. Maybe you could do that with your dad - the touch of having your fiancé telling your dad with you can really make your dad feel like your fiancé is honoring and respecting him, even though they haven't met yet.Good luck!