Inviting co-workers

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Guest
Inviting co-workers
Posted: Aug 16, 2006 6:46 PM

I heard it's bad etiquette to invite some co workers and not others. So I figured, sure, okay I guess I can invite them all then. I doubt they'll come, as the wedding will be in another state, but if they do...the more the merrier!    My question is, do you think it would be considered bad etiquette for me to hand them their invitations to them in person, rather then mail them?  It just would be a real hassle to go around getting addresses from everyone at work, you know?   What do you think?

 

Kimberly

Our Website
"I loved you before I met you and I met you just in time 'cause there was nothing left."   -Don't Change Your Plans, Ben Folds Five


 

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Inviting co-workers
Posted: Aug 16, 2006 7:45 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

As long as youre inviting everyone from the office, then its no problem to hand deliver them in person. Im inviting a few people from the office, so Im mailing them to be discreet...but since you dont have that issue, you can defaintely hand deliver them. but still make them look pretty.... maybe ask them how they would like their names printed on the official invitation etc. We have had a few weddings, showers, etc at our office and lots of people have done this.


Kelley Lynn:)

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KitKatBar Posts : 983 Registered: 7/23/06
Re: Inviting co-workers
Posted: Aug 16, 2006 8:08 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Since your inviting everyone, I don't see a problem with it. It would be very different if you were only inviting certain people. At my old job, someone put up a note on the pin up board, that they were getting married and gave time, and details that way, but I wouldn't recommend doing it that way...

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Guest
Re: Inviting co-workers
Posted: Aug 16, 2006 11:45 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Technically you should never hand deliver an invitation unless it's at their home.  You'll need their addresses anyways if they send you a gift so that you can send them a thank you note.  I'm sorry but your reasoning sounds quite lazy.  I personally do not think it necessary to invite everyone, especially considering it's out of state, some may take it as a gift grab.  You should only invite people who you are close to and actually want to share your wedding day with.  Would you be able to accomodate them all if they all came with their spouses? 

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Guest
Re: Inviting co-workers
Posted: Aug 17, 2006 8:38 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I hand delivered invitations to all my classmates at school, my mom's coworkers, my dad's coworkers, and my hubby's coworkers (actually, he did that one). Yes it might be lazy, but it worked. Only very few attended and I simply asked them for their address or looked it up in the phone book. It was a pretty casual wedding, so I think it made it less of an issue.

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Guest
Re: Inviting co-workers
Posted: Aug 17, 2006 10:33 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I wasn't being lazy...I'd just feel weird asking some of them for their addresses. Some people I know better than others.  I've read that generally when it comes to inviting co-workers, if you invite one, you should invite them all, to avoid hurting anyone's feelings. I wasn't looking for gifts...I'd intended on telling them not to even worry about gifts, since the wedding is out of state and I know they probably can't come.  And yes, I'd be thrilled if everyone came, and with spouses. Fiance and I are having a hard time putting together a decent guest list because we just don't know very many people.  :P  


Kimberly

Our Website
"I loved you before I met you and I met you just in time 'cause there was nothing left."   -Don't Change Your Plans, Ben Folds Five


 

Message was edited by tetedefromage on Aug 17, 2006 10:37 PM

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Guest
Re: Inviting co-workers
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 1:19 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I agree it can be 'weird' asking co-workers for their addresses, but I still think it should be done.  Even if you aren't asking for addresses you may still want to ask for spouses names anyways.  Getting married is a personal thing not a work thing, and these co-workers deserve the same treatment as all your other guests.  I'm sure it would be no big deal if you did just hand it to them, I myself once was handed an invitation to a co-workers wedding and it wasn't a 'bad' thing, I just personally think it's best to mail them.  

As far as inviting one, invite them all... that's crazy (though I have also heard that I just think it's very silly).  Seriously, I work with 450 people, at least 100 of them closely, and I am friends 'outside of work' with a bunch of them.  I am perfectly comfortable only inviting only those that I actually see outside of work.  I wouldn't want an invite from a co-worker I hardly knew, I would think it weird. 
Now if I worked with 30 people, I wouldn't invite 25 of them and not the other 5... in that case you may as well invite all, but inviting 5 or 10 of them... I would do that.

As far as 'putting together a decent guest list'... count that as a blessing.  Most of us would much prefer a nice cozy small wedding but it quite often gets out of hand. 

Anyways, good luck.  Doing the invitations, getting all the names and addresses etc was the most annoyingly hard thing in all my wedding planning and I felt an enormous sense of relief when I handed the pile over to the post office lady!

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Guest
Re: Inviting co-workers
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 8:10 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I think it's great to hand deliver them!  it's really more personal and gives you the chance to invite them in words not just on paper.  in other cultures hand delievery is practically required if you want people to come.  my brother's wife to be just drove to PA to give invites to her cambodian relatives

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Guest
Re: Inviting co-workers
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 9:15 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I am sorry if we've confused you with such mixed opinions but it seems the board is split with this decision. I DO NOT think you should hand them invitations. And face it, they are going to send you a gift, if they attend, and then you'll be forced to ask for an address ... and that would be odd, after the fact. ALSO it is not bad etiquette to invite some of your coworkers and not everyone. This is not about politics. It's a wedding. I dispise quite a few people I work with and my fiance' and I agreed, we are not inviting them. My fiance works with over 1000 people. A few of his good buddies will be invited ... but not everyone. The same goes for me. ALL IN ALL, it's your wedding. Do what you want, of course. But, it's not an extremely difficult task to get addresses. Do you want your responses hand-returned to you within the work place after you've paid for postage? -----

I apologize for this post. I in no way was trying to be nasty or opinionated, just merely stating my opinion. MrsHoward is right (see below) it completely depends on how formal a wedding is AND ULTIMATELY it's up to you, the bride, as to what you want to do. Whatever you decide will work for you. And that's all that matters. It's your and your fiance's wedding. Good luck!

Message was edited by virginiasoct13 on Aug 18, 2006 11:58 AM

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Guest
Re: Inviting co-workers
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 9:52 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

why would she have to as for addresses eventually?  if you can hand out an invitation, you can hand out thank yous.  And who cares if they hand back the rsvp, steam off the stamp and reuse it. 

 

I suppose it all depends how formal your wedding is, and how comfortable you are with everyone in your office.  I want my wedding to be warm and inviting (while still maintaining some formality).  but i'm definitely going to hand the invitations to my boss and co-worker... seems silly to me to surprise them with it in the mail.

 

 

I remember reading this exact question on the knot ... here it is with carley's response

"Q. What is the etiquette regarding hand-delivered wedding invitations? I want to bring them to my coworkers and a few friends who live near my office. Is this appropriate?

A. Delivering some of your wedding invitations by hand is a fine and acceptable option. However, rather than slipping them into your coworkers' mails slots or onto their desks, make sure it is an actual hand-delivery -- from your hands to theirs. This way, you will get to say a few words to each guest while you present the invitation and, most important, the invitation will not be overlooked." 

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Guest
Re: Inviting co-workers
Posted: Aug 18, 2006 7:47 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Oh no, I know it would be ridiculous to invite everyone in some cases...but I work at an animal hospital, there's only about 15 people or so total.

 

Anyhoo...yes, seems everyone has a different opinion on this matter. I haven't decided what the heck i'll do yet...guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.  Thanks for all the opinions, though! :)


Kimberly

Our Website
"I loved you before I met you and I met you just in time 'cause there was nothing left."   -Don't Change Your Plans, Ben Folds Five


 

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