You and your FH need to go and see someone (counselor of some sort) to learn how to communicate better.
In one sense, he is quite right: the way that you are talking to him is destructive. While he should not expect you to change overnight, you are going to have to get some guidance to know HOW to change these habits.
The habits you are listing like pushing a conversation when you know you shouldn't, generalizing his behavior (the "always" thing) and correcting his behavior by suggesting how he act differently are all straight off a "How NOT to Talk to Your Spouse" list. These are exactly the kinds of things that lead to hurtful and damaging arguments - and sometimes, no matter how hard you try - that damage cannot be undone.
If you're nervous about counseling, try a little self-help. Do an internet search on "spouse communicating" and read what comes up - you are likely to see things to try to help solve some of the exact problems you're talking about. Books can be great, too, but check out reviews from real readers on amazon first, so you don't invest time in something that is not helpful.
He has a right to his feelings, and it is important that you listen to what he is telling you. The fact that he is willing to share this with you says a lot about how much he trusts you. Trust me... it would be much, much worse if you went ahead and married without working this stuff out and then one day he just disappeared because he'd had enough.
Hang in there and keep talking to each other - it's a great sign!
Jennifer
Message was edited by friendofgusgus on Aug 1, 2006 4:36 PM for spelling
